Integration Two Assignment -- Hicks 1 David Lassen Moreau First Year Experience 3 December 2021 Encountering Horizons as a Community and an Individual Some of the most important questions I’ve asked this semester can boil down to how to encounter relationships with others. How will I make the most of my Notre Dame experience in relation to others? And although I think many of these questions can not be perfectly answered right now, the things that we have discussed in this class help. For example, our week nine discussion helps address my previous question. When I first arrived at Notre Dame, I remember feeling overwhelmed and a bit intimidated by the intelligence here. I started to doubt my own abilities and definitely was experiencing forms of imposter syndrome. I remember feeling like everyone somehow got above average on every test, even though it’s statistically impossible, and that everyone had a clear plan. But I think it’s important to remember that, “This is a stressful and discouraging way to live. Remember that none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. We will disappoint people. We’ll disappoint ourselves. But the world doesn’t have to end when that happens” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Nine). I think that this is a really important insight because it shows the reality of life in an upfront way. We aren’t perfect and it’s unreasonable to say that we will always be perfect. And just as the quote touches on, I have failed and yet the world hasn’t crumbled down. But I think reminding ourselves of this reality is reassuring because it also shows that we aren’t alone. If we do our best, I think that is more than enough. We can’t do better than what we are physically and emotionally capable of doing, so it only makes sense that we should never expect more than that. Hicks 2 If everyone adopted the mindset that the quote invokes, I think people would be just as productive and accomplished, but more importantly a lot happier. In the future, I hope to stay reasonable as this quote and our discussion encouraged. I think it’s okay to set goals and to push myself, within reasonable limits. My goal is to keep asking myself, “What advice would my parents give me in this moment?” to which my parents have always told me, “Try your best but never at the sake of your health.” I think the second half of Moreau also helped show me what has changed in importance in my life. I think I’ve placed more value on connections with others, the value of conversation and how I view self-care. From our week 10 discussion, it became more clear that viewing self-care in a positive light is more important than I had previously thought. For me, I have always just chugged on through and did what needed to be done without stopping to think about myself sometimes, and I continued this mindset for the first few weeks. And I think that wear and tear just is not a reasonable expectation I should have for myself. But I’m learning to have that conviction that this reasoning is right, even when I know it is. And, “Without conviction, there would be no hope” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Ten). Conviction is the thing that is absolutely essential for us to do good in the world. It gives us the strength and perseverance to stick to our guiding principles and do what is right in the world. And without it, we would all suffer. We would doubt the world and ourselves more than ever, and the world would appear hopeless. I really liked this insight because it reminds me of the power that hope has. Without hope, I think the world would be a depressing place to live, especially since we would ask ourselves more than ever, “What is all of this for?” But in order to stay hopeful, we need conviction to stay on our path in life and know that it is leading us to a good place. If I look at the importance of self-care through the lens of Hicks 3 hopefulness and conviction, I think I will really more than ever start to see its importance. My goal is that in the future I will allow myself to take time for myself more often and not rush from place to place. I have started this goal by trying to take more trips to our dorm’s chapel just for a quick moment of silence in my day. Something before this semester began that was more simple that is now more complex is my faith beliefs. I think they changed mainly because I realized my role in the community at Notre Dame. In my English class here, we talked about how many people can still hold onto beliefs, even many people discredit them. Our professor talked about this more in terms of morally incorrect beliefs, like racism, but I think this in a way can be expanded to faith. I think in college, more than ever, my faith beliefs have been challenged. In high school, my religion classes were more about memorizing things for a test, but never really having deep thought. But through a Holy Cross education, I’ve learned that “Christians spread hope, and religious, like those in Holy Cross, have a special obligation to embolden others to pick up their crosses” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). When we come together as a Christian family and as a community, it becomes easier to share our collective cross, as well as our personal crosses. I think this quote struck me because it reminded me that not just the religious are called for holiness. It isn’t easy to handle our own crosses and struggles, let alone encourage others through their own processes, but we have that satisfying obligation to do just that. My faith beliefs need to be things I truly believe and not just what I accept right away. There’s a need to struggle through them and I think it’s natural to do so. For the future, I hope to live out my own calling in the lens of my faith, but also make sure that I know what my faith really is and means. I have set a goal to start paying closer attention to the homilies to accomplish this goal, because I can often zone out. Hicks 4 Lastly, something that was complex for me but now is simple is how I should go about “fitting in” with the Notre Dame community. Before coming here, I was worried I just wouldn’t make friends or that I would be too different. But after a semester, I’ve realized more of what a strong community boils down to. It isn’t about being friends with everyone and being loved by everyone to “fit in.” Strong community isn’t about intimacy with everyone because “when community is reduced to intimacy, our world shrinks to a vanishing point: with how many people can one be genuinely intimate in a lifetime?” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Community should not be equivalent in our minds with intimacy because it’s unreasonable to say that we will become intimate and deeply know everyone in a community. Strangers are found in a community, as well as the people closest in our lives. This range needs connectedness, not really intimacy. Instead, I think it’s best to look at a community through the lens of unity and connectedness. We are called to live in a community. And I think we need others for comfort, encouragement, support, feedback, and much more. I think we are able to be our best selves when we help others to do the same. We need community to extend to close friends, strangers, and also enemies. We achieve community through connectedness, and community is one of the greatest gifts that we can have. It much more simple now: I don’t need to be friends with 250 girls in my dorm, but I do need to be encouraging. My goal to do this is to always wave to people in the hallways and give them a smile. It’s simple but an easy way to start building community and showing how I fit into Ryan Hall. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23646/modules/items/107402 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23646/modules/items/107402 Hicks 5 https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_sou rce=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commenceme nt/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23646/files/190575?module_item_id=107412 http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23646/files/190575?module_item_id=107412 http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/