Robert Corrato
10/15/21
Moreau FYE
Taylor Kelly

Integrating Vicariously Through Myself

	Before coming to a school with extremely passionate and outright wonderful people, places, and things such as the University of Notre Dame, my further extensive thoughts about my reality, certain choices, and my past experiences weren’t necessarily the strongest. By this, I am trying to convey how I didn’t think enough about myself. I know, this sounds incredibly selfless, as if not every person in the world is secretly self centered, yet, coming from a school with the same people for roughly ten years, change wasn’t a big option for me. This self knowledge that my Moreau First Year Experience has taught me to elaborate on brought forth new ideas and new trains of thought to think about through my past and present experiences while either at home or at college. The combination of living far, far away from home (for me), on my own, while attending classes every day has allowed me to narrow myself out through much more self reflection than I ever had before. My “root beliefs” reflected in all of my Moreau weekly QQC’s and my even stronger growth in the personal belief in Catholicism has provided me with the necessary time to understand myself. Now, let me explain. 
	One of my first root beliefs is directly resulted from what college is all about, making those life-long lasting connections and friendships. I believe that I am searching for life-long relationships. I have been very fortunate to meet people such as my roommates and many other friends in the Gateway Program at Holy Cross College. I wrote my first QQC assignment on exactly this. Opening up is difficult, especially to those you met quite literally two weeks before going to school. As a part of my summer, many gateway kids on the east coast decided to connect along the Jersey Shore for a beach weekend, mostly for everyone to have a great time meeting some of  your friends that will be with you through thick and thin. That weekend, quite literally, defined exactly who I wanted to be with. This time meeting Peter O’Connor (roommate), Matt McManus, Liam Redmond, and Michael Manning allowed me to be extremely vulnerable about a situation I felt very uncomfortable to touch on with my friends from home. I opened up, and at first, I felt like the words of Brene Brown “vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). During this, I was going through an incredibly toxic point in my life. No, not toxic like a disease or chemical, but the relationship connotation. To keep it short, this girl treated me so poorly and I couldn't let go of “pure love”. Thank goodness I am so far away from her now, for the unfortunate event of stopping all contact with her happened and the distance only helps. These boys, who I haven’t known for a full semester, proved that they weren't  “a friend who uses you may treat you like a therapist but never ask about how you’re doing.”  (“5 Signs You Are In a Toxic Relationship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). Coming to the aid of someone you barely know is something that takes a lot of patience along with so much trust, trust I didn’t even have in some of the people I went to school with my whole life. I put my confidence in the University of Notre Dame to select the people who I will spend a majority of my life with, and I wouldn’t trade their decision for the world. 
	Being at the greatest Catholic university in the world, I was completely overtaken by the amount of actual catholicism practiced here. I am a Catholic, I grew up and was raised Catholic, but I went to an Episcopal school all my life. Going into the application process, I knew exactly what I was getting into and as of right now, it was exactly what I wanted to do. I believe that one of my purposes at ND is to grow my base with religion and gain experience talking to God. As said from the words of Father Pete, “The greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self-discovery. On this journey, success, productivity, and failure are an afterthought.” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Father Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week Three). Through my nineteen years on this Earth, these past two months have been by far the most diverse, compelling, and overall fun experience of my life. Consistently speaking to God, going to the grotto every night if I can, and attending mass in different halls every Sunday. My first time entering Moreau class in the Coleman Morse Center, I was completely overcome by the spirituality in that very building. My experiences in that building are going to push me to do some type of campus ministry, whether it's in my residence hall or not. Along with learning more and more about myself through Catholicism, learning about myself while being thrown into a new environment is just as important. Living on my own with no parietal constraint was something I was worried about before I arrived on campus the week of August 23rd. Growing up in an Italian household with strict rules about my academics and what I could and couldn’t do, being my own ruler wasn’t much of a challenge. Not only at Notre Dame, but all kids in college find themselves overdoing it, causing them to struggle in their classes. The students who do this make me question how they “not only build and grow while being true to your values”  ( Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy? - David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two) All this growth so many of my peers are making is just becoming drowned out on the weekends. 
There are times like this that I am so extremely thankful for my family. Having the good morals passed down from generation to generation in the Corrato/DiPrinzio family is something I am beyond grateful for. Words cannot describe how many times I was told to “not do this” or “not do that”. At times, I even felt shielded from some true realities of the world. I am not just realizing this, but it causes me to question if it was for the better. During our week “6” Moreau assignment, we had to write a similar work based off of the poem “Where I am From” by George Ella Lyon. The time I had to myself when I sat down and began writing reminded me of doing my homework in my grandparents house, next to them thiddliling away at the sewing machines. In my poem, I wrote, “The doorframe, cracked in sections, still holds together the crucifix above thee, the window above the fireplace still holds the same vases of shriveled plants I grew up staring at.” (Where I am From - Robert Corrato - Moreau FYE Week “6”) Something my parents were taught by my grandparents and so on was resilience. Being resilient is something that wasn’t taught, it was automatically expected. Coming from immigrant grandparents, who came to the United States with five dollars to their name, “held up” a family of three girls not knowing any English. That is what I qualify as resilience. As our roles change person to person in our family, I understand that my quality of resilience now is to try my best in school, never give up, follow your dreams, and be a just leader. 
Apart from resilience, being true to oneself and finding your truths of life is another core value that both my grandparents and parents taught me. Finding truth is something I define similarly to finding your passion, or your purpose in your life on earth. As of right now, my truth is to graduate from Notre Dame along with the tools I need to operate successfully in the adult world. In that world, I believe that I want to drastically diversify myself, learning as much as possible about other people and other cultures. Living amongst those who are similar to you is something that I’ve been doing all my life. The furthest I have been out of that zone in which I call home was during my sophomore year service trip to Haiti. Our partner school, St. Marc’s, is another Episcopal parish that provided me with a new sight I never expected to live through. During my week 7 Moreau QQC, I asked the question, “How can someone prevent “the buy-in” to differing cultures through the media?” (How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” - Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris, Scientific American - Robert Corrato - Moreau FYE Week “7”) The inventions of smartphones and computers that are able to compute and share media across the world in a blink of an eye. With this great power, it is important to not judge, while not implicating any harm to any being, something most would say proudly. During my time here, traveling for a semester abroad is going to be one of my greatest memories. It hasn’t happened yet, but I promise, I can sense it. 
The stories that will shape my journey are right in front of me waiting to be read. In the words of Father Sorin, “Man proposes but God disposes” (Father Sorin to Moreau - Father Sorin - Moreau FYE Week 5) Today, my proposal of life in South Bend, Indiana will become known to all who read this integration. Through only the willpower of myself, reflected on how I was taught and the people I meet, will I be able to flourish. Under God’s command and guidance, these four years will be the years I never want to end.