Ms. Wagner
Moreau FYE
12/3/21

	Despite my high school having the moniker of “college prep” it has prepared me for college in few ways aside from academics. The environment I am in and the experiences I have had in and outside of the classroom are nothing like what I was expected or even was told to expect. I have experienced some of the first failures and disappointments in my life so far. I set high physical goals for myself, despite no longer being a competitive athlete, and it is safe to say I have not reached them. My grades are lower than I would prefer, and, although I have loved my social life here on campus, I have faced adversity here as well. It is safe to say that I have not hit all of my expectations coming to school, thus far. Many in society, especially those studying psychology or behavior related fields warn about the dangers of high expectations. Julia Hogan explained such a thought when she wrote, “Those expectations are the bars we set for ourselves. When we meet (or surpass) them, we feel like we are worthy. If we don’t meet those expectations, we feel like the exact opposite — that we aren’t good enough” (Julia Hogan, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 9). While this statement is true: it is dangerous if you feel unworthy as a human by not meeting high expectations, it is a derivative of this mindset that tells young people not to set goals for the sake of your emotions. A message like that is poisonous. I have also let myself down this semester by not setting high expectations for myself in certain areas. The lack of expectations was detrimental to my work ethic and overall performance. I would rather be disappointed in myself for falling short of high goals, than not even trying to achieve my full potential. 
Over the course of the semester, I have asked myself questions that boil down to whether I would rather succeed at something easy or struggle with something more difficult. Given what I stated earlier, I seem to prefer the latter. That is why I do not entirely agree with Hogan’s message, and in spite of the adversity I have experienced, academically, physically, and in other ways since arriving at Notre Dame, I will continue to set high expectations for myself, and maintain self-discipline.
I have also experienced many differing viewpoints since the beginning of school. Those from other regions, countries, cultures, and races have shown me a lot about themselves, often in ways that I do not totally understand. It is not at all surprising to look back and recognize how diversity has changed your viewpoint. Prof. Agustin Fuentes, in a video entitled “Diversity Matter” described diversity as, “Access to different types of people, life experiences, and ways of seeing the world, which offers insight (Prof. Agustin Fuentes, Moreau FYS Week 9).” The “which offers insight” phrase is the one that I have learned even more since arriving here. Any student could easily define diversity as the list the Prof. Fuentes used in the first half of that sentence. The portion about offering insight must be experienced. One obvious example from my time here so far is learning from others in cultures that talk less than we do in America (which is just about every culture come to think about it). They do not need to fill up every empty second with their ideas, but instead listen and are prepared to wait silently for a well-formulated and insightful thought. This is something that I would really like to adopt into my life. I hope to continue to be surrounded by people with different perspectives to me and to continue to learn from them. It would be a shame to be in an area with such a wealth of diversity and never experience it.
Although many of the differences of opinions I have had here have resulted in great resolutions. Outside Notre Dame, I have witnessed our society, including my high school dive deeper into political mania. Politics aside, every disagreement nowadays, it seems, must be resolved by brutalizing an opponent, rather than reaching a conclusion with another. I often find myself giving others’ ideas too little leeway in my mind, or thinking it might be necessary to convince people that they are wrong for no apparent reason, other than to prove myself right. This would only contribute to the problem I described. Father Jenkins described our current situation by stating, “The danger is all around us now. Hatred is rising, yet all sides feel more virtuous. We’re asleep to the threat (Fr. John Jenkins, Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address, Moreau FYE Week 10).” I experience this danger whenever I switch on the news, spend enough time off campus, or in one or two disagreements I have had with other students. The question I have asked myself more over the past year or two is how can we put an end to this completely insane polarization. I gave my opinion in the Week 11 QQC that politics has replaced religion for many, and that people hold on to their politics with a fervor that can only be described as religious in nature. I am not saying that religion should be everbodys’ solution to this problem, but for me having a more benign priority has turned me from somebody who was participating in this political mania to someone who seeks other, more fruitful things. Some of those things include, spiritual, academic, and physical betterment; all things that I have committed myself to at Notre Dame.
	Despite the massive amount of adversity and failure I have experienced since the start of this journey at Notre Dame, I am still confident that religion will play a key piece in faith and discipline. In C.S. Lewis’ the Screwtape letters, we get an incredible depiction of how the Enemy operates and seeks to ruin our lives. However, the demons exclaimed that their cause is never more in danger than when someone “asks (God) why he has been forsaken, and still obeys (C.S. Lewis, the Screwtape Letters - Moreau FYE Week 12).” This hypothetical person is in a hopeless situation, but still keeps his/her faith and obedience to God and his teachings. Similarly, I hope to keep my bearings straight and achieve my goals through my faith and discipline. I have experienced difficulties and failure since arriving. I am seeing a world and a people which seem keen on destroying themselves, but I have also achieved victories, hit goals, and seen opportunities ahead. I have learned from others, who have totally different views on how to do so. My experience at Notre Dame has been difficult at times, but overall spectacular and exhilarating. I know the difficulty will not go away, but I hope to keep the spectacles and exhilaration, not through relaxing my goals, but through discipline in hitting them and faith that there is a plan for me.