Integration #2
Moreau- Leis
Leave Town: Find the People You Know?
I have encountered that first year was not as I expected. I thought I could, as the Avett Brothers say, “disappear from my hometown to go find the people that I know.” Turns out that was not so easy. I have made some good friends, but at times, I feel like I am missing what I used to have back where I went to high school in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. In week 9, Bergmann says “Now a sophomore, I see how ridiculous my expectations were for my first year. To assume I could instantly meet my New Best Friends while also getting used to a new place, starting a new academic career, and learning how to adjust to life away from home — that’s a full plate already.” (Week 9) She is so right. I do have a lot on my plate, and I did have very high expectations on how everything ‘should’ work out. As I learn time and time again, hardly anything ever goes as we think it ‘should.’ Our whole life is in the hand of God and there is nothing we can do about it besides try to be patient and trusting. 
I have encountered that my Catholic faith can be much different from other peoples’ catholic faiths. Back home, most of the community had roughly the same idea of what our faith should be like. This created an echo chamber of sorts, and I was starting to think that there was only one good way to be Catholic. This was challenged when I came here though. I met so many Catholics from around the world who live out their faith in a very different way than me. I have appreciated seeing different sides of the Church and seeing this gives me a passion to live as one as Jesus instructed us. “We cannot proclaim the love of God in Christ without seeking the unity of all Christians.” (Jenkins Week 10) This statement originally from Pope John Paul II and then paraphrased by Fr. Jenkins has an almost entirely new meaning to me. I really look forward to meeting more people who live out their faith in a different way than me. 
I have encountered what a truly strong community looks like while living in the seminary. I have learned so much from my brothers in formation about what relationships should look like and how to maintain healthy ones. One key was illustrated well in week 11, “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (Palmer Week 11) If we are able to look at community as a gift instead of a chore, I think new appreciation abounds. I have learned so much from my relationship with my roommate especially. We live in such close quarters that we both need to be on the same page on what needs to happen in our room. We have found a good system which keeps are room in good shape as well as our relationship. I really view him as a gift to be received instead of another person to keep in touch with and try to stay close friends with. 
I have encountered new experiences in my prayer life while here as well. In the past, consistency in prayer was a real struggle for me. I wanted to pray daily but nevertheless, every once and a while, I would skip out on a day. This drove me crazy for years. Once I got here, I was gifted a wonderful community to pray with me every day. For this, I am so grateful because I have become more consistent. It is so difficult to be consistent in prayer because of the peaks and valleys of it. Lewis says in week 12, “Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation—the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.” (Lewis Week 12) C.S. Lewis is saying to expect the troughs and peaks of prayer. Getting up to pray will not always be easy. Prayer will not always seem fruitful. Prayer might seem like a complete waste of time in the troughs. Lewis reminds us to stick with this though because the troughs are some of the best times to be faithful to God. In these times when prayer does not ‘feel’ good, the most growth can happen. This year I feel like I have been really living this out well. I have encountered the Lord in consistency. 
Overall, I feel like my true encounter this year has been with independence from family and all it entails. Firstly, I will be the first to admit that I am not truly independent. I am fed, housed, schooled, and supported by the University. But I do still feel that being away from home is at least part of independence. I have been enjoying this year immensely away from home. It is not because I dislike my family or anything but more because I felt like it was time to go. It feels good to be self-reliant and not having parents wanting to know what you are doing. I appreciated their care for me, but things are much better not having to constantly update them with what I am doing. Getting away from the superficial though, I feel encouraged that I can live away from my family and be happy. It gives me a certain confidence to take into the rest of my life and not be afraid of where I live. Technology is such a blessing to keep in touch with family from afar. 
I am growing and I will respond by soaking it all up and discerning with it. I think one of the worst things to do is get set in your ways. No matter your age, being unable to change your views, outlook, etc. can be very detrimental to overall health. I think it is important to always stay curious and remain a student in all aspects of life.