- Integration 2


Letting My Failures Guide Me To Success

My college has been both a gratifying and disheartening experience so far. From
adjusting to rigorous academic classes to finding my own social group, I have had to
make a lot of adjustments and adapt quickly to survive one of the hardest progressions
of my life, and it has only been one semester. Most specifically, my experience in my
Moreau first-year experience class has taught me more than I imagined it would when
I first heard I was taking an extra one-credit class that I would have to do weekly
assignments for. The majority of this knowledge and thoughtful experience that I have
gained can be attributed to my Moreau teacher as he is extremely good at his job and
actually shows that he cares about everyone in his class. However, while the most
interesting part of Moreau for me was class, I still learned quite a decent amount of
information through the learning modules provided to go along with every week of my
Moreau first experience classes. Now that my first semester is coming to an end, I can
describe how my experience in college, most specifically at the University of Notre
Dame, and how it has a�ected me and my way of thinking thus far in my young adult
life. Additionally, I can connect and transfer what I have learned, using these examples
of my experiences thus far at the University of Notre Dame, and construct a clear and
distinct connection between what I have been learning in my Moreau class both in and
out of my classroom. Furthermore, I am able to reflect and evaluate my progress in my
young adult life towards the prompts and listed learning goals and plans for the future
and how I have applied the things that I have learned. I will be elaborating on all of this
in this essay.

Before I arrived at the University of Notre Dame, I was adamant that I was going
to get a job my first semester on campus. I wanted a job for several reasons. Firstly, I
wanted money, obviously. I did not want to have to rely on my family members at
home to have to send me financial assistance every time I wanted to buy something or
I felt like there was something I needed. Aside from that fact, I have always worked. All
through my years of high school, even while playing three di�erent sports throughout
every season of the academic school year and being the president of the National
Honors Society, I had a part-time job consistently throughout the year. So, given my
history, I wanted the same for my college experience. I knew college was going to be
hard but I felt confident in my preparation that would allow me to multitask and
manage both responsibilities. Given the fact I was in all of the honors classes and AP



classes my school o�ered, I was sure that if I could manage a part-time job during
those times while playing three sports that I could at least work a few hours
throughout the week in college while managing no more than 6 classes. I was
undoubtedly wrong. Classes were much more than I thought they would be and proved
a di�cult task to manage. This result in me having to make a choice. I had to choose to
stray away from the comfort of being self-su�cient and not asking for help from my
family members that I have had since I turned 16. This was hard for me and it was even
harder accepting that I am not automatically able to adjust to things the way I wanted
to, especially academically. This took a toll on me for a while but eventually, I realized
this experience is only the beginning of my learning curve of life lessons, much like
this is only the beginning of my time at the University of Notre Dame.

During this time since I have been at the University of Notre Dame, this failed
experience at giving myself more than I can handle was only one of the many
experiences I was forced to analyze my life as I failed at things I had previously only
succeeded at. This relates to week 9 of our Moreau class. This week focused on
personal development to resiliency and imperfection, which was perfect for what I was
going through. In the material for the week, one particular quote from a specific video
stood out to me. “Since that first study, the same thing has been established across
gender, race, age, and a huge range of occupations, though it may be more prevalent
and disproportionately a�ect the experiences of underrepresented or disadvantaged
groups.” ("What is Imposter Syndrome?" (Elizabeth Cox, TED-Ed) - Moreau Week 9).
This video and quote made me realize how normal it was to fail and even succeed but
not feel as if it was deserved, especially for a person of color and minority like me. I felt
the need to get a job and prove my worthiness because I already felt as if I did not
belong and should work that much harder to prove my place. I was then able to relate
my development as a young adult to my own failures or imperfections, a skill I will
need as I pursue higher education after graduating from the University of Notre Dame
at the undergraduate level.

Another goal I was consistently failing at that was making my first semester that
much harder was finding the community on campus that was right for me. Because I
am not a catholic and am a minority in two ways, I found myself nervous and anxious
to approach the students around me who fit the part as the perfect student for this
university. I found myself unable to understand how to figure out my own path of
strengthening bonds of interconnection with others, especially in the midst of conflict

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/modules/items/109145


or dissimilarity, much like the focus question of our week 11 Moreau material. In this
material, I read a quote that stated “The most common connotation of the word
“community” in our culture is “intimacy,” but this is a trap. ” (“Thirteen Ways of
Looking at Community” (Parker J. Palmer, Center for Courage and Renewal) - Moreau
Week 11). This made me realize that I was reducing the capacity at which I could find
my community to my own culture and demographic. In order to truly embrace the
community I have access to around me, I had to be capacious enough to embrace
everything and everyone. After this, I was better able to acclimate to not only my large
campus community but to strangers I would talk to on my way to the dining hall. This
furthered my social skills and built my ability to adjust, which are fundamental life and
career skills.

Once I adjusted into the community, I wanted to better structure my life around
protecting and making an e�ort to build our community. Our Moreau week 10 focused
on being able to identify and respond to the challenges of the community. In this week
there was an article that touched upon the interconnectedness of religion and race.
The quote “Catholic social teaching demands that we teach students what racism is
and why and how to oppose it” ( “Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?”
(Christopher J. Devron, S.J., America Magazine) - Moreau Week 10) elaborates on the
ideas both socially and religiously that Notre Dame should promote. So, as a woman
and a person of color, I understand the University of Notre Dame’s climate socially can
be both toxic and intimidating. However, as a student at this school, even though I may
not be catholic, I know I have to make the e�ort to make it more enjoyable for all the
students that are just like me that will follow in my footsteps. This resilience and
determination to make an impact has guided me thus far through my life and will
continue to guide me morally while I take on a challenging career field, constructed for
the demographic that makes up the majority of this country.

While I am not Catholic I am able to say I identify with the standard publicized
Catholic ideas. I often find that I have many things in common with not only my
Catholic peers but also Catholic leaders, much like one of the authors from week 12 of
Moreau. My determination to socially reform my community and my society parallels
many Catholic leaders’ determination to believe in their god through questioning
times. “While neither of [the catholic leaders] beliefs [were] shaken by new discoveries
like the scientific theory of natural selection that caused others to doubt the very
existence of God, they each recognized the danger of the trend since the onset of

http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/modules/items/109192
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/modules/items/109192


Enlightenment to compartmentalize theology and rely solely upon human knowledge.”
(Text: “Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” pages 14 - 16 (Fr. James B. King,
C.S.C.) - Moreau Week 12) While I may not often understand the theories of religion
present in the Catholic faith, I know that many Catholics’ moral compass aligns with
mine despite its religious origin. Being able to understand and accept that is a
fundamental part of living in a diverse society and contributes to my accepting
mindset that will continue to guide my moral compass throughout the rest of my life.
This allows me to live and grow in hope for a better future for not only myself but for
the generations after me that are to come.

https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/modules/items/109281
https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23733/modules/items/109281