Moreau Integration 1 Moreau Integration 1 Professor Retartha 10 October 2021 Gateway Growth With the recent information that housing may not be available to gateways next year, I have been blessed with the gift of reflection, truly taking a step back and realizing why I am at Notre Dame. Originally, I took my experience as a gateway for granted, only thinking about the future instead of taking time to live in the present moment. I sacrificed time thinking about what I needed to do to seem like a “normal” Notre Dame student instead of embracing all that I was gifted with. Being a gateway is not always the easiest. Oftentimes, people are quick to judge that we are not “smart enough” or “hard working” enough to get into Notre Dame the “real” way, immediately being dismissed by others after saying “I’m gateway.” This dismissal makes it hard to be vulnerable, which, as evidenced in “The Power of Vulnerability” video by Brene Brown, is crucial in order to develop lasting and meaningful relationships. Furthermore, after listening to the TED talk titled the “Danger of A Single Story,” many have categorized the gateways into one specific stereotype rather than trying to view each person’s own unique story truly getting to know their unique and authentic selves. On the other hand, I have also encountered many people who are open and willing to learn about the experience as well as my own unique personhood, in order to develop a meaningful relationship. I realized that I can choose to look at my gateway experience as a unique and special opportunity that not many get to be a part of, or I can choose to look at it in a negative light, wishing I was a “real” Notre Dame student. With this in mind, I believe that my purpose is to accept everyone for who they are no matter who they are, as well as embrace the unique experience that I was gifted with as a gateway. While it is easy to think about the drama that has been incited coming from not being able to have housing, I believe that I will grow the most by focusing on the good. To me, this good means searching for and realizing the life-giving relationships that I have been fortunate enough to encounter during my time as a gateway. Throughout high school, I had a hard time being my true self around my friends, always trying to pose as someone I was not in order to fit in and belong in places where I knew I didn’t. Because of this, I did not take the time to get to know and appreciate each person’s unique narrative that shaped who they were as a person. Instead I focused on the subjective aspects of friendship, ones that would not last forever. After reading Olivia Taylor’s “5 Signs You’re In a Toxic Friendship,” I realized that many of the relationships that I forged throughout high school were for the worse instead of the better. I was never able to feel like my most true, genuine, and authentic self, until I was introduced into the gateway community. The amount of genuine and true friends that I have made throughout my short time as a gateway is something that is truly remarkable to me. I was nervous coming into the experience wondering if I would be “popular enough” and “cool enough” to fit in with the crowd. From the get go, I was welcomed with open arms by the gateway community, whether that included teachers, peers, or former gateways. No matter who it was, they were willing to get to know the unique me, appreciating me for all that I had, both the good and the bad. I have noticed that the friendships I have forged here enable me to always be my most genuine and authentic self. I am not afraid of trying to constantly impress people to fit in, and I feel like I belong with the people that I surround myself with. After taking the character strengths survey, I realized that I have worked to surround myself with people who have a similar mindset, but also challenge me to be better in the areas that I lack. It is easy to only focus on what comes naturally, but the real growth comes from practicing what is difficult. Some of my strengths included humor and kindness, while one of my weaknesses was love. I was upset by this, but also realized that surrounding myself with people who show their love for me and boost me to be better at loving myself would enable me to grow much more quickly as a person. On the same hand, I realized that growing up in Utah has deepened my perfectionist nature, which has both very positive and negative aspects. I often do not give myself enough credit and love, feeling like I am not enough if something doesn’t turn out perfectly. Fortunately, I have met so many people here that make me feel like I am constantly enough, which has enabled me to grow in both courage and love. I no longer feel ashamed to be from Utah, but rather proud of where I am from because it has shaped me into the unique person that I am today. I am proud of the person that I am, and I have realized that I am not going to be perfect one hundred percent of the time. In the end, I have realized that I have been blessed with the gateway opportunity for a specific reason, and I am meant to see the commitment through, even when it seems like the wrong path. No matter what happens with housing next year, I am blessed with lasting relationships and people that will always hold a special place in my heart. The memories that I have created with them and the memories that I will continue to create are some that I will never forget. I have been so fortunate to meet the most special people who have inspired me to be better, loving myself and loving others more so than I have done in the past. Together we are gateway and always will be a gateway cohort, coming together and supporting each other through both the good and the bad times. As we lit candles at the Grotto on Sunday October 10th, I saw this dynamic firsthand and realized in that present moment that I am where I need to be, no matter what happens. I am at Notre Dame to fulfill my purpose as a person and a student loving, appreciating, and opening up to all different types of people as well as opportunities.