Microsoft Word - Capstone III integration final


How I Have Grown in my First Year under the Dome 

Within the last year of my life, I have grown immeasurably. I feel much more 

independent, confident in my abilities, and hopeful about what my future contains. In addition, I 

have learned invaluable lessons about the realities of life and success. I am much more aware of 

the fact that every individual has personal issues that they struggle with, and that I have some of 

my own that I need to explore, as well. I have understood that success and happiness are 

unattainable without a reliable, trustworthy support system, and would thus like to begin the 

introduction of my refined personal statement by quoting from my favorite excerpt in the entirety 

of this course. 

“Close both eyes; see with the other one… We are no longer saddled by the burden of 

our… constant exclusion. Our sphere has widened, and we find ourselves, quite unexpectedly, in 

a new, expansive location, in a place of endless acceptance and infinite love” (Tattoos on the 

Heart by Fr. Greg Boyle – Moreau FYE Week Eight). As I was reviewing my mission statement 

before beginning this assignment, I discovered that I had forgotten a cornerstone of my character, 

and my true goals and dreams in this life: compassion. Although I may not have as strong of an 

influence on other’s lives as Father Gregory Boyle—whose life’s work has been to reduce the 

violent hatred between different gang members in the gang capital of the United States (Los 

Angeles)—I hope to at least have the opportunity to encourage others in pursuing their dreams, 

hopes, and efforts to live out their own personal mission statements.  

And so, my refined and reflected-on personal mission statement (with edits in bold): 

I understand that, as a human being, I will make mistakes, I will fail, and I will sometimes take 

one step forward, just to take two back.  



 

I also understand that, as a human being, I will make progress, I will grow, and I will constantly 

be discovering something new about myself, about others, about the world!  

 

Thus, in my personal mission statement, I do not want to make ultimate decisions for myself. I 

do not know who I will be in 20 years. I know nothing about myself, except for who I am in the 

present moment.  

 

Therefore, the most accurate, most realistic, and least jaded personal mission statement I can 

make is to strive to improve—not fix—one blemish I find in my character each day.  

 

If I can analyze my weaknesses, I will discover my strengths. If I can apply my strengths, I can 

improve my weaknesses.  

 

Thus, I strengthen myself in the most well-rounded way possible. I utilize my fortitudes to 

stabilize my flaws.  

 

Every day, I will strive to extend one limitation. I will push myself to my limits, to stretch them 

even further.  

 

I will also continue to apply my strengths, while making an effort to ameliorate my flaws. I 

know that one of my fiercest, most powerful strengths is my capability to be an 

understanding, compassionate, and empathetic individual.  



 

While I pursue this goal, I will also forgive myself for my failures and be compassionate 

towards myself on days when I struggle to be the best possible version of myself. 

 

Thus, I will live to learn, grow, and develop while continuing to be a compassionate, capable 

human being.  

 

And while I pursue my own personal mission, I will support and encourage others who 

strive to do the same, knowing that I need this support system, too. 

 

By following this mission, I can trust one fact: I may not know who I will be tomorrow, or in a 

week, or in a year. But I know who I will strive to be today. (My Mission Statement – Moreau 

FYE Week 13). 

 

Throughout this year, and especially throughout this semester, I have learned that no 

individual is capable of succeeding by themselves. Everybody requires a support system, and 

without it, he or she cannot flourish in their journey to achieve their fullest potential. During a 

conversation with my mother, she explained to me, “You need to learn to accept help from 

other people, because we all rely on each other for help. The ability to accept help is not a 

manifestation of weakness, but a manifestation of strength” (Quote by Mom – Moreau FYE 

Week Five). Thus, another edit I made to my personal mission statement is to acknowledge the 

fact that I need my own team of people who will encourage me, guide me, and love me as I 

pursue my goals. Throughout this year, I have found incredible individuals that I am lucky to 



call my friends and have had the honor of supporting them through difficult decisions such as 

the discernment of a major. I have been encouraged by them as well; they cheered for me 

while I competed at NCAA championships, they comforted me when I struggled with my 

ADHD diagnosis, and they encouraged me when I picked myself up after a failure in order to 

try again. “One cannot accompany without being accompanied, in the same way someone 

cannot be a good friend without being open to friendship. This requires a great deal of 

humility. Not only is it important to walk together with somebody, but one must also learn how 

to be accompanied – to participate in the reciprocity of accompaniment” (“Teaching 

Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenberg – Moreau FYE Week 

Nine). I was able to accompany my friends on their journey of progress, and because I stayed 

with them, they stayed with me, too. I now understand that my openness to accepting help 

allows me to gain the support system I need, and also allows others to share their own 

experiences more comfortably which gives me the knowledge about them that I need in order 

to successfully support them: a cycle of reciprocity. I know that, throughout these next three 

years of my college career, and for the rest of my life, I will treasure these friends and the 

support system with which they have blessed me.  

Another extremely important piece of knowledge—scientific fact, actually—that I have 

gained this year is the power of resting and recharging. If I want to push myself to the limits, I 

need to maintain an awareness that I do have boundaries. Some activities for rest and relaxation 

that I have tried have been from Moreau, in fact! One of my favorites has been meditation, which 

is ironic because I am an extremely fidgety person who has difficulty slowing down her thoughts 

for more than about 30 seconds. However, as I read in an article from one of our classes in 

Moreau, this is the rule I need to remember: “Don’t try to force meditation, and don’t make it 



complicated. Simplify it” (“5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr – Moreau FYE Week Six). Willingly 

sitting still and pondering over difficult decisions or just daydreaming on a consistent basis 

seemed torturous, at first, but I now realize the impact that just five minutes of silent thinking 

can make. It has allowed me to find clarity in my thinking and helps me better conceptualize and 

visualize the reasons behind any issues or worries I might be having. Especially as someone who 

gets anxious quite easily and bombarded with a deluge of random thoughts, this method of 

relaxation has proved to be the most helpful and is something I will definitely continue to make 

time for throughout the rest of my schooling and even my work career. However, I have yet to 

learn how to truly allow myself to take breaks without feeling antsy, because I know I could be 

doing something productive. Therefore, this will be a project that I will continue to work on for 

the next three years in university.  

I have also learned, through experience, that “it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not 

always linear; these steps don’t take place in a nice, neat order. It’s a developmental process that 

will recur throughout your lifetime” (“Navigating your Career Journey” by CCD – Moreau FYE 

Week Four). In the beginning of the year, I would constantly berate myself for repeatedly 

making the same mistakes. I did not realize that shame and anger towards myself would not 

encourage me to improve myself in the future. Now, I have learned that I must treat myself as I 

would my best friend; I am the person with whom I will be living for the rest of my life, so I 

might as well treat myself with some kindness and respect! When I have a day where I fail at 

staying committed to my personal mission statement, I will analyze the mistakes I made, make 

note of them, and then forgive myself for them. As the neurosurgeon Dillan Ellegala once said 

when discussing how he would cope with making costly mistakes during surgery, “Forgive and 

remember.”  



One of the must difficult, yet most helpful ways for me to learn to forgive myself for the 

repeated mistakes I would make and the ensuing failures was to understand that, in God’s eyes, I 

am right where I need to be. This idea also helped me become more patient and forgiving of 

other people’s errors that affected me. Father Boyle, in fact, expands on this topic of heavenly 

love in his book Tattoos on the Heart. Reading his book for my literature USEM this year taught 

me quite a bit about faith and trust. Father Boyle’s words taught me that God does not make 

mistakes in His creations, and that he loves each of his sons and daughters—whatever the current 

state of their character. Knowing this very promising fact helps me be more understanding of 

myself. As the self-described college-educated gay Catholic Jacob Walsh recalls when he 

discusses a conversation he had with a priest about his spiritual confusion, “The words of the 

priest from college came back to mind: ‘You can’t convince yourself God loves you, but you can 

ask Him to show you’” (“Growing up Gay and Catholic” by Jacob Walsh – Moreau FYE Week 

Ten). Continuing to look for signs of God’s love for his children will make it much easier for me 

to act as a kinder and more considerate individual, both with myself and with other people, as I 

know that I will discover those signs everywhere, as soon as I truly look. While I do believe 

kindness to be one of my strongest suits, I do acknowledge that I should be more forgiving and 

loving toward myself, too.  

This realization brings me to my next point, which is that—when I fail to achieve a hope 

or dream—I tend to hyperfocus on the mistake, rather than the journey that led me to it. I tend to 

forget that mistakes are opportunities for growth, not signs of stagnancy or regress. Comparing it 

to the universally-known metaphor of noticing only the trees, rather than the forest, my mistakes 

are the trees, while my progress is the forest. “It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still 

that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the 



larger picture” (Why We Need to Slow Down our Lives by Pico Iyer – Moreau FYE Week One). 

Once I started working with an ADHD life coach and a sports psychologist, I was able to better 

acknowledge the progress I had made, rather than fixate on my errors and failures. Instead of 

being upset that I lost a bout, I acknowledge that I placed higher in the tournament than I did the 

year before at that same event. In the future, when I make a mistake, I will take a moment to 

think about what went wrong and realize that just because the situation did not turn out ideally, 

does not mean that I did not do my best and did not do better than I previously would have in the 

same situation.  

In the same way that I want to become more intentional about how I talk to myself, I 

would like to become more intentional about the way that I listen to my friends and the 

information I absorb. While Paul Blaschko discusses the intentional gain of information with a 

more political slant, I would argue that you could extend his statement to also include friends’ 

experiences, not just current events. Blaschko states that “We should be intentional about the 

information that we expose ourselves to” (“How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul 

Blaschko– Moreau FYE Week Eleven). While he is more discussing echo chambers and social 

bubbles, I applied his quote to my more personal life; when I surround myself with people whom 

I find complement my personality or inspire me to grow and develop into a more educated and 

compassionate person, I feel that I am absorbing positive information from them: proper values, 

differing yet valid opinions, etc. When I am spending time with people who seem condescending 

or have a more arrogant attitude, I feel that I am absorbing negative information that comes from 

people who seem to have the constant slant of self-gain. Therefore, I would like to continue to 

surround myself with people whom I can come to for some advice, an opinion, or some general 

support; the information—whether tips or encouragement—is something positive for me to 



absorb that will help me see any difficult situation in which I might be with a more positive or 

well-rounded perspective. In addition, I feel that the friends and other individuals in my support 

system are people that I can trust: a foundation that is necessary for any type of growth. Father 

Hesburgh, in order to allow for the progression of the civil rights of African Americans, had to 

create trust between extremely argumentative and disagreeable politicians who had polar 

opposite views on the subject. However, “once they trusted each other, they were able to do 

tremendous work” (Hesburgh by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley – Moreau FYE Week 

Two). Similarly, since I can trust the individuals in my support system, I know that—through the 

quid pro quo of friendship and encouragement—we can help each other flourish.  

Most importantly, the idea of love and support for both myself and the people I surround 

myself with that I discuss in my mission statement highlights the importance of having and 

maintaining the values that allow for such positive and beneficial relationships. Without 

establishing and committing to such values, we are not truly being the best versions of ourselves. 

As Father Moreau states, “Our mutual respect and shared undertaking should be a hopeful sign 

of the kingdom, and they are when others can behold how we love one another” (“Constitutions 

of the Congregation of Holy Cross” Congregation of Holy Cross - Moreau FYE Week 12). If I 

do not continue to refine, develop, and stay true to my values, I know that I will lose the love that 

I currently am blessed to hold from my friends. I know that, in order to push myself to embody 

my mission statement every day, I must make a commitment to myself to hold true to the 

principles of hard work, discipline, love, and empathy that I discuss in the statement. Otherwise, 

I am not living in the light of the Lord. Finally, I understand that my mission to become the best 

possible version of myself will be fluid and will have to be modified as my life develops. I know 

that I may want to expand on the statement, and perhaps add an addendum, or more details! 



“There is no point where [I] can say, ‘The issue of my calling is settled’” (“Three Key 

Questions” by Fr. Michael Himes – Moreau FYE Week Three), and that excites me more than 

anything else. As I said in my eulogy to my past self, I now understand what it feels like to be 

welcomed home to Notre Dame. I am truly grateful, that of all places I can begin to pursue my 

personal mission statement, it is here under the shining light of the golden dome.