Taylor Kelly
Moreau FYE: Integration Two
3 December 2021
Brokenness and Dissonance = Problems With Solutions
Starting college is such an interesting point in a person’s life. It is the time in which a person leaves his or her hometown, family, and friends to embark on a completely new journey. I, along with thousands of other freshmen comprising the University of Notre Dame Class of 2025, have traveled quite a distance from home to come to college knowing no one. Despite the uprooting and major life changes, it is a very exciting time, and is also necessary for personal growth and development. Although college has been enjoyable thus far, there have been some challenges. Throughout my Notre Dame journey so far, I have become aware of the growing importance of strength of personal character, confidence, and independence. Although everything around me is new, it is helpful when I know that I have a strong foundation. 
Despite this, dissonance is still bound to happen at times. Loneliness is often experienced by college students, but especially by college freshmen. I experienced loneliness in the beginning of the school year. I was doing activities, such as walking to class or eating a meal, that I would always do with the company of friends or family by myself. We can respond to the dissonance and loneliness we may experience as college freshmen by establishing a sense of community. In her New York Times article, Emery Bergmann says, “But by putting myself out there, I found so many communities on campus to invest myself in, and where I knew I would be happily received (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week 9). One way to do this is by taking advantage of on campus activities. We can also break out of our shells and meet new people from many different backgrounds. As proven not only by the example of beginning college but rather many experiences in life, community is extremely important. However, as stated in “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community”, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received,” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11). This reminds us that, though it is important to get out there and join communities to meet people, we have to stay true to our likes and dislikes when choosing which communities to join. 
Community is also a remedy for imposter syndrome. When people keep to themselves, thoughts can run wild. These thoughts could possibly include those of imposter syndrome. However, when we share our experiences with others, we realize that other people are going through similar circumstances. In the video entitled “What is Imposter Syndrome”, the speaker defines a phenomenon called pluralistic ignorance, which occurs when people doubt their abilities, talents, and accomplishments but keep these doubts to themselves and feel as if they are the only ones who feel this way (“What is Imposter Syndrome” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week 9). However, if we spoke freely about our feelings and insecurities within our trusted communities, we would all benefit. From reading about these topics as well as discussing them in class, I now know that, when facing any sort of dissonance, including loneliness or imposter syndrome, I will not struggle quietly, but instead open myself up to community. As I am finishing up my first semester, I am thinking about which communities I want to join. I tried to join a handful of clubs in the beginning of this semester, but nothing really stuck. I am especially looking for ways to become involved in music, since playing the piano has been a large part of my life, and I feel myself missing the musical experiences I had in high school, especially instrumental ensemble and the pit orchestra for the musical. 
Another obstacle experienced in life is brokenness. Although people can face this at all stages of life, it becomes more common as we get older. A cheerful second grader is not fully aware of the brokenness occurring in the world including but certainly not limited to heartbreak, exclusion, and racism. As we go through more life experiences, we see more examples of brokenness. When we go to college, we meet people from all different cities, states, and countries. There will be few other situations where you will meet more people from all different areas in the same place. This is a great thing. However, these people not only bring and share happy experiences, but also experiences pertaining to brokenness. I really like the “With Voices True” initiative by the Klau Center Archive on Race because it gives individuals opportunities to share both the good experiences as well as the challenges they have faced regarding race (“With Voices True Snapshot Summary by the Klau Center Archive on Race - Moreau FYE Week 11). 
Not only do we witness an increasing amount of brokenness as we get older, but we ourselves may experience brokenness firsthand. In the last year, I experienced brokenness when a faculty member at my high school died suddenly. We all loved her and went to her to casually chat whenever there was an issue and thought of her as the “school mom”. She was also the mom of a girl in the grade below me. Because of the small size of my school, we are a tight-knit community. Though the loss was harder because of our close community, our sense of community was a main factor in helping us to heal. 
In the Kintsugi Workshop Video, we see women who have experiences of brokenness heal through repairing pottery with gold paint. The leader of the workshop, Kristen Helgeson, shares the importance of healing not only through Kintsugi Workshop, but through understanding and accepting the fact that a person’s heart is breakable, and that that is okay. She says, “I want people to also know that their hearts are breakable, and it’s a very good thing, that it’s worth celebrating because it allows you to grow and expand. And you get to put your heart back together,” (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 10). Women experiencing Kintsugi are comforted by hope- the hope that things will get better- as well as the community of the other women surrounding them.
Feelings such as brokenness and dissonance are inevitable. We will all face situations like that throughout our lives. However, we can have hope in God. As the phrase “Ave Crux Spes Unica” translates to “The Cross Our Only Hope”, we must rely on God to carry us through these troubling times of dissonance and brokenness. We should count ourselves as lucky in that we can go directly to God when facing challenging times instead of having to figure everything out on our own. As Fr. James B. King writes, “One does not have to be a Christian to believe that adversity does, or at least can, make people stronger and prepare them for harder challenges in the future, but no education in the faith is complete without an understanding of how the cross is much more than a burden once carried by Jesus,” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King - Moreau FYE Week 12). As a Notre Dame Gateway student, I am often reminded by the Catholic influences around campus that I am never alone in my journey, and that I can always look to hope, community, and the cross as solutions to dissonance and brokenness.