The chances a comedy, as it was acted at the Theater Royal / corrected and altered by a person of honour.

The Chances .

ACT I.

Scene I. Enter Peter and Anthony ; two Servingmen . Peter . WOuld we were remov'd from this Town ( Anthony ) That we might taste some quiet : for mine own part , I 'm almost melted with continual trotting After Enquiries , Dreams , and Revelations , Of who knows whom or where ? serve wenching Soldiers , I 'l serve a Priest in Lent first , and eat Bell-ropes . Anth. Thou art the froward'st Fool — Pet. Why good tame Anthony ? Tell me but this ; to what end came we hither ? Anth. To wait upon our Masters . Pet. But how Anthony ? Answer me that ; resolve me there good Anthony ? Anth. To serve their Uses . Pet. Shew your Uses Anthony . Anth. To be employ'd in any thing . Pet. No Anthony , Not any thing I take it ; nor that thing We travell to discover , like new Islands ; A salt Itch serve such uses ; in things of moment , Concerning things I grant ye , not things errant , Sweet Lady's things , and things to thank the Surgeon : In no such things sweet Anthony ; put case — Anth. Come , come , all will be mended : this invisible Woman Of infinite report for Shape and Beauty , ●hat bred us all this trouble to no purpose , They are determin'd now no more to think on . Pet. Were there ever Men known to run mad with Report before ? Or wander after that they know not where To find ? or if found , how to enjoy ? are mens brains Made now adays of malt , that their affections Are never sober ? but like drunken people Founder at every new fame ? I do believe That men in love are ever drunk , as drunken men Are ever loving . Anth. Prethee be thou sober , And know that they are none of those , not guilty Of the least vanity of love , only a doubt Fame might too far report , or rather flatter The Graces of this Woman , made them curious To find the truth , which since they find so Lock't up from their Searches , they are now resolv'd To give the wonder over . Pet. Would they were resolv'd To give me some new shooes too : for I 'l be sworn These are e'n worn out to the reasonable souls In their good Worships business● and some Sleep Would not do much amiss , unless they mean To make a Bell-man of me : here they come . Exeunt . Enter Don John and Frederick . Ioh. I would we could have seen her tho : for sure She must be some rare Creature , or Report lies , All mens reports too . Fred. I could well wish I had seen Constantia ; But since she is so conceal'd , plac'd where No knowledge can come near her ; so guarded As 't were impossible , tho known , to reach her , I have made up my belief . Ioh. Hang me from this hour , If I more think upon her , But as she came a strange Report unto me , So the next Fame shall lose her . Fred. 'T is the next way : But whither are you walking● Ioh. My old round After my meat and then to bed . Fred. 'T is healthfull . Ioh. Will not you stir ? Fred. I have a little business . Ioh. I 'd lay my life this Lady still — Fred. Then you wou'd lose it . Ioh. Pray let 's walk together . Fred. Now I cannot . Ioh. I have something to impart . Fred. An hour hence I will not miss to meet ye . Ioh. Where ? Fred. I' th high street ; For not to lye , I have a few devotions To do first , then I am yours . Ioh. Remember . Exeunt .

SCENE II. Enter Petruchio , Antonio , and two Gentlemen . Ant. Cut his wind-pipe , I say . 1. Gent. Fie Antonio . Ant. Or knock his brains out first , and then forgive him . If you do thrust , be sure it be to th' hilts , A Surgeon may see throw him . 1. Gent. You are too violent . 2. Gent. To open , undiscreet . Petr. Am I not ruin'd ? The Honour of my House crack'd ? my Blood poyson'd ? My Credit and my Name ? 2. Gent. Be sure it be so , Before ye use this violence . Let not Doubt And a suspecting Anger so much sway ye , Your wisdom may be question'd . Ant. I say kill him , And then dispute the cause ; cut off what may be , And what is , shall be safe● 2. Gent. Hang up a true man , Because 't is possible he may be thievish : Alas , is this good Justice ? Pet. I know as certain As Day must come again ; as cleer as Truth , And open as Belief can lay it to me , That I am basely wrong'd , wrong'd above recompence , Maliciously abus'd , blasted for ever In Name and Honour , lost to all remembrance , But what is smear'd and shameful ; I must kill him , Necessity compells me . 1. Gent. But think better . Pet. There is no other Cure left : yet witness with me All that is fair in man , all that is noble , I am not greedy of this life I seek for , Nor thirst to shed mans blood ; and would 't were possible , I wish it with my soul , so much I tremble To offend the sacred Image of my Maker , My Sword could only kill his Crimes ; no 't is Honour , Honour my noble Friends , that Idol Honour , That all the World now worships , not Petruchio , Must do this Justice . Ant. Let it once be done , And 't is no matter , whether you or Honour , Or both be accessary . 2. Gent. Do you weigh , Petruchio , The value of the Person , power , and greatness , And what this spark may kindle ? Pet. To perform it , So much I am ty'd to Reputation● And credit of my House , let it raise wild fires , And storms that toss me into everlasting ruine , Yet I must through ; if ye dare side me . Ant. Dare ? Pet. Y' are friends indeed , if not . 2. Gent. Here 's none flies from you , Do it in what design you please , we 'l back ye . 1. Gent. Is the cause so mortal , nothing but his life ? Pet. Believe me , A loss Offence has been the Desolation Of a whole Nam● . 1. Gent. No othe● way to purge it ? Pet. There is , but never to be hop'd for . 2. Gent. Think an Hour more , And if then ye find no safer road to guide ye , We 'l set up our Rests too . Ant. Mine's up already , And hang him for my part , goes less than life . 2. Gent. If we see noble Cause , 't is like our Swords May be as free and forward as your Words . Exeunt .

SCENE III. Enter Don John. Ioh. The civil order of this City Naples Makes it belov'd , and honour'd of all Travellers , As a most safe Retirement in all Troubles ; Beside the wholsome Seat and noble temper Of those Minds that inhabit it , safely wise And to all Strangers courteous : but I see My Admiration has drawn night upon me , And longer to expect my friend may pull me Into suspition of too late a stirrer , Which all good Governments are jealous of . I 'l home , and think at liberty : yet certain , 'T is not so far night , as I thought ; for see , A fair House yet stands open , yet all about it Are close ; and no lights stirring : there may be foul play I 'l venture to look in : If there be Knaves , I may do a good Office. Woman within . Within . Signior ? Iohn . What ? how is this ? Within . Signior Fabritio ? Iohn . I 'l go nearer . Within . Fabritio ? Iohn . This is a Womans tongue , here may be good done . Within . Who 's there ? Fabritio ? Iohn . I. Within . Where are you ? Iohn . Here. Within . O come for Heavens sake ! Iohn . I must see what this means . Enter Woman with a Child . Within . I have stay'd this long hour for you , make no noise , For things are in strange trouble here , be secret , 'T is worth your care ; be gone now , more eyes watch us , Than may be for our safeties . Iohn . Hark ye ? Within . Peace : goodnight . Exit . Iohn . She 's gone , and I am loaden ; fortune for me ; It weigh's well , and it feel's well ; it may chance To be some pack of worth : by th' Mass 't is heavy ; If it be Coin or Jewels , It is worth welcome : I 'll ne'r refuse a Fortune : I am confident 'T is of no common price : now to my Lodging : If it be right , I 'l bless this night . Exit .

SCENE IV. Enter Don Fredrick . Fred. T is strange , I cannot meet him ; sure he has encounter'd Some light o' love or other , and there means To play at in and in for this night . Well Don Iohn , If you do spring a leak , or get an itch , Till you claw off your curl'd pate , thank your night walks : You must be still a boot-haleing : one round more , Tho it be late , I 'l venture to discover ye , I do not like your out-leaps . Exit .

SCENE V. Enter Duke and three Gentlemen . Duke . Welcom to Town , are ye all fit ? 1. Gent. To point Sir. Duke . Where are the Horses ? 2. Gent. Where they were appointed . Duke . Be private , and whatsoever Fortune Offer it self , let us stand sure . 3. Gent. Fear us not . E're you shall be endanger'd or deluded , We 'l make a black night on 't . Duke . No more , I know it , You know your Quarters ? 1. Gent. Will you go alone Sir ? Duke . Ye shall not be far from me , the least Noise Shall bring ye to my Rescue . 2. Gent. We are counsel'd . Exeunt .

SCENE . VI. Enter Don John. Iohn . Was ever man so paid for being curious ? Ever so bob'd for searching out Adventures , As I am ? did the Devil lead me ? must I needs be peeping Into mens Houses where I had no business , And make my self a mischief ? 't is well carry'd ; I must take other mens occasions on me , And be I know not whom : most finely handled : What have I got by this now ? what 's the purchase ? A piece of evening Arras work , a Child , Indeed an Infidel : this comes of peeping : A lump got out of laziness ; good white bread , Let 's have no bawling with ye : 's death , have I Known Wenches thus long , all the ways of Wenches , Their Snares and Subtilties ? have I read over All their School-learning , div'd into their Quiddits And am I now bumfidled with a Bastard ? Fetch 't over with a card of five , and in my old daies , After the dire Massacre of a Million Of maidenheads ? caught the common way , i th' night too Under anothers name , to make the matter Carry more weight about it ? well Don Iohn , You will be wiser one day , when ye've purchas'd A Beavy of those Butter-prints together , With searching out concealed Iniquities , Without commission : why , it would never grieve me , If I had got this Ginger-bread : never stirr'd me , So I had a stroke for 't : 't had been justice , Then to have kept it ; but to raise a Dayry For other mens Adulteries , consume my self in Candles , And scouring work , in Nurses , Bells , and Babies , Only for Charity , ●or Meer I thank you , A little troubles me : the least Touch for it , Had but my Breeches got it , had contented me . Whose e'r it is , sure 't had a wealthy Mother For 't is well cloath'd , and if I be not cozen'd , Well lin'd within : to leave it here were barbarous , And ten to one would kill it : a worse sin Than his that got it : well , I will dispose on 't , And keep it , as they keep deaths Heads in rings , To cry Memento to me ; no more Peeping : Now all the danger is , to qualify The good old Gentlewoman , at whose House we live , For she will fall upon me with a Catechism Of four hours long : I must endure all ; For I will know this mother : come good wonder , Let you and I be jogging : your starv'd trebble Will waken the rude Watch else : all that be Curious night walkers , may they find my fee. Exit .

SCENE VII . Enter Frederick . Fred. Sure he 's gone home : I have beaten all the Purlews , But cannot bolt him : if he be a bobbing 'T is not my care can cure him to morrow morning I shall have further knowledge from a Surgeon — Where he lies moor'd to mend his Laks . Enter 1 Constantia . C●n. I am ready , And through a world of dangers am flown to ye , Be full of hast and care , we are undone else : Where are your people : which way must we travell ? For Heavens sake stay not here Sir. Fred. What may this prove ? Con. Alas , I am mistaken , lost , undone , For ever perish'd , Sir for Heavens sake tell me , Are ye a Gentleman ? Fred. I am . Con. Of this place ? Fred. No , born in Spain . Con. As ever you lov'd honour , As ever your desires may gain their ends , Do a poor wretched Woman but this Benefit , For I am forc't to trust ye . Fre. Y 'ave charm'd me , Humanity and Honor bids me help ye ; And if I fail your trust — Con. The time 's too dangerous To stay your protestations : I believe ye , Alas , I must believe ye : From this place , Good noble Sir , remove me instantly . And for a time , where nothing but your self , And honest Conversation may come near me , In some secure place settle me . What I am , And why thus boldly I commit my credit ●nto a Stranger 's hand , the fears and dangers , That force me to this wild course , at more leisure I shall reveal unto you . Fre. Come be hearty , He must strike through my life that takes You from me . Exeun● .

SCENE VIII . Enter Petruchio , Antonio , and two Gentlemen . Pet. He will sure come . Are ye all well arm'd ? An. Never fear us . Here 's that will make 'em dance without a fiddle . Pet : We are to look for no weak Foes , my Friends , Nor unadvised ones . An. Best Gamesters make the best Play , We shall fight close and home then . 1. Gent. Antonio , You are a thought too bloody . An. Why ? all Physicians And penny Almanacks allow the opening Of Veins this Month : Why do ye talk of bloody ? What come we for , to fall to cuffs for apples ? What would you make the Cause a Cudgel-Quarrel ? Pet. Speak softly , gentle Cosin . An. I will speak truly● What should men do ally'd to these Disgraces , Lick o're his Enemy , sit down , and dance him ? 2. Gent. You are as far o' th' Bow Hand now . An. And try , That 's my fine Boy , thou wilt do so no more Child . Pet. Here are no such cold pities . An. By St. Iaques , They shall not find me one : Here 's old tough Andrew , A special Friend of mine , and he but hold , I 'll strike 'em such a Horn-pipe : knocks I come for , And the best blood I light on ; I profess it , Not to scare Costermongers ; if I lose my own , My audit's lost , and farwell five and fifty . Pet. Let 's talk no longer , place your selves with silence , As I directed ye ; and when time calls us , As ye are Friends , so shew your selves . An. So be it . Exeunt .

SCENE IX . Enter Don John and his Land-Lady . Land. Nay Son if this be your regard . Io. Good Mother . Land. Good me no goods , your Cousin and your self Are welcome to me , whilst you bear your selves Like honest and true Gentlemen : Bring hither To my House , that have ever been reputed A Gentlewoman of a decent and a fair Carriage , And so behaved my self ? Io. I know you have . Land. Bring hither , as I say , to make my Name Stink in my Neighbours Nostrils ? Your devices , Your Brats got out of Alligant and broken Oaths ? Your Linsey-wolsey work , your Hasty-Puddings ? I foster up your filtch'd Iniquities ? Y' are deceived in me , Sir , I am none Of those receivers . Io. Have I not sworn unto you , 'T is none of mine , and shew'd you how I found it ? Land. Ye found an easie fool that let you get it . Io. Will you hear me ? Land. Oaths ? What care you for Oaths to gain your ends . When ye are high and pamper'd ? What Saint know ye ? Or what Religion , but your purpos'd lewdness , Is to be look'd for of ye ? nay , I will tell ye , You will then swear like accus'd Cut-purses , As far off truth too ; and lye beyond all Falconers : I 'm sick to see this dealing . Io. Heaven forbid , Mother . Land. Nay , I am very sick . Io. Who waits there ? Pet. Sir ? ( Within . ) Io. Bring down the Bottle of Canary Wine . Land. Exceeding sick , Heaven help me . Io. Haste ye sirrah , I must e'en make her drunk ; nay gentle Mother . Land. Now ●ie upon ye , was it for this purpose You fetch'd your Evening walks for your Devotions , For this pretended holiness ? no weather Not before day could hold ye from the Mattins . Were these your bo-peep Prayers ? y 'ave pray'd well , And with a learned Zeal watch'd well too ; your Saint It seems was pleas'd as well : Still sicker , sicker . Enter Peter with a Bottle of Wine . Io. There is no talking to her till I have drench'd her . Give me : Here Mother , take a good round draught , 'T will purge Spleen from your Spirits : deeper Mother . Land. I , I , Son ; you imagine this will mend all . Io. All , I faith Mother . Land. I confess the Wine Will do his part . Io. I 'll pledge ye . Land. But Son Iohn . Io. I know your meaning Mother ; touch it once more . Alas you look not well , take a round draught , It warms the blood well , and restores the colour , And then we 'll talk at large . Land. A civil Gentleman ? A stranger ? one the Town holds a good regard of ? Io. Nay I will silence thee there . Land. One that should weigh his fair name ? oh a Stitch ! Io. There 's nothing better for a stitch , good Mother , Make no spare of it as you love your health ; Mince not the matter . Land. As I said a Gentleman , Lodge in my House ? now Heaven 's my comfort Signior ! Io. I look'd for this . Land. I did not think you would have us'd me thus● A woman of my credit : one , heaven knows , That loves you but too tenderly . Io. Dear Mother , I ever found your kindness and acknowledg it . Land. No , no , I am a fool to counsel ye . Where 's the Infant ? Come , let 's see your workmanship . Io. None of mine Mother ; But there 't is , and a lusty one . Land. Heav'n bless thee , Thou hadst a hasty making ; but the best is , 'T is many a good man's fortune ; as I live , Your own eyes Signior ; and the nether Lip As like ye , as ye had spit it . Io. I am glad on 't . Land. Bless me , what things are these ? Io. I thought my labour Was not all lost , 't is Gold , and these are Jewels , Both rich , and right I hope . Land. Well , well , Son Iohn , I see y●'re a Wood man , and can chuse Yoar Deer , though it be i' th' dark , all your discretion Is not yet lost ; this was well clap'd aboard : Here I am with ye now , when as they say Your pleasure comes with pro●it ; when you must needs do , Do where you may be done to , 't is a wisdom Becomes a young man well : be sure of one thing , Lose not your Labour and your time together , It seasons of a Fool , Son , time is precious , Work wary whilst you have it : since you must traffick Sometimes this slippery way , take sure hold Signior , Trade with no broken Merchants , make your Lading , As you would make your rest , adventurously , But with advantage ever . Io. All this time , Mother , The Child wants looking to , wants meat and Nurses Land. Now blessing o' thy heart ; it shall have all , And instantly ; I 'l seek a Nurse my self , Son , 'T is a sweet Child : ah my young Spaniard , Take you no further care Sir. Io. Yes of these Jewels , I must by your good leave Mother : these are yours , To make your care the stronger : for the rest I 'l find a Master ; the gold for bringing up on 't I freely render to your charge . Land. No more words , Nor no more Children , ( good Son ) as you love me . This may do well . Io. I shall observe your Morals , But where 's Don Fredrick ( Mother ? ) Land. Ten to o●e About the like adventure : he told me He was to find you out . Exit . Io. Why should he stay thus ? There may be some ill chance in 't : Sleep I will not , Before I have found him : now this Woman 's pleas'd , I 'le seek my Friend out , and my care is eas'd . Exit

SCENE . X. Enter Duke and three Gentlemen . 1. Gen. Believe Sir , 't is as possible to do it , As to remove the City ; the main Faction , Swarm through the Streets like Hornets , and with angers Able to ruine States , no safety left us , Nor means to die like men , if instantly You draw not back again . Du. May he be drawn , And quarter'd too , that turn● now , were I surer Of death than thou art of thy fears , and with deaths More than those fears are too ! 1 Gen. Sir , I fear not . Du. I would not break my vow , start from my honor , Because I may find danger ; wound my Soul , To keep my body safe . 1 Gen. I speak not Sir● Out of a baseness to ye . Du. No , nor do not Out of a baseness leave me : what is danger More than the weakness of our apprehensions ? A poor cold part o' th' Blood ? who takes it hold of ? Cowards and wicked livers : valiant minds Were made the Masters of it , and as hearty Sea-men In desperate storms , stem with a little Rudder The tumbling ruins of the Ocean . So with their cause and Swords do they do dangers . Say we were sure to die all in this venture , As I am confident against it : is there any Amongst us of so fat a sense , so pamper'd Woul● chose luxuriously to ly abed , And purge away his Spirit , send his Soul out In Sugar-sops , and Syrops ? give me dying , As dying ought to be , upon mine enemy , Parting with mankind , by a man that 's manly : Let 'em be all the world ; and bring along Cain's Envy with 'em , I will on . 2 Gen. You may Sir , But with what safety ? 1 Gen. Since 't is come to dying , You shall perceive , Sir , that here be those amongst us Can die as decently as other men , And with as little Ceremony : On brave Sir. Du. That 's spoken heartily . 1 Gen. And he that flinches May he die louzy in a ditch . Du. No more dying , There 's no such danger in 't : What 's a clock ? 3 Gen. Somewhat above your hour . Du. Away then quickly , Make no noise , and no trouble w●ll attend us . Exeunt .

SCENE XI . Enter Frederick and Anthony with a Candle . Fre. Give me the Candle : So , go you out that way . An. What have we now to do ? Fre. And o' your life sirrah , Let none come near the door without my knowledge , No not my Landlady nor my Friend . An. 'T is done Sir. Fre. Nor any serious business that concerns me . An. Is the wind there again ? Fre. Be gone . An. I am Sir : Exit Fre. Now enter without fear — Enter 1. Constantia with a Iewel . And noble Lady That safety and civility ye wish'd for Shall truly here attend you : no rude tongue Nor rough behaviour knows this place , no wishes Beyond the moderation of a man , Dare enter here : your own desires and innocence , Joyn'd to my vow'd obedience , shall protect ye . Con. Ye are truly noble , And worth a womans trust : let it become me , ( I do beseech you Sir ) for all your kindness , To render with my thanks this worthless trifle ; I may be longer troublesome . Fre. Fair Offices Are still their own rewards : Heaven bless me Lady From selling civil courtesies : may it please ye If ye will force a favour to oblige me , Draw but that Cloud aside , to satisfie me For what good Angel I am engag'd . Con. It shall be . For I am truly confident ye are honest : The piece is scarce worth looking on . Fre. Trust me , The abstract of all beauty , soul of sweetness , Defend me honest thoughts , I shall grow wild else . What eyes are there , rather what little Heavens , To stir mens contemplations ? what a Paradise Runs through each part she has ? Good Blood be temperate : I must look off : too excellent an object Confounds the Sense that sees it . Noble Lady , If there be any further service to cast on me , Let it be worth my life , so much I honour ye , Or the engagement of whole Families . Con. Your service is too liberal , worthy Sir , Thus far I shall intreat . Fre. Command me Lady . You make your power too poor . Con. That presently With all convenient hast you would retire Unto the Street you found me in . Fre. 'T is done . Con. There if you find a Gentleman opprest With force and violence , do a mans office , And draw your Sword to rescue him . Fre. He 's safe . Be what he will , and let his Foes be Devils , Arm'd with your beauty , I shall conjure ' em . Retire , this Key will guide ye : all things necessary Are there before ye . Con. All my prayers go with ye , Exit . Fre. Ye clap on proof upon me : men say Gold Does all , engages all , works through all dangers : Now I say beauty can do more : The King's Exchequer , Nor all his wealthy Indies , could not draw me Through half those miseries this piece of pleasure Might make me leap into : we are all like Sea-Cards , All our endeavours and our motions , ( As they do to the North ) still point at beauty , Still at the fairest : for a handsom Woman , ( Setting my soul aside ) it should go hard , But I would strain my body : yet to her , Unless it be her own free gratitude , Hopes ye shall dye , and thou tongue rot within me , E're I infringe my faith : now to my rescue . Exit .

ACT II.

SCENE I. Enter Duke pursu'd by Petruchio , Antonio , and that Faction . Duke . YOu will not all oppress me ? An. Kill him i' th' wanton eye : Let me come to him . Duke . Then you shall buy me dearly . Petr. Say you so Sir ? An. I say cut his Wezand , spoil his peeping : Have at your love-sick heart Sir. Enter Don John. Io. Sure 't is fighting . My Friend may be engag'd : Fie Gentlemen , This is unmanly odds . Duke falls : Don Joh● bestrides him . An. I 'll stop your mouth Sir. Io. Nay then have at thee freely : There 's a Plumb Sir to satisfie your longing . Petr. Away : I hope I have sped him : here comes rescue● We shall be endanger'd : where 's Antonio ? An. I must have one thrust more Sir. Io. Come up to me . An. A mischief confound your fingers . Petr. How is it ? An. Well : ' Has given me my Quietus est ; I felt him In my small guts , I 'm sure ' has feez'd me : This comes of siding with you . 2 Gent. Can you go Sir ? An. I should go man , and my head were off , Never talk of going . Petr. Come , all shall be well then , Trampling within . I hear more rescue coming . Enter the Duke 's Faction . An. Let 's turn back then ; My scull's uncloven yet , let me but kill . Peter . Away for heaven's sake with him . Io. How is it ? Duke . Well , Sir , Only a little stagger'd . Du. Fact. Let 's pursue ' em . Duke . No not a man I charge ye : thank 's good Coat , Thou hast sav'd me a shrew'd welcome : 't was put home too , With a good mind I 'm sure on 't . Io. Are you safe then ? Duke . My thanks to you brave Sir , whose timely valour , And manly courtesie came to my rescue . Io. Ye had foul play offer'd ye , and shame befall him That can pass by oppression . Duke . May I crave Sir , But thus much honor more , to know your name ? And him I am so bound to ? Io. For the Bond Sir , 'T is every good man's tye : to know me further Will little profit ye ; I am a stranger , My Country Spain , my name Don Iohn , a Gentleman That came abroad to travell . Duke . I have heard Sir , Much worthy mention of ye , yet I find Fame short of what ye are . Io. You are pleased Sir , To express your Courtesie : may I demand As ●reely what you are , and what mischance Cast you into this danger ? Duke . For this present I must desire your pardon : you shall know me E●re it be long Sir , and a nobler thanks , Than now my Will can render . Io. Your Wil●'s your own Sir. Duke . What is 't you look for Sir , have you lost any thing● Io. Onely my hat i' th' Scuffle ; sure these fellows Were night-snaps . Duke . No , believe , Sir : pray use mine , For 't will be hard to find your own now . Io. No Sir. Duke . Indeed ye shall , I can command another : I do beseech you honor me . Io. Well Sir then I will , And so I 'll take my leave . Duke . Within these few daies I hope I shall be happy in your knowledge . Till when I love your memory . Exit cum suis. Io. I yours . Enter Frederick . This is some noble fellow . Fre. 'T is his Tongue sure . Don Iohn ? Io. Don Frederick ? Fre. Y' are fairly met Sir ? I thought ye had been a Bat-fowling : prethee tell me , What Revelations hast thou had to night , That home was never thought of ? Io. Revelations ? I 'll tell thee Frederick . But before I tell thee , Settle thy understanding . Fre. 'T is prepared Sir. Io. Why then mark what shall follow . This night Frederick , This bawdy night . Fre. I thought no less . Io. This blind night , What dost thou think I have got ? Fre. The Pox it may be . Io. Would 't were no worse : ye talk of Revelations , I have got a Revelation will reveal me An errant Coxcomb whil'st I live . Fre. What is 't ? Thou hast lost nothing ? Io. No , I have got I tell thee . Fre. What hast thou got ? Io. One of the Infantry , a Child . Fre. How ? Io. A chopping Child , man. Fre. Give you joy Sir. Io. A lump of lewdness Frederick that 's the truth on 't : This Town 's abominable . Fre. I still told ye Iohn Your whoring must come home ; I councell'd ye : But where no grace is — Io. 'T is none of mine , man. Fre. Answer the Parish so . Io. Cheated introth . Peeping into a house , by whom I know not , Nor where to find the place again : no Frederick 'T is no poor one , That 's my best comfort , for 't has brought about it Enough to make it man. Fre. Where is 't ? Io. At home . Fre. A saving Voyage : But what will you say Signior , To him that searching out your serious worship , Has met a stranger fortune ? Io. How good Frederick ? A militant Girle to this Boy would hit it . Fre. No mine 's a nobler venture : what do you think Sir Of a distressed Lady , one whose beauty Would over-sell all Italy ? Io. Where is she — Fre. A Woman of that rare behaviour , So qualify'd , as Admiration Dwells round about her : of that perfect Spirit — Io. I marry Sir. Fre. That admirable Carriage , That sweetness in discourse ; young as the Morning , Her blushes staining his . Io. But where 's this Creature ? Shew me but that . Fre. That 's all one she 's forth-coming , I have her sure Boy . Io. Heark ye Frederick , What truck betwixt my infant ? Fre. 'T is too light Sir , Stick to your charge good Don Iohn , I am well . Io. But is there such a Wench ? Fre. First tell me this , Did you not lately as you walk'd along , Discover People that were armed and likely To do offence ? Io. Yes marry , and they urg'd it As far as they had spirit . Fre. Pray go forward . Io. A Gentleman I found engag'd amongst 'em , It seems of noble breeding , I 'm sure brave mettal , As I return'd to look you I set in to him , And without hurt ( I thank Heaven ) rescu'd him , Fre. My work 's done then : And now to satisfie you there is a Woman , Oh Iohn , there is a Woman — Io. Oh where is she ? Fre. And one of no less worth than I told ye ; And which is more , faln under my protection . Io. I am glad of that ; forward sweet Frederick . Fre. And which is more than that , by this nights wandring , And which is most of all , she is at home too Sir. Io. Come let 's be gone then . Fre. Yes , but 't is most certain , You canot see her Iohn . Io. Why ? Fre. She has sworn me , That none else shall come near her : not my Mother Till some doubts are clear'd . Io. Not look upon her ? what Chamber is she in ? Fre. In ours . Io. Let 's go I say● A Woman's Oaths are wafers , break with making , They must for modesty a little : we all know it . Fre. No I 'll assure ye Sir. Io. Not see her ? I smell an old dog trick of yours , well Frederick , Ye talk'd to me of whoring , let 's have fair play , Square dealing I would wish ye . Fre. When 't is come ( Which I know never will be ) to that issue , Your Spoon shall be as deep as mine Sir. Io. Tell me , And tell me true , is the cause honourable ? Or for your ease ? Fre. By all our friendship , Iohn , 'T is honest and of great end . I am answer'd : But let me see her though : leave the door open As you go in . Fre. I dare not . Io. Not wide open , But just so , as a jealous Husband Would level at his wanton Wife through . Free. That courtesie , If ye desire no more , and keep it strictly , I dare afford ye : come , 't is now near Morning . Exeunt .

SCENE . II. Enter Peter and Anthony . Peter . Nay , the old Woman 's gone too . Anth. She 's a Catterwauling Amongst the Gutters ; but conceive me , Peter , Where our good Masters should be ? Peter . Where they should be , I do conceive , but where they are , good Anthony — Anth. I , there it goes : my Master's bo-peep with me , With his sly popping in and out again , Argu'd a Cause . Lute sounds . Hark . Peter . What ? Anth. Dost not hear a Lute ? Agen ? Peter . Where is 't ? Anth. Above , in my Master's Chamber . Peter . There 's no Creature : he hath the key himself man. Anth. This is his Lute : let him have it . Sing within a little . Peter . I grant ye ; but who strikes it ? Anth. An admirable Voyce too , hark ye . Peter . Anthony , Art sure we are at home ? Anth. Without all doubt Peter . Peter . Then this must be the Devil . Anth. Let it be . Good Devil sing again : O dainty Devil , Peter , believe it , a most delicate Devil , The sweetest Devil — ●nter Frederick and Don John. Fred. If you would leave peeping . Io. I cannot by no means . Fred. Then come in softly , And as you love your Faith , presume no further Than ye have promised . Io. Basco . Fred. What make you up so early Sir ? Io. You Sir , in your Contemplations . Peter . O pray ye peace Sir. Fred. Why peace Sir ? Peter . Do ye hear ? Io. 'T is your Lute . She 's playing on 't . Anth. The House is haunted Sir , For this we have heard this half year . Fred. Ye saw nothing ? Anth. Not I. Peter . Nor I Sir. Fred. Get you our Breakfast then , And make no words on 't ; we 'll undertake this Spirit , If it be one . Anth. This is no Devil Peter . Mum , there be Bats abroad . Exit ambo . Fred. Stay , now she sings . Io. An Angels Voyce I 'll swear . Pred . Why did'st thou sh●●g so ? Either allay this heat ; or as I live I will not tr●st ye . Io. Pass : I warrant ye . Ex●unt . Enter 1. Constantia . Const. To curse those Stars that men say govern us , To rail at Fortune , to fall out with my Fate , And tax the general World , will help me nothing : Alas , I am the same still , neither are they Subject to helps , or hurts ; our own desires Are our own Fates , and our own Stars , all our Fortunes , Which as we sway 'em , so abuse or bless us . Enter Frederick , and Don John Peeping . Fred. Peace to your Meditations Io. Pox upon ye . Stand out o' th' Light. Const. I crave your mercy Sir ; My mind o'r charg'd with care made me unmannerly . Fred. Pray ye set that mind at rest , all shall be perfect . Io. I like the Body rare ; a handsome Body , A wondrous handsome Body ; would she would turn : See , and that spightful puppy be not got Between me and my light again . Fred. 'T is done , As all that you command shall be : the Gentleman Is safely off all danger . Io. Rare Creature ! Const. How shall I thank ye Sir ? how satisfie ? Fred. Speak softly gentle Lady , all 's rewarded , Now does he melt like Marmalad . Io. Nay , 't is certain , Thou art the sweetest Woman that eyes e'r look'd on . Fred. None disturb'd ye ? Const. Not any Sir , nor any sound came near me , I thank your care . Fred. 'T is well . Io. I would fain pray now , But the Devil , and that Flesh there , o' th' World , What are we made to suffer ? Fred. He 'll enter ; Pull in your head and be hang'd . Io. Hark ye Frederick , I have brought you home your Pack-Saddle . Fred. Pox upon ye . Const. Nay , let him enter : fie my Lord the Duke , Stand peeping at your Friends . Fred. Ye are cozen'd Lady , Here is no Duke . Const. I know him full well Signior . Io. Hold thee there Wench . Fred. This mad-brain'd fool will spoyl all . Const. I do beseech your Grace come in . Io. My Grace , There was a Word of Comfort . Fred. Shall he enter , Who e'r he be ? Io. Well follow'd Frederick . Const. With all my heart . Enter Don John. Fred. Come in then . Io. Bless ye Lady . Fred. Nay , start not , though he be a Stranger to ye . He 's of a Noble strain , my Kinsman , Lady , My Country man , and Fellow-Traveller , One bed contains us ever , one purse feeds us , And one Faith free between us ; do not fear him , He 's truly honest . Io. That 's a lie . Fred. And trusty : Beyond your wishes : valiant to defend , And modest to converse with , as your blushes . Io. Now may I hang my self ; this commendation Has broke the neck of all my Hopes ; for now Must I cry , no forsooth , and I forsooth , and surely , And truly as I live , and as I am honest ' Has done these things for nonce too ; for he knows , Like a most envious Rascal as he is , I am not honest , This way : h 'as watch'd his time , But I shall quit him . Const. Sir , I credit ye . Fred. Go , salute her Iohn . Io. Plague o' your Commendations . Const. Sir , I shall now desire to be a trouble . Io. Never to me , sweet Lady ; thus I seal My Faith , and all my Service . Const. One word Signior . Io. Now 't is impossible I should be honest . What points she at ? my Leg I warrant , or My well-knit Body : sit fast Don Frederick . Fred. 'T was given him by that Gentleman You took such care of ; his own being lost i' th' Scuffle . Const. With much joy may he wear it : 't is a right one I can assure ye Gentlemen ; and right happy May he be in all fights for that Noble Service . Fred. Why do ye blush ? Const. 'T had almost cozened me , For not to lye , when I saw that , I look'd for Another owner of it ; but 't is well . Fred. Who 's there ? Knock within . Stand ye a little close : come in Sir. Enter Anthony . Now what 's the News with you ? Anth. There is a Gentleman without , Would speak with Don Iohn . Io. Who Sir ? Anth. I do not know Sir , but he shews a man Of no mean reckoning . Fred. Let him shew his Name , And then return a little wiser . Exit Anthony . Fred. How do you like her Iohn ? Io. As well as you Frederick , For all I am honest ; you shall find it too . Fred. Art thou not honest ? Io. Art thou an Ass ? And modest as her blushes ? What a blockhead Would e'r have popp'd out such a dry Apology , For his dear Friend ? and to a Gentlewoman , A Woman of her Youth , and Delicacy , They are Arguments to draw them to abhor us . An honest moral man ; 't is for a Constable : A handsome man , a wholesome man , a tough man , A liberal man , a likely man , a man Made up like Hercules , unslack'd with Service : The same to night , to morrow night , the next night , And so to perpetuity of pleasures , These had been things to hearken to , things catching ; But you have such a spiced consideration , Such Qualmes upon your Worship's Conscience , Such Chil●lains in your blood , that all things prick ye , Which Nature , and the liberal World makes Custom , And nothing but fair Honour , O sweet Honour , Hang up your Eunuch Honour : That I was trusty , And valiant , were things well put in ; but modest ! A modest Gentleman ! O wit where wast thou ? Fred. I am sorry Iohn . Io. My Lady's Gentlewoman Would laugh me to a School-boy , make me blush With playing with my Cod-piece-point : ●ie on thee , A man of thy discretion . Fred. It shall be mended ; And henceforth ye shall have your due . Enter Anthony . Io. I look for 't : how now , who is 't ? Anth. A Gentleman of this City , And calls himself Petruchio . Io. I 'll attend him . Enter Constantia . Const. How did he call himself ? Fred. Petruchio , Does it concern ye ought ? Const. O Gentlemen , The hour of my destruction is come on me , I am discover'd , lost , left to my ruine : As ever ye hay pity — Io. Do not fear , Let the great Devil come , he shall come through me : first Lost here , and we about ye ? Fred. Fall before us ? Const. O my unfortunate estate , all anger 's Compar'd to his , to his — Fred. Let his , and all mens , Whil'st we have power and life , stand up for Heavens s●ke● Const. I have offended Heaven too ; yet Heaven knows — Io. We are all evil : Yet Heaven forbid we should have our deserts . What is a ? Const. Too too near to my offence Sir : O he will cut me piece-meal● Fred. 'T is no Treason ? Io. Let it be what it will : if a cut here , I 'll find him cut-work . Fred. He must buy you dear , With more than common lives . Io. Fear nor , not weep not : By Heaven I 'll fire the Town before ye perish , And then the more the merrier , we 'll jog with ye . Fred. Come in , and dry your eyes . Io. Pray no more weeping : Spoyl a sweet Face for nothing ? my return Shall end all this I warrant ye . Const. Heaven grant it may . Exeunt .

SCENE . III. Enter Petruchio with a Letter . Petr. This man should be of Quality and worth By Don Alvaras Letter , for he gives No slight recommendations of him : I le e'en make use of him . Enter Don John. Io. Save ye Sir : I am sorry My business was so unmannerly , to make ye Wait thus long here . Petr. Occasions must be serv'd Sir : But is your name Don Iohn ? Io. It is Sir : Petr. Then , First for your own brave sake I must embrace ye : Next , for the credit of your noble Friend Hernanda de Alvara , make ye mine : Who lays his charge upon me in this Letter To look ye out , and Whil'st your occasions make you resident In this place , to supply ye , love and honor ye ; Which had I known sooner — Io. Noble Sir , You 'll make my thanks too poor : I wear a Sword Sir , And have a Service to be still dispos'd of As you shall please command it . Petr. That manly curtesie is half my business : Sir , And to be short , to make ye know I honor ye , And in all points believe your worth like Oracle , This day Petruchio , A man that may command the strength of this place , Hazard the boldest Spirits , hath made choice Only of you , and in a noble Office. Io. Forward , I am free to entertain it . Petr. Thus then : I do beseech ye mark me . Io. I shall Sir. Petr. Ferrara's Duke , would I might call him worthy , But that he has raz'd out from his Family , As he has mine with Infamy , This man , Rather this powerful Monster , we being left But two of all our House , to stock our Memoires , My Sister Constantia and my self ; with Arts and Witchcrafts , Vows , and such Oaths Heaven has no mercy for , Drew to dishonour this weak Maid , by stealth , And secret passages I knew not of , Oft he obtain'd his wishes , oft abus'd her , I am asham'd to say the rest : This purchas'd , And his hot blood allay'd , he left her , And all our Name to ruine . Io. This was foul play , And ought to be rewarded so . Petr. I hope so ; He scap'd me yesternight : Which if he dare again adventure for — Io. Pray Sir what Commands have you to lay on me ? Petr. Only thus ; by word of mouth to carry him A Challenge from me● that so ( if he have honor in him ) We may decide all difference between us . Io. Fair , and noble , And I will do it home : when shall I visit ●e ? Petr. Please you this afternoon . I will ●●de with ye ; For at a Castle six mile hence , we are sure To find him . Io. I 'll be ready . Petr. My man shall Wait here , to conduct ye to my House . Io. I shall not fail ye Sir. Exit Petruchio . Enter Frederick . Fred.

How now ?

Io.

All 's well , and better than thou could'st expect , for this Wench here is certainly no Maid ; and I have hopes she is the same that our two curious Coxcombs have been so long a hunting after .

Fred.

Why do ye hope so ?

Io.

Why ? because first she is no Maid , and next because she 's handsome ; there are two Reasons for you : now do you find out a third , a better if you can : For take this Frederick , for a certain Rule , since she loves the sport , she 'll never give it over . And therefore ( if we have good luck ) in time may fall to our shares .

Fred.

Very pretty Reasons indeed . But I thought you had known some particular that made you conclude this to be the Woman .

Io.

Yes , I know her name is Constantia .

Fred.

That now is something ; but I cannot believe her dishonest for all this : she has not one loose thought about her .

Io.

It 's no matter , she 's loose i' th' hilts by Heaven . There has been stirring , fumbling with Linnen , Frederick .

Fred.

There may be such a ●lip

Io.

And will be Frederick , whil'st the old Game 's afoot . I fear the Boy too will prove hers I took up .

Fred.

Good circumstance may cure all this yet .

Io.

There thou hit'st it Frederick , come let 's walk in , and comfort her ; that she is here is nothing yet suspected . Anon I shall tell thee why her Brother came , ( who by this light is a noble Fellow ) and what honor he has done to me , a Stranger , in calling me to serve him . There be ●rons heating for some on my word Frederick . Exeunt .

ACT III.

SCENE I. Enter Landlady and Anthony . Land. COme Sir , who is it keeps your Master Company ? Anth. I say to you , Don Iohn . Land. I say what woman ? Anth. I say so too . Land. I say again I will know . Anth. I say 't is fit you should . Land. And I tell thee he has a Woman here . Anth. I tell thee 't is then the better for him . Land. Was ever Gentlewoman So frumpt off with a Fool ? well sawcy Sirrah , I will know who it is , and to what purpose ; I pay the Rent , and I will know how my House Comes by these inflammations : if this geer hold , Best hang a sign-post up , to tell the Signior's , Here ye may have lewdness at livery . Enter Frederick . Anth. 'T would be a great ease to your age . Fred. How Now ? Why what 's the matter Landlady ? Land. What 's the matter ? Ye use me decently among ye , Gentlemen . Fred. Who has abus'd her , you Sir ? Land. Od's my witness I will not be thus treated , that I will not . Anth. I gave her no ill Language . Land. Thou liest lewdly . Thou took'st me up at every word I spoke , As I had been a Mawkin , a ●●irt Gillian ; And thou think'st , because thou canst write and read , Our Noses must be under thee . Fred. Dare you Sirrah ? Anth. Let but the Truth be known Sir , I beseech ye , She ra●es of Wenches , and I know not what Sir. Land. Go to , thou know'st too well , thou wicked Varlet , Thou Instrument of evil . Anth. As I live Sir , she 's ever thus till Dinner . Fred. Get ye in , I 'll answer you anon Sir. Exit Anthony . Now your grief , what is 't ? For I can guess — Land. Ye may , with shame enough , If there were shame amongst ye ; nothing thought on , But how ye may abuse my house : not satisfied With bringing home your Bastards to undo me , But you must drill your Whores here too ; my patience Because I bear , and bear , and carry all , And as they say ( am willing to groan under ) Must be your make-sport now . Fred. No more of these words , Nor no more murmurings Lady ; for you know That I know something . I did suspect your anger , But turn it presently and handsomly , And bear your self discreetly to this Woman , For such a one there is indeed . Land. 'T is well Son. Fred. Leave off your Devil's Matins , and your Melancholies , Or we shall leave our Lodgings . Land. You have m●ch need To use these vagrant ways , and to much profit : Ye had that might content ( At home within your selves too ) right good Gentlemen , Wholesome , and ye said handsome . But you Gallants , Beast that I was to believe ye — Fred. Leave your suspition : For as I live there 's no such thing . Land. Mine honor ; And ' tw●re not for mine honor . Fred. Come , your honor , Your house , and you too , if you dare believe me , Are well enough : Sleek up your self , leave crying , For I must have ye entertain this Lady With all civility , she well deserves it Together with all service : I dare trust ye , For I have found ye faithful : when you know her You will find your own fault ; no more words , but do it . Land. You know you may command me . Enter Don John. Io. Worshipful Lady , How does thy Velvet Scabbard ? by this hand Thou lookest most amiably : now could I willingly ( And 't were not for abusing thy Geneva print there , ) Venture my Body with thee . — Land. You 'll leave this ropery● When ye come to my years . Io. By this light , Thou art not above fifteen yet , a meer Girle , Thou hast not half thy teeth — Fre. Prethee Iohn Let her alone , she has been vext already : She 'l grow stark mad , man. Io. I wou'd fain see her mad , An old mad Woman — Fre. Prethee be patient . Io. Is like a Millers Mare troubled wi'th ' Tooth ache . She makes the rarest faces . Fre. Go , and do it , And do not mind this fellow . Exit Landlady and comes back again presently . Io. What , agen ! Nay , then it is decreed : though hills were set on hills , And Seas met Seas , to guard thee , I would through . Land.

Od's my witness , if ye ruffle me , I 'l spoil your sweet face for you , that I will. Go , go to the door there 's a Gentleman there would speak with ye .

Io.

Upon my life Petruchio ; good dear Landlady carry him into the dining-Room , and I 'll wait upon him presently .

Land. Well Don Iohn , the time will come that I shall be even with you . Exit Io. I must be gone : yet if my project hold , You shall not stay behind : I 'l rather trust A Cat with sweet milk Frederick ; by her face . Enter Constantia . I feel her fears are working . Con. Is there no way , I do beseech ye think yet , to divert This certain danger . Fre. 'T is impossible : Their Honors are engag'd . Con. Then there must be murder , Which Gentlemen , I shall no sooner hear of , Then make one in 't : you may , if you please Sir , Make all go less . Io. Lady , wer 't mine own cause , I could dispence : but loaden with my Friends trust , I must go on though general Massacrees As much I fear — Con. Do ye hear Sir ; for Heavens sake Let me request one favour of you . Fre. Yes any thing . Con. This Gentleman I find is too resolute , Too hot , and fiery for the cause , as ever You did a virtuous deed , for honor's sake Go with him and allay him , your fair temper And noble disposition , like wish'd showers , May quench those eating fires , that would spoil all else● I see in him destruction . I will do it . Fre. And 't is a wise consideration , To me a bounteous favour : Hark ye Iohn , I will go with ye . Io. No. Fre. Indeed I will , Ye go upon a hazard ; no denyal ; For as I live I 'll go : Io. Then make ye ready , For I am strait a Horse-back . Fre. My Sword on , and I am as ready as you● what my blest Labour , With all the art I have can work upon 'em , Be sure of , and expect fair end : the old Gentlewoman Shall wait upon ye , she is discreet and secret , Ye may trust her in all points . Con. Ye are noble ; And so I take my leave . Io. I hope Lady , a happy issue for all this● Const. All Heavens care upon ye , and my prayers . Io. So , Now my mind 's at rest . Fred. Away , 't is late Iohn . Exeun● .

SCENE II. Enter Antonio , Surgeon , and a Gentleman . Gent.

What Symptoms do ye find in him ?

Sur.

None , Sir , dangerous , if he 'd be rul'd .

Gent.

Why ! what does he do ?

Sur.

Nothing that he should . First , he will let no Liquor down but Wine , and then he has a fancy that he must be drest always to the Tune of Iohn Dory .

Gent.

How ? to the Tune of Iohn Dory ?

Sur.

Why ? he will have Fidlers , and make them play and sing it to him all the while .

Gent.

An odd fancy indeed .

Ant.

Give me some Wine .

S●r.

I told you so . — 'T is Death Sir.

Ant.

'T is a Horse Sir. Dost think I shall recover with the help o● Barley water only ?

Gent.

Fie , Antonio , you must be govern'd .

Ant.

Why Sir ? he feeds me with nothing but rotten Roots , and drown'd Chickens , stew'd Pericraniums and Pi●-maters , and when I go to bed , ( by Heaven 't is true Sir ) he rowls me up in lints with Labels at 'em , that I am just the man i' th' Almanack , my head and face is Aries place .

Sur.

Will 't please ye to let your Friends see you open'd ?

Ant.

Will 't please you , Sir , to give me a brimmer ? I feel my body open enough for that . Give it me , or I 'll die upon thy hand , and spoil thy custom .

Sur.

How , a brimmer ?

Ant.

Why look ye Sir , thus I am us'd still● I can get nothing that I want . In how long time canst thou cure me ?

Sur.

In forty days .

Ant. I 'll have a Dog shall lick me whole in twenty . In how long canst thou kill me ? Sur.

Presently .

Ant.

Do 't that 's the shorter , and there 's more delight in 't .

Gent.

You must have patience .

Ant.

Man I must have business ; this foolish Fellow hinders himself ; I have a dozen Rascals to hurt within these five days . Good Man-mender stop me up with Parsley like stuff'd Beef , and let me walk abroad .

Sur.

Ye shall walk shortly .

Ant.

I will walk presently Sir , and leave your Salads there , your green Salves and your Oyls , I 'll to my old dyet again , strong Food , and rich Wine , and try what that will do .

Sur.

Well , go thy ways , thou art the maddest old fellow I e'r yet met with . Exeunt .

SCENE III. Enter Constantia and Landlady . Const. I have told ye all I can , and more than yet Those Gentlemen know of me ; but are they Such strange Creatures say you ? Land. There 's the younger , Don Iohn , the errant'st Iack in all this City : The other , time has blasted , yet he will stoop , If not o'rflown , and freely on the Quarry ; H 'as been a Dragon in his days But Tarmont , Don Ienkin is the Devil himself , the dog-days , The most incomprehensible Whoremaster , Twenty a night is nothing ; the truth is , Whose chastity he chops upon , he cares not . He flies at all ; Bastards upon my conscience , He has now in making multitudes : The last night He brought home one ; I pity her that bore it , But we are all weak Vessels , some rich Woman ( For wise I dare not call her ) was the Mother , For it was hung with Jewels ; the bearing cloath No less than Crimson Velvet . Const. How ? Land. 'T is true Lady . Const. Was it a Boy too ? Land. A brave Boy ; deliberation And judgment shew'd in 's getting , as I 'll say for him , He 's as well pac'd for that sport — Const. May I see it ? For there is a Neighbour of mine , a Gentlewoman , Has had a late mischance , which willingly I would know further of ; now if you please To be so courteous to me . Land. Ye shall see it : But what do ye think of these men now ye know ' em ? Be wise , Ye may repent too late else ; I but tell ye For your own good , and as you will find it Lady . Const. I am advis'd . Land. No more words then ; do that , And instantly , I told ye of , be ready . Don Iohn , I ll fit ye for your frumps . Const. I shall be : But shall I see this Child ? Land. Within this half hour , Let 's in , and there think better . Exeunt

SCENE IV. Enter Petruchio , Don John , Frederick . Io. Sir , he is worth your knowledge , and a Gentleman ( If I that so much love him , may commend him ) That 's full of honor ; and one , if foul play Should fall upon us , ( for which fear I brought him ) Will not fly back for phillips . Petr. Ye much honor me , And once more I pronounce ye both mine . Fred. Stay , what Troop Is that below i' th' Valley there ? Io. Hawking I take it . Petr. They are so ; 't is the Duke , 't is even he Gentlemen , Sirrah , draw back the Horses till we call ye , I know him by his Company . Fred. I think too He bends up this way . Petr. So he does . Io. Stand you still , Within that covert , till I call : he comes Forward ; here will I wait him : to your places . Petr. I need no more instruct ye ? Io. Fear me not . Exit Petruchio and Frederick . Enter Duke and his Faction . Duke . Feed the Hawks up , We 'll fly no more to day : O my blest Fortune ! Have I so fairly met the man ? Io. Ye have Sir , And him ye know by this . Duke . Sir , all the honor , And love — Io. I do beseech your Grace stay there , and Dismiss your Train a little . Duke . Walk aside , And out of hearing I command ye : now Sir Be plain . Io. I will , and short ; Ye have wrong'd a Gentleman , beyond all Justice , Beyond the Mediation of all Friends . Duke . The man , and manner of wrong ? Io. Petruchio ; The wrong , ye have dishonour'd his Sister . Duke . Now stay you Sir , And hear me a little : This Gentleman's Sister that you nam'd , 't is true I have long lov'd , As true I have enjoy'd her : no less truth I have a Child by her . But that she , or he , Or any of that Family are tainted , Suffer disgrace , or ruine , by my pleasures , I wear a Sword to satisfie the World no , And him in this Cause when he pleases ; for know Sir , She is my Wife , contracted before Heaven , ( Witness I owe more tie to , than her Brother ) Nor will I fly from that Name , which long since Had had the Churches approbation , But for his Jealous Nature . Io. Your pardon Sir ; I am fully satisfi'd . Duke . Dear Sir , I knew I should convert ye ; had we But that rough man here now too — Io. And ye shall Sir. What hoa , hoo . Duke . I hope ye ●ave laid no Ambush ? Enter Petruchio . Io. Only Friends . Duke . My noble Brother welcome : Come put your anger off , we 'll have no fighting , Unless you will maintain I am unworthy To bear that Name . Petr. Do you speak this heartily ? Duke . Upon my Soul , and truly ; the first Priest Shall put you out of these doubts . Petr. Now I love ye ; And I beseech ye pardon my suspicions , You are now more than a Brother , a brave Friend too . Io. The good man 's over-joy'd . Enter Frederick . Fred. How now , how goes it ? Io. Why , the man has his Mare again , and all 's well : The Duke professes freely he 's her Husband . Fred. 'T is a good hearing . Io. Yes , for modest Gentlemen . I must present ye : May it please your Grace To number this brave Gentleman , my Friend , And noble Kinsman , amongst the rest of your Servants . Duke . O my brave Friend ! you shower your Bounties on me : Amongst my best thoughts Signior , in which number You being worthily dispos'd already● May freely place your Friend . Fred. Your Grace does me a great deal of honor . Petr. Why , this is wondrous happy : But now Brother , Now comes the bitter to our sweet : Constantia . Duke . Why , what of her ? Petr. Nor what● nor where do I know : Wing'd with her fears , last night , beyond my knowledge , She quit my house , but whither — Fred. Let not that — Duke . No more good Sir , I have heard too much . Petr. Nay sink not , She cannot be so lost . Io. Nor shall not Gentlemen ; Be free again , the Lady 's found ; that smile , Sir , Shews you distrust your Servant . Duke . I do beseech ye . Io. Ye shall believe me , by my Soul she 's safe . Duke . Heaven knows I would believe Sir. Fred. Ye may safely . Io. And under noble usage : this Gentleman , M●t her in all her Doubts last night , and to his Guard ( Her fears being strong upon her ) she gave her Person , Who waited on her , to our Lodging ; where all respect , Civil , and honest Service now attend her . Petr. Ye may believe now . Duke . Yes I do , and strongly ; Well , my good Friends , or rather my good Angels , For ye have both preserv'd me ; when these virtues Die in your Friends remembrance — Io. Good your Grace Lose no more time in Complements , 't is too precious , I know it by my self , there can be no Hell To his that hangs upon his hopes . Petr. He has hit it . Fred. To Horse again then , for this night I 'll crown With all the Joys ye wish for . Pe●r . Happy Gentlem●n . Enter Francisco , and a Man. Fran.

This is the maddest mischief , never Fool was so ●ub'd off as I am , made ridiculous , and to my self , to my own Ass ; trust a Woman , I 'll trust the Devil first , for he dares be better than his word sometimes . Pray tell me , in what observance have I e'r fail'd her ?

Man.

Nay , you can tell that best your self .

Fran.

Let me consider .

Enter Don Frederick and Don John. Fred.

Let them talk , we 'll go on before .

Fran.

Where did'st thou meet Constantia , and this Woman ?

Fred.

Constantia ! what are these Fellows ? Stay by all means .

Man.

Why Sir , I met her in the great Street that comes from the Market-place , just at the turning by a Gold-smith's Shop .

Fred.

Stand still Iohn .

Fran.

Well , Constantia has spun her self a fair thred now : what will her best Friend think of this ?

Fred.

Iohn , I smell some jugling , Iohn .

Io.

Yes , Frederick , I fear it will be prov'd so .

Fran.

But what should the reason be dost think of this so suddain change in her ?

Fred.

'T is she .

Man.

Why , truly I suspect she has been enti●'d to it by a Stranger .

Io.

Did you mark that Frederick ?

Fran.

Stranger ? who ?

Man.

A young Gentl●man that 's newly come to Town .

Fred.

Mark that too .

Io.

Yes Sir.

Fran.

Why do you think so ?

Man.

I heard her grave Conductress twattle something as they went along that makes me guess it .

Io.

'T is she Frederick .

Fred.

But who that he is Iohn .

Fran.

I do not doubt to bolt 'em out , for they must certainly be about the Town . Ha! no more words ; come , let 's be gone . Exeun● Fran. and Man.

Fred.

Well .

Io.

Very well .

Fred.

Discreetly .

Io.

Finely carri'd .

Fred.

Ye have no more of these Tricks ?

Io.

Ten to one Sir , I shall meet with 'em if ye have .

Fred.

Is this fair ?

Io.

Was it in you a Friends part to deal double ? I am no Ass Don Frederick .

Fred.

And , Don Iohn , It shall appear I am no Fool : Disgrace me to make your self thus every Woman's courtesie ; 't is boyish , 't is base .

Io.

'T is false : I privy to this Dog-trick ? Clear your self , for I know well enough where the wind sits , or as I have a life — Trample within .

Fred.

No more , they are coming , shew no discontent , let 's quietly away ; If she be at home our Jealousies are over , if not , you and I must have a farther parly Iohn .

Io.

Yes , Don Frederick , ye may be sure we shall : but where are these Fellows ? Pox on 't , we have lost them too in our Spleens , like Fools .

Enter Duke and Petruchio . Duke . Come Gentlemen , Let 's go a little faster ; Suppose you have all Mistresses , and mend Your pace accordingly . Io.

Sir , I should be as glad of a Mistress as an other man.

Fred.

Yes , o' my Conscience would'st thou , and of any other man's Mistress too ; that I 'll answer for . Exeunt .

SCENE . V. Enter Antonio and his Man. Ant.

With all my Gold ?

Man.

The Trunk broke open , and all gone .

Ant.

And the Mother in the Plot ?

Man.

And the mother and all .

Ant.

And the Devil and all : the mighty Pox go with 'em : belike they thought I was no more of this World , and those trifles would but disturb my Conscience .

Man.

Sure they thought , Sir , you wou'd not live to disturb them .

Ant.

Well , my sweet Mistress , I 'll try how handsomely your Ladiship can hang upon a pair of Gallows , there 's your Master-piece . No imagination where they should be ?

Man.

None Sir : yet we have search'd all places we suspected ; I believe they have taken towards the Port.

Ant.

Get me then a Water-Conjurer , one that can raise Water-Devils , I 'll port 'em , play at Duck and Drake with my money ? Get me a Conjurer I say , enquire out a man that lets out Devils .

Man.

I don't know where .

Ant.

In every Street Tom Fool , any blear-ey'd people with red heads , and flat noses can perform it . Thou shalt know 'em by their half gowns , and no breeches . Find me out a Conjurer● I say , and learn his price , how he will let his Divils out by the day . I 'll have 'em again if they be above Ground . Exeunt .

SCENE VI. Enter Duke , Petruchio , Frederick , and John. Petr.

Your Grace is welcome now to Naples ; so ye are all , Gentlem●n .

Io.

Don Frederick , will you step in , and give the Lady notice who comes to visit her ?

Petr.

Bid her make haste , we come to see no curious Wench , a night-gown will serve turn . Here 's one that knows her nearer .

Fred.

I 'll tell her what you say Sir. Exit .

Petr.

Now will the sport be to observe her alterations , how betwixt fear and joy she will behave her self .

Duke .

Dear Brother , I must entreat you —

Petr.

I conceive your mind Sir , I will not chide her .

Enter Frederick and Peter . Io.

How now ?

Fred.

You may Sir : not to abuse your patience longer , nor hold ye o●f with tedious circumstance ; for ye must know —

Petr.

What ?

Duke .

Where is she ?

Fred.

Gone Sir.

Duke .

How ?

Petr.

What did you say Sir ?

Fred.

Gone : by Heaven remov'd . The Woman of the house too .

Petr.

What , that reverend old Woman that tir'd me with Complements ?

Fred.

The very same .

Io.

Well , Don Frederick .

Fred.

Don Iohn , it is not well . But —

Petr.

Gone ?

Fred.

This Fellow can satisfie I lie not .

Peter .

A little after my Master was departed , Sir , with this Gentleman , my Fellow and my self being sent on business , as we must think on purpose .

Petr.

Hang these Circumstances , they always serve to usher in ill ends .

Io.

Now could I eat that Rogue , I am so angry . Gone ?

Petr.

Gone ?

Fred.

Directly gone , fled , shifted , what would you ha' me say ?

Duke .

Well , Gentlemen , wrong not my good opinion .

Fred.

For your Dukedom , Sir , I would not be a Knave .

Io.

He that is , a Rot run in his blood .

Petr.

But hark ye Gentlemen , are ye sure ye had her here ? Did ye not dream this ?

Io.

Have you your nose Sir ?

Petr.

Yes Sir.

Io.

Then we had her .

Petr.

Since ye are so short , believe your having her shall suffer more construction .

Io.

Well Sir , let it suffer .

Fred.

How to convince ye Sir , I can't imagine , but my life shall justifie my innocence , or fall with it .

Duke .

Thus then — for we may be all abus'd .

Petr.

'T is possible .

Duke .

Here let 's part until to morrow this time ; we to our way , to clear this doubt , and you to yours . Pawning our honors then to meet again ? when if she be not found —

Fred.

We stand engag'd to answer any worthy way we are call'd to .

Duke .

We ask no more .

Petr.

To morrow certain .

Io.

If we out-live this night Sir. Exit Duke and Petru.

Fred.

Come , Don Iohn , we have somewhat now to do .

Io.

I am sure I would have .

Fred.

If she be not found , we must fight .

Io.

I am glad on 't , I have not fought a great while .

Fred.

If we die —

Io.

There 's so much money sav'd in Lechery . Exeunt .

ACT IV.

SCENE I. Enter 2. Constantia and her Mother . Mo.

HOld Cons , hold , for goodness hold , I am in that desertion of Spirit for want of breath , that I am almost reduc'd to the necessity of not being able to defend my self against the inconvenience of a fall .

2. Const.

Dear Mother let us go a little faster to secure our selves from Antonio ; for my part I am in that terrible fright , that I can neither think , speak , nor stand still , till we are safe a Ship-board , and out of sight of the Shore .

Mo.

Out o● sight o' the Shore ? why , do ye think I 'll depatriate ?

2. Const.

Depatriate ? what 's that ?

Mo.

Why , ye Fool you , leave my Country : what will you never Iearn to speak out of the vulgar road ?

2. Const.

O Lord , this hard word will undo us .

Mo.

As I am a Christian , if it were to save my honour ( which is ten thousand times dearer to me than my life ) I would not be guilty of so odious a thought .

2 Con.

Pray Mother , since your honour is so dear to ye , consider that if we are taken , both it and we are lost for ever .

Mo.

Ay Girle , but what will the world say , if they should hear so odious a thing of us , as that we should depatriate ?

2 Con.

Ay , there 's it , the world ; why , Mother , the world does not care a pin if both you and I were hang'd ; and that we shall be certainly , if Antonio takes us , for running away with his Gold.

Mo.

Protest I care not , I 'll ne're depart from the demarches of a person of Quality ; and let come what will , I shall rather choose to submit my self to my fate , then strive to prevent it by any deportment that is not congruous in every degree to the steps and measures of a strict practitioner of honor .

2 Con.

Would not this make one stark mad ? Her stile is not more out of the way , then her manner of reasoning ; the first sells me to an ugly old fellow , then she runs away with me and all his gold , and now like a strict practitioner of honor , resolves to be taken , rather then depatriate , as she calls it .

Mo.

As I am a Christian , Cons , a Tavern , and a very decent Sign ; I 'l in I am resolv'd , though by it I should run a Risco of never so stupendious a Nature .

2 Con.

There 's no stopping her : what shall I do ?

Mo.

I 'l send for my Kins-Woman and some Musick , to revive me a little ; for really , Cons , I am reduc'd to that sad imbecility by the injury I have done my poor feet , that I 'm in a great incertitude whether they will have liveliness sufficient to support me up to the top of the stairs or no. Exit .

2 Con.

This sinning without pleas●re I cannot endure ; to have always a remorse , and ne'r do any thing that should cause it , is intolerable . If I lov'd mony too , which ( I think ) I don 't , my Mother she has all that ; I have nothing to comfort my self with but Antonio's stiff Beard , and that alone , for a Woman of my years , is but a sorry kind of entertainment . I wonder why these old fumbling fellows should trouble themselves so much , only to trouble us more . They can do nothing , but put us in mind of our graves . Well , I 'll no more on 't ; for to be frighted with Death and Damnation both at once is a little too hard . I do here vow I 'l live for ever chast , or find out some handsome young fellow I can love ; I think that 's the better ; Mother looks ou● at the Window●

Mo.

Come up , Cons , the Fiddles are here .

2 Con.

I come . — Mother goes from the Window , I must be gone , though whither I cannot tell ; these Fiddles , and her discreet Companions will quickly make an end of all she has stollen , and then 500 New Pieces sells me to another old fellow . She has taken care not to leave me a farthing ; yet I am so , better than under her conduct : 't will be at worst but begging for my life ;

And starving were to me an easier Fate Goes up to her Mother . Than to be forc'd to live with one I hate .

SCENE II. Enter Don John. Io.

It will not out of my head but that Don Frederick has sent away this Wench , for all-he carries it so gravely : yet methinks he should be honester than so ; but these grave men are never touch'd upon such occasions : mark it when ye will , and you 'll find a grave man , especially if he pretend to be a pre●●●e man , will do ye forty things without remorse , that would startle one of us mad Fellows to think of . Because they are familiar with Heaven in their prayers , they think they may be bold with it in any thing : now we that are not so well acquainted , bear greater Reverence . Musick plays above . What 's here , Musick and Women ? would I had one of `em . One of `em looks out at the Window . That 's a Whore ; I know it by her smile . O' my conscience take a Woman masked and hooded , nay covered all o're so that ye cannot see one bit of her , and at 12 score distance , if she be a whore as ten to one she is , I shall know it certainly ; I have an instinct within me never fails . Another looks out . Ah Rogue ! she 's right too I 'm sure on 't .

Mo.

above . Come , come let 's dance in t'other room , 't is a great deal better .

Io.

Say you so ? what now if I should go up and dance too ? It is a Tavern . Pox o' this business : I 'l in I am resolv'd , and try my own fortune ; 't is hard luck if I don't get one of ' em . As he goes to the door 2 Constantia enters● See , here 's one bolted already : fair Lady whither so fast ?

2. Con.

I don't know Sir.

Io.

May I have the honor to wait upon you ?

2 Con.

Yes , if you please Sir.

Io.

Whither ?

2 Con.

I tell ye I don't know .

Io.

She 's very quick . Would I might be so happy as to know you Lady

2. Const.

I dare not let you see my face Sir.

Io.

Why ?

2. Const.

For fear you should not like it , and then leave me , for to tell you true , I have at this present very great need of you .

Io.

If thou hast half so much need of me , as I have of thee Lady , I 'll be content to be hang'd though .

2. Const.

It 's a proper handsome Fellow this ; if he 'd but love me now , I would never seek out further . Sir , I am young , and unexperienced in the World.

Io.

Nay , if thou art young , it 's no great matter what thy face is .

2. Const.

Perhaps this freedom in me may seem strange ; but Sir , in short , I 'm forc'd to fly from one I hate , if I should meet him , will you here promise he shall not take me from you ?

Io.

Yes , that I will , before I see your face , your shape has charm'd me enough for that already ; if any one takes ye from me , Lady , I 'll give him leave to take from me too — ( I was a going to name 'em ) certain things of mine , that I would not lose , now I have you in my arms , for all the Gems in Christendom .

2. Const.

For Heaven's sake then conduct me to some place where I may be secured a while from the sight of any one whatsoever .

Io.

By all the hopes I have to find thy face as lovely as thy shape , I will.

2. Const.

Well Sir , I believe ye , for you have an honest look .

Io.

'Slid I am afraid Don Frederick has been giving her a character of me too . Come , pray unmasque .

2. Const.

Then turn away your face ; for I 'm resolv'd you shall not see a bit of mine till I have set it in order , and then —

Io.

What ?

2. Const.

I 'll strike you dead .

Io.

A mettled Whore , I warrant her ; come if she be now but young , and have but a nose on her face , she 'll be as good as her word : I 'm e'en panting for breath already .

2. Const.

Now stand your ground if you dare .

Io.

By this light a rare creature ! ten thousand times handsomer than her we seek for ! this can be sure no common one : pray Heaven she be a Whore.

2. Const.

Well Sir , what say ye now ?

Io.

Nothing ; I 'm so amaz'd I am not able to speak . I 'd best fall to presently , though it be in the Street , for fear of losing time . Prethee my dear sweet Creature go with me into that corner , that thou and I may talk a little in private .

2. Const.

No Sir , no private dealing I beseech you .

Io.

'S Heart , what shall I do ? I 'm out of my wits for her . Hark ye , my dear Soul , canst thou love me ?

2. Const.

If I could , what then ?

Io.

Why , you know what then , and then should I be the happiest man alive .

2. Const.

I , so you all say till you have your desires , and then you leave us .

Io.

But , my dear Heart , I am not made like other men ; I never can love heartily till I have —

2. Const.

Got their Maidenheads ; but suppose now I should be no Maid .

Io.

Prethee suppose me nothing , but let me try .

2. Const.

Nay , good Sir hold .

Io.

No Maid ? why , so much the better , thou art then the more experienc'd ; for my part I hate a bungler at any thing .

2. Const.

O dear , I like this Fellow strangely : hark ye Sir , I am not worth a groat , but though you should not be so neither , if you 'l but love me , I 'll follow ye all the World over ; I 'll work for ye , beg for you , do any thing for ye , so you 'll promise to do nothing with any body else .

Io.

O Heavens , I 'm in another World , this Wench sure was made a purpose for me , she is so just of my humour . My dear , 't is impossible for me to say how much I will do for thee , or with thee , thou sweet bewitching woman ; but let 's make haste home , or I shall never be able to hold out till I come thither . Exeunt .

SCENE III. Enter Frederick and Francisco . Fred.

And art thou sure it was Constantia , say'st thou that he was leading ?

Fran.

Am I sure I live Sir ? why , I dwelt in the house with her ; how can I chuse but know her ?

Fred.

But did'st thou see her face ?

Fran.

Lord Sir , I saw her face as plainly as I see yours just now , not two Streets off .

Fred.

Yes , 't is e'en so : I suspected it at first , but then he forswore it with that confidence — Well , Don Iohn , if these be your practices , you shall have no more a Friend of me , Sir , I assure you . Perhaps though he met her by chance , and intends to carry her to her Brother and the Duke .

Enter Don John , and Second Constantia . A little time will shew . — Gods so , here he is ; I 'll step behind this Shop , and observe what he say's . Io.

Here , now go in , and make me for ever happy .

Fred.

Dear Don Iohn .

Io.

A pox o' your kindness , how the Devil comes he here just at t●●s time ? Now will he ask me forty foolish Questions , and I have such a mind to this Wench , that I cannot think of one excuse for my life .

Fred.

Your Servant Sir : pray who 's that you lock'd in just now at that door ?

Io.

Why , a Friend of mine that 's gone up to read a Book .

Fred.

A Book ? that 's a queint one i'faith : prethee Don Iohn what Library hast thou been buying this Afternoon ? for i' th' Morning to my knowledge thou had'st never a Book there , except it were an Almanack , and that was none of thy own neither .

Io.

No , no , it 's a Book of his own he brought along with him . A Scholar that is given to reading .

Fred.

And do Scholars ( Don Iohn ) wear Petticoats now adays ?

Io.

Plague on him , he has seen her . — Well Don Frederick , thou know'st I am not good at lying , 't is a Woman I confess it , make your best on 't , what then ?

Fred.

Why then , Don Iohn , I desire you 'll be pleas'd to let me see her .

Io.

Why , faith Frederick , I should not be against the thing , but ye know a man must keep his word , and she has a mind to be private .

Fred.

But Iohn you may remember when I met a Lady so before , this very self same Lady too , that I got leave for you to see her Iohn .

Io.

Why , do ye think then that this here is Constantia ?

Fred.

I cannot properly say I think it Iohn , because I know it ; this Fellow here saw her as you led her i' th' Streets .

Io.

Well , and what then ? who does he say it is ?

Fred.

Ask him Sir , and he 'll tell ye .

Io.

Sweet heart , dost thou know this Lady ?

Fran.

I think I should Sir , I ha' liv'd long enough in the House with her to know her sure .

Io.

And how do they call her prethee ?

Fran.

Constantia .

Io.

How ! Constantia ?

Fran.

Yes Sir , the Woman's name is Constantia ; that 's flat .

Io.

Is it so Sir ? and so is this too . Strikes him .

Fran.

Oh , Oh. Runs out .

Io.

Now Sirrah , you may safely say you have not born false witness for nothing .

Fred.

Fie , Don Iohn why do you beat the poor Fellow for doing his Duty , and telling truth ?

Io.

Telling truth ? thou talk'st as if thou had'st been hir'd to bear false witness too : ye are a very fine Gentleman .

Fred.

What a strange confidence he has ? But is there no shame in thee ? nor no consideration of what is just or honest , to keep a Woman thus against her will , that thou know'st is in love with another man too ; do'st think a Judgment will not follow this ?

Io.

Good dear Frederick , do thou keep thy Sentences and thy Morals for some better opportunity , this here is not a fit Subject for 'em : I tell thee she is no more Constantia than thou art .

Fred.

Why won't you let me see her then ?

Io.

Because I can't : besides she is not for thy turn .

Fred.

How so ?

Io.

Why , thy Genius lies another way ; thou art for flames , and darts , and those fine things : now I am for the old plain down-right way ; I am not so curious Frederick as thou art .

Fred.

Very well Sir ; but is this worthy in you to endeavour to debauch —

Io.

But it there no shame ? but is this worthy ? what a many buts are here ? If I should tell thee now solemnly thou hast but one eye , and give thee reasons for it , would'st thou believe me ?

Fred.

I think hardly Sir , against my own knowledg .

Io.

Then why dost thou , with that grave face , go about to perswade me against mine ? You should do as you would be done by Frederick .

Fred.

And so I will Sir , in this very particular , since there 's no other remedy ; I shall do that for the Duke and Petruchio , which I should expect from them upon the like occasion : in short , to let you see I am as sensible of my honour , as you can be careless of yours ; I must tell ye Sir , that I 'm resolv'd to wait upon this Lady to them .

Io.

Are ye so Sir ? Why I must then , sweet Sir , tell you again , I am resolved you shan't . Ne'r stare , nor wonder , I have promis'd to preserve ner from the sight of any one whatsoever , and with the hazard of my life will make it good ; but that you may not think I mean an injury to Pe●ruchio , or the Duke , know Don Frederick , that though I love a Wench perhaps a little better , I hate to do a thing that 's base , as much as you do . Once more upon my honor this is not Constantia ; let that satisfie you .

Fred.

All that will not do . — Goes to the Door .

Io.

No ? why then this shall . ( Draws ) Come not one step nearer , ●or if thou do'st , by Heaven it is thy last .

Fred.

This is an insolence beyond the temper of a man to suffer ; — thus I throw off thy friendship , and since thy folly has provok'd my patience beyond its natural bounds , know it is not in thy power now to save thy self .

Io.

That 's to be try'd Sir , though by your favour . Looks up to the window . Mistress what you call 'em , — prethee look out now a little , and see how I 'll fight for thee .

Fred.

Come , Sir , are you ready ?

Io.

O Lord , Sir , your Servant . Fight .

SCENE IV. Enter Duke , and Petruchio . Petr.

What 's here fighting ? let 's part ' em . How ? Don Frederick against Don Iohn ? how came you to fall out , Gentlemen ? What 's the Cause ?

Fred.

Why Sir , it is your quarrel , and not mine , that drew this on me● I saw him lock Constantia up into that house , and I desir'd to wait upon her to you ; that 's the Cause .

Duke .

O , it may be he design'd to lay the obligation upon us himself . Sir , we are beholden to you for this favour , beyond all possibility of —

Io.

Pray , Sir , do not throw away your thanks before you know whether I have deserv'd 'em or no. O , is that your design ? Sir you must not go in there . Petruchio 's going to the Door .

Petr.

How , Sir , not go in ?

Io.

No Sir , most certainly not go in .

Petr.

She 's my Sister , and I will speak with her .

Io.

If she were your Mother Sir , you should not , though it were but to ask her blessing .

Petr.

Since you are so positive , I 'll try .

Io.

You Shall find me a man of my word Sir. Fight .

Duke .

Nay pray Gentlemen hold , let me compose this matter . ●hy do you make a scruple of letting us see Constantia ?

Io.

Why , Sir , 't would turn a man's head round to hear these Fellows talk so ; there is not one word true of all that he has said .

Duke .

Then you do not know where Constantia is ?

Io.

Not I , by Heavens .

Fred.

O monstrous Impudence ! upon my life Sir , I saw him shut her up into that house , and know his temper so , that if I had not stop'd him , I dare swear hy this time he would have ravish'd her .

Io.

Now that is two Lies : for first he did not see her , a●d next the Lady I led in is not to be ravish'd , she is so willing .

Duke .

But look ye Sir , this doubt may easily be clear'd ; let either Petruchio or I but see her , and if she be not Constantia , we engage our Honors ( though we should know her ) never to discover who she is .

Io.

I , but there 's the point now , that I can ne'r consent to .

Duke .

Why ?

Io.

Because I gave her my word to the contrary .

Duke .

And did you never break your word with a Woman ?

Io.

Never before I lay wi●h her ; and that 's the case now .

Petr.

Pish , I won't be kept off thus any longer : Sir , either let me enter , or I 'll force my way .

Fred.

No pray Sir , let that be my Office , I will be reveng'd on him for having betray'd me to his friendship .

Petruchio and Frederick offer to fight with John. Duke . Nay ye shall not offer him foul play neither . Hold Brother , pray a word ; and with you too Sir. Io.

Pox on 't , would they would make an end of this business , that I might be with her again . Hark ye Gentlemen , I 'll make ye a fair Proposition , leave off this Ceremony among your selves , and those dismal threats against me , phillip up cross or pile who shall begin first , and I 'll do the best I can to entertain ye all one after another .

Enter Antonio . Ant.

Now do my fingers itch to be about some bodies ears for the lo●s of my Gold. Ha! what 's here to do , Swords drawn ? I must make one , though it cost me the singing of ten Iohn Doryes more . Courage brave Boy , I 'll stand by thee as long as this Tool here lasts ; and it was once a good one .

Petr.

Who 's this ? Antonio ? O Sir , you are welcome , you shall be e'en Judge between us .

Ant.

No , no , no , not I Sir , I thank ye ; I 'll make work for others to judge of , I 'm resolv'd to fight .

P●tr .

But we wo'n't fight with you .

Ant.

Then put up your Swords , or by this hand I 'll lay about me .

Io.

Well said old Bilbo i'faith . They put up their Sword● .

Petr.

Pray hear us though : this Gentleman saw him lock up my Sister into that house , and he refuses to let us see her .

Ant.

How Friend ? Is this true ?

Io.

Nay good Sir , let not our friendship be broken before it is well made . Look ye Gentlemen , to shew ye that you are all mistaken , and that my formal Friend there is an Ass.

Fred.

I thank you Sir.

Io.

I 'll give my consent that this Gentleman here shall see her , if his information can satisfie you .

Duke .

Yes , yes ; he knows her very well .

Io.

Then Sir. go in here if you please ; I dare trust him with her , for he is too old to do her either good or harm .

Fred.

I wonder how my Gentleman will get off from all this .

Io.

I shall be even with you Sir another time for all your grinning .

Enter a Servant .

How now ? where is he ?

Ser.

He 's run out o' the back door Sir.

Io.

How so ?

Ser.

Why Sir , he 's ran after the Gentlewoman you brought in .

Io.

'S death , how durst you let her out ?

Ser.

Why Sir , I knew nothing .

Io.

No thou ignorant Rascal , and therefore I 'll beat something into thee . Beats him .

Fred.

What , you won't kill him ?

Io.

Nay come not near me , for if thou do●t by Heavens I 'll give thee as much ; and would do so however , but that I won't lose time from looking after my dear Sweet — a pox confound you all . Goes in and shuts the Door after him .

Duke .

What ? he has shut the Door .

Fred.

It 's no matter , I 'll lead you to a private backway by that corner , where we shall meet him . Ex●unt .

ACT V.

SCENE I. Enter Antonio 's Servant , Constables and Officers . Ser.

A Young Woman say'st thou and her Mother ?

Man.

Yes , just now come to the house . Not an hour ago .

Ser.

It must be they , here Friend , here 's money for you ; be sure you take 'em , and I 'll reward you better when you have done .

Const.

But Neighbour how — hup — shall I now — hup — know these these Parties ? for I would — hup — execute my Office — hup — like — hup — a sober Person .

Man.

That 's hard ; but you may easily know the Mother , for she is hup — drunk .

Const.

Nay — hup — if she be drunk , let — hup — me alone to maul her , for — hup — I abhor a Drunkard — hup — let it be man — Woman , or — hup — Child .

Man.

Ay Neighbour , one may see you hate drinking indeed .

Const.

Why Neighbour — hup — did you ever see me drunk ? answer me that Question : did you ever — hup — see me drunk ?

Man.

No , never , never : come away , here 's the house . Exeunt .

SCENE II. Enter 1. Constantia . 1. Const.

Oh , whither shall I run to hide my self ! The Constable has seiz'd the Landlady , and I 'm afraid the poor Child too . How to return to Don Frederick's house , I know not ; and if I knew , I durst not , after those things the Landlady has told me of him . If I get not from this drunken Rabble , I expose my honour ; and if I fall into my Brother's hands , I lose my life : you Powers above , look down and help me , I am faulty I confess , but greater faults have often met with lighter punishments : Then let not heavier yet on me be laid , Be what I will , I am still what you have made .

Enter Don John. Io.

I 'm almost dead with running , and will be so quite , but I will overtake her .

1. Const.

Hold Don Iohn , hold .

Io.

Who 's that ? Ha ? is it you my Dear ?

1. Const.

For Heaven's sake Sir , carry me from hence , or I 'm utterly undone .

Io.

Phoo pox● , this is th' other : now could I almost beat her , for but making me the Proposition : Madam , there are some a coming that will do it a great deal better ; but I am in such haste , that I vow to Gad Madam —

1. Const.

Nay pray Sir stay , you are concern'd in this as well as I ; for your Woman is taken .

Io.

Ha! my Woman ? Goes back to her .

I vow to Gad Madam , I do so highly honor your Ladyshp , that I would venture my life a thousand times to do you Service . But pray where is she ?

1. Const.

Why Sir , she is taken by the Constable .

Io.

Constable ! which way went he ? Rashly .

1. Const.

I cannot tell , for I run out into the Streets just as he had seiz'd upon your Landlady .

Io.

Plague o' my Landlady , I meant t'other Woman .

1. Const.

Other Woman Sir ! I have seen no other Woman never since I left your house .

Io.

'S heart , what have I been doing here then all this while ? Madam , your most humble —

1. Const.

Good Sir , be not so cruel , as to leave me in this distress .

Io.

No , no , no ; I 'm only going a little way , and will be back again presently .

1. Const.

But pray Sir hear me ; I 'm in that danger —

Io.

No , no , no , I vow to Gad Madam , no danger i' the World ; let me alone , I warrant you . Exit .

1. Const.

He 's gone , and I a lost wretched , miserable Creature , lost for ever .

Enter Antonio . Ant.

O , there she is .

1. Const.

Who 's this , Antonio ? the fiercest Enemy I have . Runs out .

Ant.

Are ye so nimble-footed Gentlewoman ? If I don't overtake you for all this , it shall go hard —

She 'll break my wind with a pox to her . A plague confound all Whores . Exit .

SCENE III. Enter Mother to the second Constantia , and Kinswoman . Kins .

But , Madam , be not so angry , perhaps s●e'll come again .

Mot.

O Kinswo●an , never speak of her more , for she s an odious Creature , to leave me thus i' th' lurch . I that have given her all her breeding , and instructed her with my own Principl●s of Education .

Kins .

Protest , Madam , I think she 's a Person that knows as much of all that as —

Mot.

Knows , Kinswoman ? There 's ne'r a Woman in Italy of thrice her years knows so much the procedures of a true gallantry , and the inf●llible Principles of an honourable friendship as she does .

Kins .

And therefore , Madam , you ought to love her .

Mot.

No , fie upon her , nothing at all , as I am a Christian : when once a Person fails in Fundamentals , she 's at a period with me . Besides , with all her wit , Constantia is but a Fool , and calls all the Meniarderies of a bonne mine , affectation .

Kins .

Indeed I must confess , she 's given a little too much to the careless way●

Mot.

Ay , there you have hit it Kinswoman , the careless way has quite undone her . Will ye believe me Kinswoman ? as I am a Christian , I never could make her do this , nor carry her body thus , but just when my eye was upon her ; as soon as ever my back was turn'd , whip , her elbows were quite out again : would not you strange now at this ?

Kins .

Bless me sweet goodness ! But , pray Madam , how came Constantia to fall out with your Ladiship ? Did she take any thing ill of you ?

Mot.

As I 'm a Christian I can't resolve you , unless it were that I led the dance first ; but for that she must excuse me , I know she dances well , but there are others who perhaps understand the right swim of it as well as she ; Enter Don Frederick . And though I love Constantia —

Fred.

How 's this ? Constantia ?

Mot.

I know no reason why I should be debarr'd the priviledge of shewing my own parts too sometimes .

Fred.

If I am not mistaken that other Woman is she Don Iohn and I were directed to , when we came first to Town , to bring us acquainted with Constantia . I 'll try to get some Intelligence from her . Pray Lady , have I never seen you before ?

Kins .

Yes Sir , I think you have , with another Stranger , a Friend of yours , one day as I was coming out of the Church .

Fred.

I 'm right then . And pray who were you talking of ?

Mot.

Why Sir , of an inconsiderate inconsiderable Person , that has at once both forfeited the honor of my concern , and the concern of her own honor .

Fred.

Very fine indeed . And is all this intended for the beautiful Constantia ?

Mot.

O fie upon her Sir , an odious Creature as I 'm a Christian , no Beauty at all .

Fred.

Why , does not your Ladiship think her handsome ?

Mot.

Seriously , Sir , I don't think she 's ugly , but as I 'm a Christian , my Position is ; That no true Beauty can be lodg'd in that Creature , who is not in some measure buoy'd up with a just sence of what is incumbent to the devoir of a Person of Quality .

Fred.

That Position , Madam , is a little severe , but however she has been incumbent formerly , as your Ladyship is pleas'd to say ; now that she 's marry'd , and her Husband owns the Child , she is sufficiently justifi'd for all she has done .

Mot.

Sir , I must blushingly beg leave to say you are there in an error . I know there has been passages of love between 'em , but with a temperament so innocent , and so refin'd , as it did impose a negative upon the very possibility of her being with Child .

Fred.

Sure she is not well acquainted with her . Pray Madam , how long have you known Constantia ?

Mot.

Long enough I think Sir ; for I had the good fortune , or rather the ill one , to help her first to the light of the World.

Fred.

Now cannot I discover by the fineness of this Dialect , whether she be the Mother or the Midwife : I had best ask t'other Woman .

Mot.

No Sir , I assure you , my Daughter Constantia has never had a Child : a Child ! ha , ha , ha ; O goodness save us , a Child !

Fred.

O then she is the Mother , and it seems is not inform'd of the matter . Well Madam , I shall not dispute this with you any further ; but give me leave to wait upon you to your Daughter ; for her Friend I assure ye is in great impatience to see her .

Mot.

Friend Sir ? I know none she has ; I 'm sure she loaths the very sight of him .

Fred.

Of whom ?

Mot.

Why , of Antonio Sir , he that you were pleas'd to say had got my Daughter with Child . Sir — ha — ha — ha —

Fred.

Still worse and worse ; ' Slife cannot she be content with not letting me understand her , but must also resolve obstinately not to understand me because I speak plain ? Why , Madam● I cannot express my self your way , therefore be not offended at me for it ; I tell you I do not know Antonio , nor never nam'd him to you : I told you that the Duke has own'd Constantia for his Wife , that her Brother and he are Friends , and are both now in search after her .

Mot.

Then as I 'm a Christian , I suspect we have both been equally involv'd in the misfortune of a mistake . Sir I am in the derniere confusion to avow that though my Daughter Constantia has been lyable to several addresses , yet she never has had the honour to be produc'd to his Grace .

Fred.

So then you put her to bed to —

Mo.

Antonio Sir , one whom my ebb of fortune forc'd me to enter into a negotiation with , in reference to my Daughter's Person ; but as I 'm a Christian with that candor in the action , as I was in no kind deny'd to be a witness of the thing .

Fred.

So , now the thing is out . This is a damn'd Bawd , and I as damn'd a Rogue for what I did to Don Iohn : for o' my conscience , this is that Constantia the Fellow told me of . I 'll make him amends what e'r it cost me . Lady , you must give me leave not to part with you , till you meet with your Daughter , for some reasons I shall tell you hereafter .

Mot.

Sir , I am so highly your Obligee for the manner of your Enquiries , and you have grounded your Determinations upon so just a Basis , that I shall not be asham'd to own my self a Votary to all your Commands . Exeunt .

SCENE IV. Enter second Constantia . 2. Const.

So , I 'm once more freed from Antonio ; but whither to go now , there 's the question ; nothing troubles me , but that he was sent up by that young Fellow , for I lik'd him with my Soul , would he had lik'd me so too .

Enter Don John , and a Shopkeeper . Io.

Which way went she ?

Shop .

Who ?

Io.

The Woman ?

Shop .

What Woman ?

Io.

Why , a young Woman , a handsome Woman , the handsomest Woman thou ever saw'st in thy life : speak quickly Sirrah , or thou shalt speak no more .

Shop .

Why , yonder 's a Woman : what a Devil ayls this Fellow ? Exit .

Io.

O my dear Soul , take pity o' me , and give me comfort , for I 'm e'en dead for want of thee●

2. Const.

O you 're a fine Gentleman indeed , to shut me up in your house , and send another man to me .

Io.

Pray hear me .

2. Const.

No , I will never hear you more after such an Injury , what would ye have done if I had been kind to ye , that could use me thus be●ore ?

Io.

By my tro●h that 's shrewdly urg'd .

2. Const.

Besides , you basely broke your word .

Io.

But will ye hear nothing ? nor did you hear nothing ? I had three men upon me at once , and had I not consented to let that old Fellow up , who came to my rescue , they had all broken in whether I would or no.

2. Const.

Faith it may be it was so , for I remember I heard a noise● but suppose it was not so , what then ? why then I 'll love him however . Hark ye Sir , I ought now to use you very scurvily , but I can't find in my heart to do it .

Io.

Then God's blessing on thy heart for it .

2. Const.

But a —

Io.

What ?

2. Const.

I would fain —

Io.

I , so would I : come let 's go .

2. Const.

I would fain know whether you can be kind to me .

Io.

That thou shalt presently ; come away .

2. Const.

And will you always ?

Io.

Always ? I can't say so ; but I will as often as I can .

2. Const.

Phoo ! I mean love me .

Io.

Well , I mean that too .

2. Const.

Swear then .

Io.

That I will upon my knees : what shall I say ?

2. Const.

Nay , use what words you please , so they be but hearty , and not those are spoken by the Priest , for that charm seldome proves fortunate .

Io.

I swear then by thy fair self , that look'st so like a Deity , and art the only thing I now can think of , that I 'll adore thee to my dying day .

2. Const.

And here I vow , the minute thou do'st leave me , I 'll leave the World , that 's kill my self .

Io.

O my dear heavenly Creature ! — Kisses her . That kiss now has almost put me into a swoon , for Heaven's sake let 's quickly out of the Streets for fear of another s●uffle . I durst encounter a whole Army for thy sake ; but yet methinks I had better try my courage another way ; what think'st thou ?

2. Const.

Well , well ; why don't you go then ? As they are going out ,

Enter 1. Constantia , and just then Antonio seizes upon her . Io.

Who 's this , my old new Friend has got there ?

Ant.

O have I caught you Gentlewoman at last ? Come , give me my Gold.

1. Const.

I hope he takes me for another , I won't answer , for I had rather he should take me for any one than who I am .

Io.

Pray Sir , who is that you have there by the hand ?

Ant.

A Person of Honor Sir , that has broke open my Trunks , and run away with all my Gold ; yet I 'll hold ten pound I 'll have it whip'd out of her again .

2. Const.

Done , I 'll hold you ten pounds of that now .

Ant.

Ha! by my troth you have reason ; and Lady I ask you pardon ; but I 'll have it whip'd out of you then Gossip .

Io.

Hold Sir , you must not meddle with my Goods .

Ant.

Your Goods ? how came she to be yours ? I 'm sure I bought her of her Mother , for five hundred good pieces in Gold , and she was abed with me all night too ; deny that if you dare .

2. Const.

Well , and what did you do when I was abed with you all night ? confess that if you dare .

Ant.

Umh , say you so ?

1. Const.

I 'll try if this Lady will help me , for I know not whither else to go .

Ant.

I shall be sham'd I see utterly except I make her hold her peace . Pray Sir by your leave ; I hope you will allow me the Speech of one word with your Goods here , as you call her ; 't is but a small request .

Io.

I Sir , with all my heart . How , Constantia ! Madam , now you have seen that Lady , I hope you will pardon the haste you met me in a little while ago ; if I committed a fault , you must thank her for it .

1. Const.

Sir , if you will for her sake , be perswaded to protect me from the violence of my Brother , I shall have reason to thank you both .

Io.

Nay Madam , now that I am in my wits again , and my heart 's at ease , it shall go very hard but I will see yours so too ; I was before distracted , and 't is not strange the love of her should hinder me from remembring what was due to you , since it made me forget my self .

1. Const.

Sir , I do know too well the power of Love , by my own experience , not to pardon all the effects of it in another .

Ant.

Well then , I promise you , if you will but help me to my Gold again , ( I mean that which you and your Mother stole out of my Trunk ) that I 'll never trouble you more .

2 Const.

A match ; and 't is the best that you and I could ever make .

Io.

Pray Madam fear nothing ; by my love I 'll stand by you , and see that your Brother shall do you no harm .

2. Const.

Hark ye Sir , a word ; how dare you talk of love , or standing by any Lady , but me Sir ?

Io.

By my troth that was a fault ; but I did not mean it your way , I meant it only civilly .

2. Const.

I , but if you are so very civil a Gentleman we shall not be long friends : I scorn to share your love with any one whatsoever ; and for my part , I 'm resolv'd either to have all or nothing .

Io.

Well my dear little Rogue , thou shalt have it all presently , as soon as we can but get rid of this Company .

2. Const.

Phoo , y' are always abusing me .

Enter Frederick and Mother . Fred.

Come , now Madam , let not us speak one word more , but go quietly about our business ; not but that I think it the greatest pleasure in the World to hear you talk , but —

Mot.

Do you indeed Sir ? I swear then good wits jump Sir ; for I have thought so my self a very great while .

Fred.

Yo 've all the reason imaginable . O , Don Iohn , I ask thy pardon ; but I hope I shall make thee amends , for I have found out the Mother , and she has promis'd me to help thee to thy Mistress again .

Io.

Sir , you may save your labour , the business is done , and I am fully satisfi'd .

Fred.

And dost thou know who she is ?

Io.

No faith , I never ask'd her name .

Fred.

Why , then , I 'll make thee yet more satisfi'd ; this Lady here is that very Constantia —

Io.

Ha! thou hast not a mind to be knock'd o●● the pate too , hast thou ?

Fred.

No Sir , nor dare you do it neither ; but for certain this is that very self same Constantia that thou and I so long look'd after .

Io.

I thought she was something more than ordinary ; but shall I t●ll thee now a stranger thing than all this ?

Fred.

What 's that ?

Io.

Why , I will never more touch any other Woman for her sake .

Fred.

Well , I submit ; that indeed is stranger .

2. Const.

Come Mother , deliver your Purse ; I have deliver'd my self up to this young Fellow , and the bargain 's made with that old Fellow , so he may have his Gold again , that all shall be well .

Mot.

As I 'm a Christian Sir , I took it away only to have the honour of restoring it again ; for my hard fate having not bestow'd upon me a Fund which might capacitate me to make you Presents of my own , I had no way left ●or the exercise of my generosity , but by putting my self into a condition of giving back what was yours .

Ant.

A very generous design indeed . So , now I 'll e'en turn a sober Person , and leave off this wen●hing , and this fighting , ●or I begin to find it does not agree with me .

Fred.

Madam , I 'm heartily glad to meet your Ladyship here ; we have been in a very great disorder since we saw you — What 's here , our Landlady and the Child again ?

Enter Duke , Petruchio , and Landlady with the Child . Petr.

Yes , we met her going to be whip'd , in a drunken Constables hands that took her for another .

Io.

Why , then , pray let her e'en be taken and whip'd for her self , for on my word she deserves it .

Land.

Yes , I 'm sure of your good word at any time .

1. Const.

Hark ye dear Landlady .

Land.

O sweet Goodness ! is it you ? I have been in such a peck of troubles since I saw you ; they took me , and they tumbled me , and they hall'd me , and they pull'd me , and they call'd me painted Iezebel , and the poor little Babe here did so take on . Come hither my Lord , come hither ; here is Constantia .

1. Const.

For Heaven's sake peace , yonder 's my Brother , and if he discovers me I 'm certainly ruin'd .

Duke .

No , Madam , there is no danger .

1. Const.

Were there a thousand dangers , in those Arms , I would run thus to meet them .

Duke .

O my Dear , it were not safe that any should be here at present , for now my heart is so o'erpress'd with joy , that I should scarce be able to defend thee .

Petr.

Sister , I 'm so asham'd of all the faults , which my mistake has made me guilty of , that I know not how to ask your pardon for them .

1. Const.

No , Brother , the fault was mine , in mistaking you so much , as not to impart the whole truth to you at first ; but having begun my love without your consent , I never durst acquaint you with the progress of it .

Duke .

Come , let the Consummation of our present joys , blot out the memory of all these past mistakes .

Io.

And when shall we consummate our Joys ?

2. Const.

Never ; We 'll find out ways shall make 'em last for ever .

Io.

Now see the odds 'twixt marry'd Folks and Friends : Our Love begins just where their Passion ends .

FINIS .