Professor Hnatusko
Moreau First Year Experience
15 October 2021

Finding the Balance: Navigating and Welcoming New Experiences at Notre Dame

I believe that through being a vulnerable and loving friend, I bring my best to the community. 
	I always thought that being vulnerable was a negative thing. In middle school and the early years of high school, I was painfully shy, always reading quietly and keeping to myself. When I finally opened up to my teachers and friends, I realized how much everyone appreciated getting to know me -- the unapologetic version of myself. I became vulnerable, and though vulnerability often receives a negative connotation, Brene Brown discusses it in a positive light: “they just talked about [vulnerability] being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first. The willingness to do something where there are no guarantees” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). Like Brown says, I realized that by being vulnerable, I allowed other people to open up and feel more comfortable in this new environment at Notre Dame. For example, my family and I always tell each other that we value, appreciate, and love each other before hanging up the phone. When two of my close friends created an iMessage group chat, I began to give them random messages of appreciation, telling them how much they had influenced me in the short time that I had known them and how much I appreciated them for being my friend. Not only did it make them feel good about themselves, but it brought us closer together and allowed us all to open up to each other in times of struggle and stress.
Through being loving, I help reduce competition and stress amongst my peers at Notre Dame. To be a devoted, caring steward of the earth, I have to channel the ‘Adam II’ side of my desires, the side that “wants not only to do good but to be good, to live in a way internally that honors God, creation, and our possibilities” (“Should you live for your resumé...or your eulogy?”  by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2). An example that reminds me of this ‘Adam II’ side is keeping my competitiveness and love for “bragging rights” out of the classroom and towards the intramural and club sports I partake in. In the classroom, I do my best to help classmates, peers, and friends in my residence hall who are struggling in the class, especially if I am confident in the material. A few weeks ago, I had my first midterm in Principles of Microeconomics, a subject that I am very familiar with, given that I had experience with a micro class in high school. Hence, I did well on the exam, but my roommate did not get the same result. She was upset, but I worked with her when we both found time over the next week or so, going over the problems that she missed on the exam. She felt comfortable in the material and gave back to me when she edited my first literature paper that I was stressing about. At Notre Dame, it is essential to maintain a helpful, comfortable environment so that everyone can learn and participate confidently. 
	Being a loving person involves having a positive attitude even when times are tough; after all, how can you love others if you are angry or down at yourself? Being almost seven hundred miles from my loved ones, from delicious Jersey bagels and pizza, and from everything that provided me comfort for the last eighteen years isn’t easy. I’ll admit, coming to Notre Dame was not the smooth transition that I thought it would be; after all, it was my dream school for many years. I found myself homesick constantly for the first few weeks, but I maintained hope, “the confidence that we are moving toward light, not darkness; joy, not sorrow; life, not death” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week 3). Through telling myself that there were better days ahead, that I would eventually meet my group of people, and that tackling the heavy workload would get easier, I was able to persevere through the rocky beginning weeks. Because I maintained a sunny disposition, I eventually did find some lovely friends, and, with many FaceTime calls back home and nights spent laughing and studying with my newfound friends, I was able to find a balance between life in New Jersey and life in Indiana. 

I believe that in my first two months at Notre Dame, I have learned that enjoying the little things in life will make the biggest difference. 

	I have always enjoyed talking about myself; I value hearing that other people find me to be a funny or interesting person. However, in all of the time I spend talking to others, sometimes I would forget to listen. Upon coming to Notre Dame, I learned that “great, fruitful conversation comes from two people engaging in one another’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences” (“5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). In high school, I was involved in many clubs and extracurricular activities, but here at Notre Dame, I took it a step further and would genuinely make an effort to get to know the people involved in the clubs outside of what the club was talking about. Within my SIBC group, I conversed with fellow freshmen about their hometowns and families and what made them choose Notre Dame. I saw them as fellow bank project partners, but I also learned that Andrew has a golden doodle named Arthur at home and that Emma went to California to spend time helping out on her grandparents’ farm. Through these interactions, great conversations were sparked, and, even better, lifelong friendships were formed. 

	Already in my two months here at Notre Dame, I have had the privilege of speaking with many alumni. Though they all have different backgrounds, their advice for us remains the same: “make the most of your experience, it flies by.” Through their words of wisdom and encouragement, I have learned the importance of time: “While we can all get more money, more houses, cars, and things, we can never get more time. We should therefore be extremely intentional with our time” (“Notre Dame Commencement 2021: Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5). Because some days can be very stressful, I have begun to genuinely appreciate the smallest things about life: seeing a squirrel do something funny on my way to class, walks to the Grotto in the evenings when the sun hits the lake at just the right time, turning my head to look at the beauty of the dome when I walk across the main circle, and, of course, southwest salads at the dining hall on Thursdays. Though especially now, as I type this, it is so easy to look forward to the incoming fall break, I know that my future self will thank me for appreciating the small beauties of every day. 

I believe that by commemorating my past experiences with new ones, I will write a new chapter in my book. 
	When I get homesick, I miss my parents or my siblings, my high school friends, or my car most of the time. But sometimes, it is the littlest things that I miss the most: the fabric of my uniform skirt, the creaking of the floorboards when I would come down the steps every morning, the way the sunlight would pour through the windows of my bedroom.  George Ella Lyon touches on this in his poem Where I’m From: “I am from the forsythia bush, the Dutch elm whose long-gone limbs I remember as if they were my own” (“Where I'm From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). I, too, have my form of a Dutch elm back home: an apple tree that sat behind my childhood playset. Both are now long gone, falling victim, respectively, to a hurricane and my siblings and me growing up. Now that I am so far away, I think about this tree and my playset quite often. They may be physically gone, but they will always exist in my heart. I can commemorate them with new experiences at Notre Dame.
	I can use stories and experiences from my childhood to shape the rest of my four years here at Notre Dame and begin to shape whom I want to become in the professional world. After all, “like our economic and political worlds, stories too are defined by the principle of nkali: How they are told, who tells them, when they’re told, how many stories are told, are really dependent on power” (“The danger of a single story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7). Through my past experiences, like being on the swim team every year since I was six years old and founding my high school’s history club, I joined the club swim team at Notre Dame and hope to explore some of the university’s archives at Hesburgh when I get back after fall break. Through these new experiences, I gain new stories and perspectives and send an ode to my younger self in the process.
Overall, my first few months at Notre Dame have been incredibly enriching and insightful. I have already grown not only academically but spiritually and as a person as a whole. I cannot wait to see the joys and blessings that the next few years will bring to me and my loved ones here at this beautiful university.