David Lassen
Moreau Semester 2
April 29th, 2022
Cargo in Tow
	This past year has been the shortest and longest year of my life so far. I say this because it feels like it has flown by faster than I can comprehend, but I can also recall moments of struggle or overwhelming joy that seemed to last an eternity. Over the past two semesters, the sheer volume of experiences I have gone through has been more than I thought possible. Periods of monotony were surprisingly brief, as I realized that there were things to be done every single day of my time here, academic or otherwise. The sheer number of significant encounters and complex relationships has brought clarity to my personal mission statement as it exists now. I am often meditating on my own experiences and indulging in introspection, but I am now pairing this with much more present thinking. 
At the very beginning of the semester, I reflected on the quote, “It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture” and countered it saying that it ignored the value of looking at the little things in life that can hold incredible significance (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Semester Week One). Looking back, my thinking and view of the world was being severely limited due to a large number of mental health problems and negative thoughts that I was experiencing at that point. I now realize that taking a “bigger picture” perspective and taking smaller things into account are not mutually exclusive. Father Hesburgh was a perfect example of this (Hesburgh produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 2). He was able to put his all into his relationships with small acts of kindness and incredible consideration for those he cared about, and that allowed him to more effectively operate as a force for good on the world stage. In my life, I have begun to find that an examined personal life and a worldly perspective are complementary. As I learn from my own experiences and relationships, my perspective of the world as a whole seemingly becomes healthier and optimistic. My worldview is becoming more authentic. 
I see the good life as a life lived authentically. Authenticity in this case is primarily authenticity to myself. In being authentic with myself, I am naturally authentic with others. This path to authenticity is infinitely ongoing, as there will always be more to discover about myself and the world around me. In week 3, we learned about Sister Alethia, a nun who encourages people to face their deaths. I noticed that her thinking resonated with me when she said, “it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them” (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die” - by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 3). I do not think the cliche of “living life to the fullest” encapsulates the breadth of experiences I want to have. I am not looking to have the most possible “good experiences.” I am looking to have the most experiences, good or bad. As I mentioned before, I have faced many challenges this semester, but I do not regret having faced them. I see distinct changes in myself that would have never come about otherwise. I think one of the biggest changes has come about in how I interact and communicate with the people I care about. In week 4, a survey from the Meruelo Family Center of Career Development posed the question, “what is something you are doing when you lose track of time,” which I responded to by saying, “I lose track of time when I am surrounded by people I love” (“Seven Clues: An Interactive Assessment Activity” - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 4). In a relationship that I will not go into full detail about, I was reminded of the extreme importance of being authentic with myself about my own feelings and the importance of communicating those meanings to the people I care about. In this case, an inability to share authentic feelings from both sides resulted in a full breakdown of the relationship. We gradually became friendly with each other again, but up until recently, the fallout from our inability to communicate hung over our heads. A recent conversation in which we fully laid out how we felt finally lifted this burden. It is easy enough to float in life, but I view floating as stagnation. I want to fly through life, filling my days with intentionality, acknowledging imperfections and appreciating the beauty in them. I had always been told that communication, however awkward or painful in the moment, was better than keeping things bottled up until something happens, but this situation fully confirmed that. Delusions I come up with to protect myself may provide temporary relief from my troubles, but they only delay, or in some cases amplify, the pain. In my life, excessive escapism is the enemy. 
	I find that I can ground myself quickly by asking for outside perspective from someone close to me. The discernment conversation I had with my in week 5 helped me ground myself in a moment where I needed this grounding desperately. In the midst of grief over the dissolved relationship mentioned above, we talked about the positive attributes I possess. He told me that two of my most admirable qualities were my ability to talk with anybody and my ability to grasp complex things quickly. Both of these things are extremely important in maintaining and building relationships, but I realized that even though I found talking with people relatively easy, I had to work on confronting awkward or painful topics when necessary. In week 6, we directly tackled the subject of introspection that I have touched on a bit already. Dr. Tasha Uerich perfectly captured the problem with this feet-dragging behavior in saying that, “it may surface unproductive and upsetting emotions that can swamp us and impede positive action”(“The Right Way to Be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Uerich PhD - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 6). Earlier in this reflection, I used the word stagnation to describe a passive life. Stagnant water festers, and this festering chokes out life with poisons and rot. The longer I tried to avoid pain in vain, the more serious the suffocation became. I stepped up and had the conversation I had to and the water began to flow again. The world moves on whether we like it or not, and you will end up eroding away if you try to stop that movement. 
	This necessitation of motion means that relationships are ever shifting, too. Though it seems oxymoronic, there can be elements of stability in these mercurial things. In week 7, we read an excerpt from Tattoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle which showed the development of strong relationships against great odds. The stubborn and violent gang members that Father Greg works with have almost no remorse for their actions, and he remarks that “bridging the gulf of mutual judgment and replacing it with kinship is tricky indeed”, but his seemingly infinite patience prevails (Tattoos on the Heart by Fr. Greg Boyle - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 7). The friendships that Father Greg forms with these men are so strong because of the obstacles that were overcome to achieve them. In my own life, I have seen the same trend. Friendships and relationships that have been “battle-tested” are the ones that are stronger than ever now. Even if the conditions are treacherous, I will brave the waves that come with any relationship worth maintaining. I will maintain flexibility and an experimental mindset, but not at the cost of commitment. I will never let desire for ever-changing and evolving environments and situations jeopardize commitments to those I love.
	On a broader scale, I will try to put my resources (time, labor, money, etc.) into helping soothe some of the suffering in the world. In week 9, the concept of accompaniment was introduced. Accompaniment creates a common ground for those in need and those serving them as it “ inverts the impulse of ‘how do we help them?’ into an assertion—‘we’re in this together’” (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenberg - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 9). In my pursuit of new experiences and knowledge, I will not be an impartial observer. Even if there are no universal truths or laws or values, I will create and abide by my own. Given that all lives have the same potential as my own, I will view others as equals worthy of support and love. Ignoring suffering in the world would be entirely inauthentic. Therefore, I will work to alleviate pains in the world as I go about my life. 
	Notre Dame tries to encourage an altruistic mentality in all of its students, but it can only do so much. In week 10, we looked at the portion of the university’s mission statement that pertains to inclusivity and support for people of all backgrounds. The university states that it strives to “create an environment of mutual respect, hospitality and warmth in which none are strangers and all may flourish,” but even if the university itself is not actively racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic, it is a reality that an unsettling portion of the student body is (“The Spirit of Inclusion at Notre Dame” from Du Lac: a Guide to Student life - Moreau FYS Semester 2 week 10). Because the university can only do so much, I have realized that it falls upon the student body to be the force that drives out these prejudices. It is vital that I do my best to call this behavior out when I see it. If I do not do so, there is no guarantee that anyone else will. Some may see this as some form of the ever feared “cancel culture,” but there is a difference between stifling someone’s viewpoint because you disagree with them and calling out bigotry for what it is. In no way do I want Notre Dame to become an echo chamber in which the belief is that “those who dissent are only doing so because they lack willpower” (“How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul Blaschko - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 11). I would like to create the polar opposite environment, one in which all are accepted and respected even if they have glaring cultural and ideological differences. I think this will make up a large portion of my mission for the next three years. Week 12 asked us the root question of this socially conscious semester of Moreau, how we can grow our courage to act. The Constitutions of the Congregation of Holy Cross highlighted a key element that makes the unjust forces we are trying to fight against in saying, “there are networks of privilege, prejudice and power so commonplace that often neither oppressors nor victims are aware of them” (“Constitutions of the Congregation of Holy Cross” - Moreau FYS Semester 2 Week 12). The shrouded nature of these deleterious systems of oppression necessitates extreme diligence. An elite institution like Notre Dame is precisely the type of place that can use intellectual firepower to take on these labyrinthian structures.
	All of these points that I have laid out will serve as guideposts for the next three years of my life here and out in the world. Authenticity is of the utmost importance to me, and seeking to alleviate the suffering of others is exactly the authentic venture that will define the next chapters of my story. I will refuse to be complacent when I encounter injustice. I will aim my studies in computer science and sustainability in a direction that is suited for practical and direct action against environmental disaster and the underlying prejudice that so often comes with such issues. In moments where I feel alone, it may be hard to go on, but I will remind myself that struggling against that loneliness and hopelessness is rewarding in and of itself. I will allow myself to rely on the people I love and who love me to stay firm in my goals when they seem futile. I believe that my determination will only increase as I see the results of my hard work. This is the current trajectory of my life, and I will do everything in my power to keep it that way.