Gordon 1 Mr. Oswald Moreau FYE 15 October 2021 Learning to Fail The past eight weeks of my life have been a whirlwind of new everything. New people, new food, new bed, new classes. This list could go on and on. With all this change along with the busy days of a college student, there has been little time to reflect. As the first half of my freshman year semester comes to a close, I realize that many of my previous beliefs have already been redefined or added onto due to experiences here at Notre Dame. Upon reflection, I have come up with four core beliefs. I believe that failure can lead to growth if approached with the right mindset. I believe that with a positive outlook, I have an easier time seeing the good in the world around me. I believe that it is important to have something to believe in. And lastly, I believe that hard work and happiness can and should coexist. College is a time to be a little selfish. It is an opportunity to truly invest time in discovering who I am and where I am heading. While it is frightening and won’t be easy, the outcome will be worth it. I am a big believer in the phrase “you get out, what you put in.” My favorite quote was said by Michael Jordan and is as follows, “Some people want it to happen. Some wish it would happen. Others make it happen.” Making it happen will take courage and vulnerability, but through them I hope to truly find myself. Already I feel like an entirely different person in college, and it is refreshing. Nobody knows who I was before, so it is a chance to experiment and find out who I could be. One of my most proud moments so far at Notre Dame is the shock on my friends face when I told her I was the super quiet, reserved girl in high school. It has taken a lot to try and step out of my comfort zone, but it is starting to become more and more effortless and enjoyable! Brene Brown said in her “Power of Vulnerability” video, “You can’t selectively numb emotions,” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown- Moreau FYE Week 1). This quote was somewhat of a realization for me. One can’t understand and appreciate joy if you haven’t experienced hardship. So, if you choose to numb https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be Gordon 2 yourself to hardship, joy is unattainable. I know college will not always be easy, but the hard times and failure will only make the high times that much better. Throughout my four years here I know I will spend a lot of time growing as an individual and searching for self-knowledge. Mr. Brooks speaks to this fact when he talks about the difference between building your eulogy virtues and resume virtues, (“Should you Live for your Resume or your Eulogy” by David Brooks- Moreau FYE Week 2). He, however, mostly emphasizes the importance of building eulogy virtues. I disagree with him because I believe that eulogy and resume virtues are equally important. Building resume virtues like hard work give you the ability to support your family and help others one day. One thing I have learned in my search for self-knowledge thus far at Notre Dame is that the generic quote, “Hard work pays off,” needs to slightly modified to say eventually pays off. It is not an immediate return. In high school, I never failed. At Notre Dame, I have performed poorly in races, got my first bad grade on an exam, and been challenged mentally because the grind never stops. This first semester has been a crash course lesson on learning to fail. And I could have given in. But I believe that failure can lead to growth if approached with the right mindset. It is less about the immediate gratification of crossing the finish line in first or getting an A on an exam, and more about where these experiences will lead me. My outlook on faith is much different than most people here at Notre Dame, but I have had numerous positive conversations with classmates and teammates about my beliefs. Professor Fagerburg says in his text, “When my spiritual lighting changes, what I can spiritually see changes,” ("Faith Brings Light to a Dark World" by David Fagerberg- Moreau FYE Week 3). For me, the “lighting” is really all about outlook on life because as I mentioned above, I believe that with a positive outlook, I have an easier time seeing the good in the world around me. This is a huge part of what my personal faith is all about. And another huge piece of my personal faith is summed up in Carla Harris’s speech to the graduating class of 2021 when she says, “Time is the most important asset we have,” ("2021 Laetare Medalist Address" by Carla Harris- Moreau Week 5). I was not raised in a catholic household, so I have never had that foundation, but I still believe that it is important to have something to believe in. I choose to place my faith in the world around me and the present moment. Time is the one thing that we can’t get more of and the one thing that we truly don’t know how much of it we have. It was not until I arrived here that I feel I have finally https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 Gordon 3 started to fully embrace this mindset because I realized something when talking to a friend of mine that is a senior. She was talking about how fast she feels her time went here and she wishes she would have stopped to enjoy it more, but then she went on to talk about how stressed she is because she needs to find the perfect job. Upon further reflection, I realized she is trapped in the cycle that most of America is in. Always thinking about the next big thing they need to work towards, but where is the end. First you are told to work hard in high school, so that you get into a good college. Then work all college to get a good paying job. Then work the job, to move up to an even higher paying job. And just keep going because one day you will make it to retirement, which is when you can finally enjoy life. This is not how I want to live, and I don’t believe that this is the only way. I believe that hard work and happiness can and should coexist. I made the mistake of working my way through high school without ever stopping to enjoy and reflect on all the cool things I was doing. I won’t do that in college and I have already found little things I enjoy doing on the weekends to help myself find balance. For example, I live by the lakes and will go journaling at a picnic bench on Saturday mornings! The other thing about time is that it does not discriminate. It doesn’t take into consideration society's stereotypes or prejudices and there is something to learn from that. In Adichie’s TED talk about single stories she says, “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but they are incomplete,” ("The Danger of a Single Story" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie- Moreau Week 7). I grew up in the suburbs of Pennsylvania in a mostly white middle class town. Here at Notre Dame is the first time I have truly encountered this many people from significantly different backgrounds. It has been wonderful, yet frightening because I am realizing through each conversation, how sheltered the world I lived in before was. These experiences have helped me to break stereotypes that I didn’t even know were in my head. As I mentioned before, one of my favorite weekend activities is journaling by the lakes. I fell in love with journaling over the past year and I believe that it is a great way to work through the constant flow of thoughts in your mind, while also recording your stories. Stories and experiences play a huge role in shaping every individual's perspective and uniqueness. Thus, the best way to get to know someone is by asking them about their stories. A good indicator for me of a life-giving relationship, is when you both want to hear the stories of the other person and are truly engaged during the telling of the tales. Personally, I have used this indicator along with gut https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story/up-next Gordon 4 feeling to form strong relationships. When reading through signs of a toxic relationships, I can fortunately say that I have never experienced any of them, ("5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship" by Olivia Taylor- Moreau FYE Week 4). My goal is to end my time here at Notre Dame with the ability to make the same statement, but while also having formed lifelong relationships. My other goal for when my time at Notre Dame is up, is to have plenty to add to my, “Where I am From” poem, ("Where I am From" by George Ella Lyon- Moreau FYE Week 6). In my poem, I found myself focusing on three broad topics that defined where I am from. They included the physical places, the icons of those places, and the people from each place. If these first few weeks are any indicator of the rate at which I will grow personally over the next four years, I cannot wait to meet the future me. To hear how my current beliefs will once again be altered, but more importantly I will hope to hear about all the times that the future me just stopped to take it all in. https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html