Week 8 - MFYEs Integration I



Helm
Moreau First-Year Experience
3/5/22

A Eulogy and a Promise

We gather today, friends and family, to honor Kathleen, a devoted wife and mother who

lived every day with compassion and  Thank you for being here as we celebrate, rather than

mourn, the life of Kathleen.

Kathleen was always so caring as she put the people around her first. She was always

willing to do anything for those she loved. … Seeing other people’s smiling faces around her

showed how she lit up the lives around her. ….

Kathleen, thank you for lighting up the world with your infectious smile, boundless joy,

and unwavering love. We will miss you so much and can’t imagine a life without your light.

My Reflection and Promise :

For the second half of my integration I will format it similar to the previous ones as I look

into how I can improve my life and how I would like to live it. This assignment was somewhat

difficult for me as I have been dealing with a lot of death recently. I hope that this part of the

integration will put things into a more positive light. My eulogy Is somewhat short and blank

because I really am unsure of what my life will be like. I feel that its incompleteness represents

how my life is incomplete.

Everyone at my old school was required to go on this week-long trip called Outward

Bound. During this trip, we were split into groups of about a dozen kids and had to navigate the

Appalachian mountains. We had to hike and navigate, learn survival skills to get through the



August storms, work together, purify the water, make meals, and set up camps. We also engaged

in a solo part where we were able to reflect and write a letter to ourselves that we would receive

a year later. During this solo, I wrote about how thankful I was for all the great things and

technology we have today. The trip and reflection time really put things into perspective.

Everything about it was so memorable and crystal clear in my mind even though I don't have

many pictures or videos to remind me of it. I think this proves how slowing down can be

extremely helpful. The opportunity I had to share time with a group of kids I may have never

known is priceless and the self-discoveries I made about myself and the privileges I have on a

daily basis was something I could never get by reading it on the internet or watching a video of

someone else doing these things. From that trip on I was able to put my life into perspective and

learn to live my life in a meaningful way. In Pico Lyer’s opening statements he exclaims, “The

idea of going nowhere is as universal as the law of gravity; that’s why wise souls from every

tradition have spoken of it” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by  Pico Lyer- Moreau FYE

Week One). I think this is a great analogy because it associates self discovery with natural and

traditional laws and ideas. I think that taking a break or slowing down is crucial in this time

because technology is somewhat of a disruption to our natural or human state. I think it is

irrational to say that we should get rid of technology altogether, but I do think all good things

come in certain quantities. Layer explained his experiences at google where he discovered the

seven-week program called “search inside yourself.” I have heard of similar programs and I have

been in need of a break. I think that social media especially takes up way too much time out of

my day.

I also found myself searching for better ways to live as I watched the movie Hesburgh

(“Hesburgh '' by  Jerry Barca- Moreau FYE Week Two). It was really interesting to hear about



Hesburgh and all the inspiring things he did. As the president he changed what Notre Dame is by

standing up for what he believes in and encouraging others to do the same. I think that the most

important thing for us to do is to allow others to think and express how they feel and what they

believe in and listen to them. Even if you don't agree you can always take something away from

what they said. Hesburgh wanted to encourage everyone at Notre Dame to become better

thinkers and the way to do that is to listen and take in more knowledge and opinions and form

your own opinions. Today, I think it is difficult to gather as much inspiration as Hesburgh had

because of the rise of media and technology. There is so much going on that people might tune

out or tune in too much to information that is wrong or irrelevant. I think that it's hard to find

inspiration in a world of negativity, but as the movie says, “if leadership is not there, we are

ultimately governed by crisis.” I hope to become a lead just as he did. I want to live with

compassion and love for everything I do.

I often question how I can become this person. It seems really difficult to reflect on what

kind of person I am because I instantly begin thinking about all the things I have done that are

bad. And it can also feel like you are not making any progress in life when you try to think about

what you have done in the past hour or day. I often think about my day before I go to bed and I

think about what I have done for the world to make it better or to advance my future. It's hard to

do this day to day because it doesn't seem like you are making any progress but eventually, I look

back over the years and see some good and bad things that I have done. No one is perfect so

there are always going to be some bad memories or moments but you have to look on the bright

side of things and think positively in order to truly enjoy and live life. If you are always negative

you will never see the enjoyment in life. Just as I was saying before, you have to experience

some bad things in order to enjoy the good moments, but that doesn’t mean you should dwell on



the past. But as Father Michael Himes states, “Dissatisfaction (restlessness) is not a bad

thing...indeed it’s the best thing about us” (“Three Key Questions” by  Michael Himes - Moreau

FYE Week Three). I will strive to consistently ask questions about how I am living my life to

keep me grounded to who I want to be.

This brings me to my career and how I can implement not only my character and values

to living a well lived life, but I can also use my job. I had my first business ethics class recently

and we talked about how business and people in the industry are seen as bad people. And how

our careers themselves basically destroy peoples lives or take from others. This seems like a very

hard thing for me to cope with as I want to pursue this career. For doctors it seems very simple

because their job is to `help others”, but I want to figure out how I can use my career for the best.

“Every experience shapes you in some way, whether you realize it at the time or not!”

(“Navigating Your Career Journey” by  Meruelo Family Center for Career Development -

Moreau FYE Week Four). I truly believe this and Previously talked about my job experiences in

my QQC for week 4. I think that I am still struggling to figure out what I want to do with my life

and I really would like to use real estate to help with issues of homelessness in Philadelphia.

With my mom and family growing up there and recent news of a former classmate being shot

there, the cause has become even closer to my heart. But I struggle to figure out how I will get

there.

Tasha Eurich has a block quote in her piece that states, “Introspection can cloud and

confuse our self-perceptions, unleashing a host of unintended consequences” (“The Right Way to

Be Introspective” by  Tasha Eurish- Moreau FYE Week Six). When I came across this I thought

that this was a pretty true statement. I think I have even fallen subject to many of the things she

describes, but especially this one. Often when I think too much about something it unleashes a



whole new train of thought. In philosophy class a few weeks ago, we were talking about what the

truth is and how it relates to reality. Throughout the whole class, I just started going down this

rabbit hole of dark thoughts on reality and morality along with all sorts of (basically)

unanswerable questions. I left in a funk and was unsatisfied with how the world works. So I can

see Eurich’s point about how introspection can make us more confused; in philosophy, the

“introspection” was more about the world and reality, but I think it also applies to thoughts on

one’s self. With the season of Lent here I would like to take more time to myself to reflect. I

think that with all my friends always here, I don't get the opportunity to just take time to myself.

I talked about my recent attempt to practice yoga and meditation everyday in the morning. I

intend to keep doing this, but with my Lent promise I think that I want to expand that time and

take more time to reflect.

But most important to my life now, and forever will be the people and relationships I

develop. As Pope Fransis says,  “Life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions”

(“Why the Future Worth Building Includes Everyone” by His Holiness Pope Fransis- Moreau

FYE Week Seven). I found this quote to be really interesting because I also believe this. We can’t

just let time pass by us. I have found that the interactions I have with people are the most

memorable things and they add meaning to my life story. Life is not about time or knowledge

necessarily, it is also about how we live that life and a big part of that has to do with how we

connect with other beings and how we can add meaning to their lives and our own. As I said

before, I feel like the relationships I have in my life are vital. Although I wouldn’t say that I am a

dependent person, I would say that my friendships and relationships with family are some of the

most important parts of my life. When I was leaving for college it was really hard because I

realized how much I valued those relationships with those people. The thought of losing people



was really difficult. I think that it made it difficult for me in the beginning of the school year

because I felt like there would not be people or relationships like those. Although I was right, I

would never have relationships like those ones. And over the break I was talking with my friends

from home and one of them said, “well of course there isn’t going to be friendships that are

identical to ours and the ones you have here, you have different relationships for different

reasons.” This really sucked with me because I realized that the friends and relationships I was

making at Notre Dame had different meanings and reasons. The friendships that I had at home

are very strong and I have a lot of trust in those people, as I have known them my whole life. But

the people I have met here have a different kind of shared experience and I am glad that I am

able to meet so many different people from different backgrounds.

I can see how the assignment is designed to make us think about who we would like to

become, and I apologize if this is not what you intended for the assignment, but I like to

somewhat manifest my future with the positive. I have been having a very rough few weeks and

struggling to keep up mentally and physically which made it much more difficult to do this

assignment.

To conclude, I would like to make a promise to myself to reflect carefully, not to get

bogged down in the past, and to look for the good I can bring to the future. I don't have a big

master plan on how I will accomplish this, but for right now I am going to use Lent as a time to

make progress.