Professor Lassen 
Moreau 10101-17 
5 December  2021
Integration 2
Prompt: What have I encountered and how will I respond?
In week 9, the topic was about responding to  internal and external dissonance. For me I do indeed struggle with perfectionism and because of that, I am my own worst critic and biggest bully. I work really hard for my results because I want the best for me. Thankfully, I do not suffer from imposter syndrome because I believe in myself and I know that I  am just as smart as my peers. Externally, I really don’t allow a lot of misconduct to touch me. I have a lot of confidence in my abilities and with that being said not many people come at my crazy. Plus, I am super friendly and approachable so no one really bothers me much  anyways. One quote that stood out to me from that week was,  “You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others” (Hogan). This rings true because you have to live your life for you, doing the things that make you happy and allow you to grow into a better person. And the same goes for when making new friends. Week 9 also touched on not trying to find friends to replicate your old ones. Just make new friends completely and let the relationships flow with no comparison to the old friends.
Week 10 touched on encountering brokenness and I just want to talk about  how on Summer Walker’s new album, Ciara had a prayer at the end of the album where she said “I’m broken but I’m beautifully broken” and that rings true for a lot of people especially after experiencing the downs of life. Ciara’s quote also pairs really well with the kintsugi where people break pottery and repair it with gold. That right there is super healing to anyone who’s ever felt broken. Week 10 also touched on systemic racism and that was traumatic to read about because it is embossing and it did not make me feel good. Being a super minority (a woman, Black and Latina) the cards are stacked against me to the highest degree but that does not stop me from succeeding. My mom always told me from a young age that I was destined for greatness.
	Week 11 focused more on encountering community and on a larger scale, everyone is a part of each other’s community. Then within the large community there are millions of smaller communities. I have my dorm community, my community from school, from home etc.. All of those communities are helping shape me into a better person. I want to add this quote right now: “Suffering lets our ‘hearts break open’ enough to hold both a vision of hope and the reality of resistance without tightening like a fist” (Thirteen). I agree to some extent but at the same time, I just really don’t feel like life should be super hard all the time. Why must we endure hard times to experience good times? I just want to live an easy life with minimal problems. I feel like if you have some empathy and kindness in your heart then you will be able to hold both a vision of hope and the reality of resistance without tightening like a fist. I just don’t understand why everyone has to endure some type of struggle that impacts their life and alters their way of thinking and all that jazz. I crave a life of easy days and peace.
Week 12 hit on the topics of encountering hope. I still don't know what it means to live and grow in hope but maybe one day I will… fingers crossed. I did pose a question that week asking how hopeless people find hope and I'm still curious to find the answer because I feel like for the most part. You’re either hopeful or you're not. Most of the people in my life are hopeful so  guess that's why I’m so optimistic about everything. 
When looking back on the past several weeks of Moreau and I have encountered hope, community and brokenness. I firmly believe that all three work together like a holy trinity to keep you on your toes about life. Sometimes when you’re feeling broken you might also feel hopeless and you'll have to lean on your community for support. That was just one example on how all three rely on each other. Having identified what I encountered, I think I'll respond by continuing to be a good person who just wants to grow as an individual. At the end of the day, I think the biggest lesson I have learned in Moreau this semester is to just be vulnerable and from that so many doors will open and continue to open by simply being my most authentic self. I have also realized that over the semester, my priorities have changed a little. I value my personal time so much more nowadays. I think that is because I only have such a limited amount of personal time in college with having to live with a roommate and managing classes and social settings that when I can get that moment to myself, I cherish it more than anything. Something that has gotten more complex over the semester for me is juggling my academic, social and personal life because I go to school and sleep in the same place so for my brain to understand that concept is taking longer than expected to adjust fully. In high school, I went to school in my family car and went home everyday. Here, I walk to school which is across the street from where I brush my teeth and do my laundry. 
Lasty,  I also just want to give my personal opinion on how I feel like the moreau lessons have gotten more and more abstract but not necessarily in a good way. I feel like they have decreased in impact and value. Whoever  made the second half of the semester curriculum got lazy and did not even try with the names of the lessons. It just looks thrown together. The first half of the semester’s content hasd substance and was thought provoking. Second semester content.. Not so much. I hope the second semester of Moreau is as engaging as the first half of the first semester.