Integration One: Ryan Retartha Moreau FYE 15 October 2021 “Make Sure you Pray Before You go to Bed” I came to college knowing that I would face many situations where I would have to choose between my firm beliefs or the pressure of “living it up” as a freshman in college. I know who I am and what I stand for, yet I still found myself challenged here. I truly believe that everyone has their own belief system based on the way that they grew up, but college is also a place for that system to be either fostered, or slowly dismantled. Personally, I believe that my purpose in life is to demonstrate love and use any advantages I obtain to assist underprivileged communities. As a minority myself, I have experienced the beauty in the compassion of others to help my family, especially when we were struggling while I was younger. A lot of the challenges, like my parents separating and constantly moving between extended family member’s homes, that came with my childhood led me towards my empathetic nature because I had to learn to become understanding. However, in Week 4 we discussed the characteristics of toxic nature within relationships that helped me to realize that there were many of those within the relationships with my parents because of the trauma. I was specifically able to resonate with the satirical video that embodied various negative aspects of the relationships I hold, which would force me to feel guilty or responsible for things I was unable to control (“Because I Love You” by One Love Foundation - Moreau FYE Week 4). This held firm to my belief that I need to carefully search for life-giving relationships in order to help those in need, but to also protect my psychological and emotional well-being. My upbringing was not a common one and I loved the outlet that the poem provided for expressing what aspects of my childhood feel most essential to me (“Where I’m From” by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six). My birthplace affected the way I grew up because of the immense diversity of people. That allowed me to value it so much and added further to my empathetic character. My challenges as a kid left me feeling unseen. I wanted someone there for me to feel what I did, but there was no one. I believe that is why I am so willing to step in and be guided by empathy because it is essential for change. I know that I wouldn’t want my childhood for anyone else, but I am so thankful for it because it formed me into the person I am today, and I think I am pretty proud of her. Additionally, I believe that I grow most by being vulnerable and using introspection to reflect on what I need to work on. At Notre Dame, I have already had to do this a lot as I navigated friend groups and where I felt I belonged. I am not afraid to be vulnerable and I am quite frequently known as an oversharer because I am not afraid to show my insecurities and struggles, especially now as a freshman. The first video we watched for Moreau spoke to me immensely because of the impact it had on the views I already had about the importance of self-vulnerability and being vulnerable with those around us (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Bréne Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). I found myself being very vulnerable with people shortly after meeting them here at Notre Dame. It seemed like I needed to be vulnerable to connect with people beyond the boring questions, “what’s your major?” and “what dorm are you in,” even though as a Gateway student, I had to become even more vulnerable while explaining that I lived at Holy Cross and wasn’t full time at Notre Dame. My desire for vulnerability has allowed me to mature in many ways emotionally, especially as I have faced many situations where I am asked for advice on boys or what to do about feeling homesick. I know that I have so much to learn and grow through as a person, especially because I am only 18. However, I am very fortunate to have some maturity as a result of being open to vulnerability and the importance that it carries in a well-lived life. I know that at Notre Dame I will continue to face situations where I need to be vulnerable and I am completely open to it because I believe that it is necessary in order to live a fulfilling life; we don’t always need to be strong and assertive of what goes on around us and vulnerability fosters that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be Furthermore, I believe that I am responsible for my own success through the way I deal with challenges in life. I have been extremely challenged at Notre Dame as I navigate the rigor of academics and the difficulty of maintaining friendships past Welcome Weekend. I learned to think openly and to realize that I will not always succeed and I will not always excel academically. This reminds me of the Ted Talk that spoke of the detrimental effects of a stubborn mind. One needs to be open to new concepts, ideas, and people in order to fully flourish as a human (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week Seven). One thing I took away from the fifth week of Moreau was that I surely want Carla Harris to speak at my Commencement in 2025. She spoke so eloquently of the value found within learning from failures and disparities, especially when she highlighted the importance of getting back up after failing( 2021 Laetare Medalist Address by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week Five). I only see myself truly succeeding in life by acknowledging that there is always room for growth, but there is also no pressure to be exceptional 100% of the time. My success doesn’t depend on the evaluations that I receive, but it does depend on the effort and work that I put on. I need to find value in my work ethic and effort because that is what leads to success. Fall once and get back up seven times. Finally, I believe that it is important for people to have a firm belief system that guides their actions and lifestyle. I have seen and met so many people from different backgrounds that have allowed me to see the value in knowing what one holds as truth. I personally know that my faith is integral to the way that I live my life, but also to the way that I view my life. In class, I knew that one of my highest ranking strengths would be spirituality or faith because I wear it so proudly. However, I appreciated that it showed me areas that I wasn’t so strong in and one that stood out to me was curiosity (VIA Character Strengths Survey by VIA Adult Survey - Moreau FYE Week Two). I know that I am not a very adventurous or curious person because I can be considered a control freak based on the way that I like to plan. In other words, I can't do spontaneity. My faith is a guiding principle in life, but in the area of https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup curiosity it has steered me away from venturing out of the fear that I will mess up. However, I have learned that my faith isn’t a hindrance, rather, it is a way for me to write my unique story for others to read and see the beauty in the love of Christ. My faith has undoubtedly been challenged at Notre Dame because nobody is forcing me to do anything. However, Father Pete’s inspirational video made me reflect on the way that I viewed my faith because it is special to each individual. It can be fostered or explored in different ways anywhere, but especially at Notre Dame. I have explored mine here by joining an amazing community of faith-fueled individuals in Iron Sharpens Iron and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else on Thursdays and Sundays when we all go to Church together. I am thankful for the various opportunities I have been given at Notre Dame to grow in my faith, including the Grotto or the Feed your Faith event in the first couple of weeks. Yet, I found that there is always something else that I can be doing to grow in my faith and it reminds me of a conversation I had with my parents in my dorm and them telling me, “make sure you pray before you go to bed.”