w
Professor Chan
Moreau First Year Experience
4 March 2022
The Beauty of Fading Away
	We gather here today, not to mourn, but to celebrate the life of a great man: w, engineer, runner, writer, father to four, and grandfather to many. I implore you, not to mourn, but to live as Toby did: living life to the fullest and attacking every goal in life with every fiber of your being. Toby gave his all in every endeavor in life, in his family life, career, and personal life.
	Toby cherished his relationships with his wife and children more than anything in the world. Toby lived by the mantra that Pope Francis once said: “Life flows through our relationship with others” – (“Why the only future worth Building Includes others” by Pope Francis- Moreau FYE Week Seven). He was inspired by his own parents to be the best version of himself, especially around his children and grandchildren and always encouraged them to achieve all they could in life and be the best version of themselves. Toby’s relationship with my parents also has influenced his life greatly. They have shaped who he was as a person and made him the great man that he was. His dad encouraged to pursue engineering and to always be curious about the world and to always work hard. With that inspiration, he was able to achieve great things in the professional world. His mother inspired him to be creative and helped him develop his writing skills which he used to grow his Dungeons and Dragons Podcast. Without them, he would undoubtedly not have reached the heights that he did. He made sure to always live up to their example and inspire his kids to reach the same heights and to treat their own children the same way. Toby pursued his relationships with his family in particular because those were the strongest and most important relationships in his life. However, he also used his relationships with his friends, both in high school and college, to grow as a person. He challenged everyone he knew to achieve as much as he did.
	Toby also accomplished many things in his career, making major strides in the development of renewable energy options in his time as chief design engineer for Rolls Royce. He left the world in a better place for his grandchildren and encouraged them to carry on his legacy. However, rather than being motivated by accomplishment, Toby was motivated by his personal values. He fully believed that “The best career choices for a person are those that allow him/her to implement as many parts of his/her self-concept as possible” — (Meruelo Center for Career Development – Moreau FYE Week Four). He inspired others to have the same mentality as himself and always told his children to think first and foremost about what they like to do and then think about what things they are good at. Without his passion for his job and his many other interests, he would likely have neer achieved so much and been as self fulfilled as he was. He inspired each of his children to follow their dreams and supported them no matter what, believing in each of them to get themselves to where they truly desired to go. He saw the best in all of us and made it his mission to enable us to be the best versions of ourselves.
	However, Toby was never one to think about his true accomplishments as being those inside the workplace. As Father Hesburg said, “It is impossible to have a complete and honest human story if one doesn’t speak of human failings as well as human success” – (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley – Moreau FYE Week Two). Although Toby loved his work, he hated how it took time away from the things that truly mattered in life. He realized that a change must be made and that he should never “fixate on (his) problems instead of moving forward” – (“The Right Way to be Introspective” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week Six). Because of this, after finishing his reduced emissions engine, he quit his job at Rolls Royce in order to spend more time with his family. He transitioned to working from home and pursued his dreams of being a Dungeon Master on a Dungeons and Dragons podcast. While his works at Rolls Royce undoubtedly made the world a better place, leaving it a much better position to deal with the harshness of climate change, his work as a Dungeon Master provided creativity and happiness for all of his listeners. He helped to bring forth a resurgence of Dungeons and Dragons and taught many young people how to open up and discover who they really are through the game. When I talked to Toby about it just before his death, he told me that he valued his work as a Dungeon Master much greater than his work as an engineer. He showed me that “The one thing technology doesn’t provide us with is a sense of how to make the best use of technology.” - (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer – Moreau FYE Week One), and told me it was up to our generation to make the best possible use of his work. In contrast, while Toby did not live to see the true lasting effects of his invention on the world, he was able to see all the lives he changed with his podcast.
	Toby’s death did not catch him by surprise. He accepted that death was a natural part of life and lived his life to the fullest with his time on this earth.  To quote Ruth Graham, “To us, death is exotic.” – (“Joanna Ebenstein” by Ruth Graham – Moreau FYE). However, to Toby it was just another reason to do more every new day. He kept his death in mind and used every moment as an opportunity to make his life meaningful, through his work and service to others. He constantly pushed himself to not just do more for others, but to do better by others. 
	To quote one of Toby’s favorite artists, Kurt Cobain, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” However, Toby proves the opposite: it is beautiful to fade away. I cherish my time with him in his final moments, all the memories we’ve shared of him across the years, and everything he has done for us. I hope that everyone here lives as fully as Toby once did, giving your all in everything you do, and living for others. Toby has shown us that you need to cherish your relationships – because that is what truly matters in life – and to never give up on your dreams.