Final_Integration_PRUGH Maria Finan Moreau FYE - Section 82 April 29th, 2022 Reflection & Responsibility: Leading a Life Well-Lived Over the past year, I have begun a new chapter of my life. However, this transitory period has called for a great deal of reflection regarding what I’ve learned in the past and what I want my future to look like. The conversations that I’ve had with my peers, friends, loved ones, and mentors over the last several months have helped me to define what a life well-lived means for me moving forward. As I forge ahead through the next phase of my life, my mission is to construct a life that is intellectually fulfilling, prioritizes well-being, and is full of fruitful and rewarding relationships. I intend to avoid compromising any one of these goals for the others. In order to satisfy my goal of an intellectually fulfilling life, I will need to be honest with myself about where my passion lie. This goal will challenge me to construct a career path that aligns with my interests instead of the expectations of others. I also plan to build a career that leaves a lasting, positive impact. I want to be sure that I am using my life to contribute to something greater than myself. The prioritization of well-being will require building a habit of taking a step back and seeing the circumstances of my life from a wider perspective. A large piece of pursuing my intellectual and personal goals includes maintaining a lifestyle that keeps me well enough to be able to give energy and effort to the things I hope to accomplish. Finally, building rewarding relationships will also require a degree of widened perspective and accountability. One of the great joys of a life well-lived is the ability to engage in community and to build meaningful connections with other people, and I expect myself to embrace the opportunity to do so. As previously stated, the determination of how to best approach a life well-lived has required a great deal of self-reflection. It can be difficult to find time to allocate to reflecting on the state of one’s life, however, it is vital to the process of discerning a life path. As discussed at the beginning of the semester, “the point of sitting still is that it helps you see through the very idea of pushing forward (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One).” Taking this time to reflect actually allows us to live a more meaningful life, and it helps us to understand what we aim to change about ourselves or our circumstances. The first year at university has necessitated much time for pondering my life choices. From my major, to which opportunities were important for me to pursue, to how I wanted to best take advantage of the college experience, I have benefitted immensely from the time that I’ve spent reflecting over the past year. Another way to find encouragement to lead a well-lived life is to take inspiration from others. Being at Notre Dame has offered me many opportunities to learn from the people that I admire. I’ve met many professors and mentors who have given me much-needed guidance as to how to create a meaningful life. I’ve also found inspiration from figures of the past, including Father Hesburgh. “In my faith, you learn that there is meaning in suffering, but to truly understand that you have to first suffer yourself (“Hesburgh” produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week Two).” This quote, from the “Hesburgh” film, has helped me to navigate my life by emphasizing how positive aspects can be found in the worst of situations. This quote has helped me to view suffering and obstacles not as setbacks, but rather as opportunities to learn and grow. The advice of Sister Theresa Alethia Noble affected me in a similar way. As I have allocated a great deal of time to consider where my future may lead me, her statement that “… it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week Three)” has helped me to find motivation and purpose. Our time is very limited, but this makes it precious. When we look at situations and see the darkness of my life, this is simply an opportunity to seek out ways that we can contribute to bringing more light into the world around us. My first year of college has involved extensive reflection on where I would like my career to lead me. This process has been stressful and overwhelming at times, but I have found solace in the guidance that “there is no “best major” out there - but there is a “best major for you (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week Four).” A major turning point in my perspective has been realizing that there is no one way to live a life well-lived. There are so many ways to use one’s skills, interests, and passions to create a meaningful and impactful career, and purpose can be found in any career field. Of course, there are paths that may be more suited to my individual talents and values, but if I allow myself to pursue opportunities that I am gravitated toward, I will likely end up where I am meant to be. It has also been helpful to speak to the people who know me well about my career discernment journey. One conversation in particular that I had with my parents taught me about the importance of being sure to prioritize my own well-being and happiness as I make decisions about my future. My parents are passionate advocates for mental health and the prioritization of relationships and friendships, and they advised me that there is no singular formula for success (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” - Moreau FYE Week Five). This was helpful to me, as it can be easy to feel an obligation to pursue as many opportunities as possible and to work to be on par with my peers. However, at the end of the day, leading a life well-lived necessitates being able to continue this life in a healthy and sustainable way. Burnout and overextending oneself lower one’s ability to continue pursuing purpose and meaningful impact. Recently, a friend sent me a social media post in which a student detailed the advice of her professor. The professor discussed how most students in college feel a need, at least in a small way, to somehow try to save the world. However, the professor stated, “it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person is you.” Planning a life well-lived and following through on pursuing that life can present many challenges. Sometimes, we can stand in our own way as we try to find purpose and meaning. I’ve talked a lot about the importance of reflection in building a well-lived life, but at times it is important to take a step away from pondering. “Introspection can cloud and confuse our self-perceptions, unleashing a host of unintended consequences (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week Six).” This quote from the Moreau content is a reminder that as important as self-awareness is, it is crucial that we are able to bring ourselves back to reality. Getting caught in a cycle of self-criticism can have the opposite result of what is intended, and instead of becoming better from it, we can begin to feel hopeless and question our own value. In my Philosophy University Seminar, we’ve had many discussions about what it means to have a purpose as a human. We talked about how we often have a close association between our productivity and our value as human beings. The major takeaway of this conversation, for me, was that there is value in simply existing. Of course, being a productive member of society is helpful to the betterment of the world and is something that we should strive for, but our value cannot entirely be placed on being an ideal citizen. To return to my mission statement, it is important to me to live a life that is enriched by meaningful relationships with other people. One thing that I’ve learned over the past year has been the importance of community and the surprising ease with which we can embrace those around us. In “Tattoos on the Heart”, Fr. Greg Boyle states that “we have a chance, sometimes, to create a new jurisdiction, a place of astonishing mutuality whenever we close both eyes of judgment and open the other eye to pay attention (“Chapter 8: Jurisdiction” by Fr. Greg Boyle, S.J. - Moreau FYE Week Seven).” This quote is meaningful to me because it highlights how we are surrounded by the possibility of connection. At times, it can be easy to fall into isolation or to perpetuate a distance between ourselves and others, but, if we simply look for it, we will find that there are connections and mutuality to be found all around us. Building relationships, especially those that bridge divides or connect people from vastly different backgrounds, can be intimidating due to a fear of not being able to understand the other party. Another valuable lesson that I’ve learned in recent months is the tool of accompaniment. As said by Professor Steve Reifenberg, “the beauty of using accompaniment is in the blurring of the lines between us and them, doctor and patient, donor and recipient, expert and novice. Instead, we are partners, walking together, towards a better future (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Professor Steve Reifenberg - Moreau FYE Week Nine).” I’ve learned that accompaniment is the ability to help and support others without overstepping or overshadowing the other person’s needs. I think that it’s easy to fall to extremes when it comes to difficult situations. We can either shy away completely or assume too much authority over a situation. Accompaniment teaches us to build relationships through communication, to help when help is wanted, and to listen to the experiences of others. The act of building fruitful relationships rests heavily on embracing inclusion and opportunities to learn about people of all experiences, backgrounds, identities, and walks of life. As a straight, white woman, I’ve learned a lot over the past few years of my life about the importance of acknowledging my privilege. By listening to my friends, and peers, and by doing what I can to educate myself on social and political issues on my own, I have realized the advantages that my identity and position in life have offered me. Dr. Robin DiAngelo’s writing from “Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism” struck me as particularly meaningful as it articulated the situations, sometimes uncomfortable, that must be navigated in order to create a better world, and why these situations are uncomfortable in the first place. The article explained how “while individual whites may be against racism, they still benefit from the distribution of resources controlled by their group (“Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism” by Dr. Robin D’Angelo - Moreau FYE Week Ten).” In the less than diverse communities that I have been raised around, I’ve seen the “white fragility” that D’Angelo speaks of in his article, and how white communities react when ideas of meritocracy are called into question. As a person with a great deal of privilege, I understand how it is appealing to believe that the success I have attained is purely a result of my own hard work, but acknowledging that I have been advantaged by systemic and institutional discrimination is necessary and doesn’t discredit my hard work. It simply means that, while I have faced challenges, I have never had to face being discriminated against on the basis of race or sexuality. While working to build and strengthen relationships and communities, it is also important to avoid framing those with different perspectives as enemies. “Instead of hating the other side, instead of hating a random person who says they're Republican or says they're Democrat, they would say, hmm, is this a neighbor that I can convince to move in my direction? (“Passion Isn’t Enough” by Hidden Brain Media - Moreau FYE Week Eleven).” This quote is important because it highlights the importance of seeing interactions with people of opposing views as opportunities for discussion. We must avoid operating on the bases of hatred, and instead, we must approach these conversations as chances to share our understanding of issues and to listen to what the other person has to say. Bridging divides and lessening hatred also means taking action when necessary. In the content for one of the final weeks of Moreau, the writing of Dean G. Marcus Cole offered a call to action, saying that “each one of us can choose to finally end hate, by ending this separation. We must do something. This is something each one of us can do. (“Dean G. Marcy Cole: ‘I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do something.” by Marcus Cole - Moreau FYE Week Twelve).” From my perspective, the Dean’s message is meaningful because it emphasizes the ability of every person to make an impact on the world. Something that I’ve taken away from this year has been that we all end up leaving an impact on the world. However, it is up to us whether this impact is positive or negative. I will end with a piece from the University of Notre Dame’s own mission statement. “The aim is to create a sense of human solidarity and concern for the common good that will bear fruit as learning becomes service to justice (“University of Notre Dame Mission Statement” - Moreau FYE Week Thirteen).” As a first-year college student, there is much to be learned about what it means to lead a life well-lived, but I have already learned so much about the kind of person I want to be and about the responsibility that I bear. As I move forward through the next several years, I will take these lessons with me and continue to do my best to better myself and fulfill my goals.