Moreay FYE Integration Three Professor Oswald Moreau FYE Integration Three 27 February 2022 A Life Well-Lived, Through the Eyes of Someone Still Figuring it Out Dear Younger Spencer, I am currently writing to you from a study room in Jordan Hall of Science, at the University of Notre Dame, your dream school. Yes, we made it! But, our success did not come without struggle or learning experiences. Throughout these next few years, you will learn many valuable lessons, meet many amazing people, and have life-changing experiences. You will learn little skills, like how to tie your shoes, and larger ones, like how to study for finals (heads up, they only get harder). You will learn that no goal is too big and if you set your mind to something you truly can accomplish anything. You will learn the value of hard work, compassion, and dedication. But, you also will learn through hard experiences the meaning of resilience. You will fall, you will fail, and you will struggle; But, you will persevere. You will emerge a stronger, more self-assured person because of what you have gone through. You will learn that a life well-lived is built on a foundation of self-love, righteousness, compassion, and gratitude. I hope that from this letter you are able to take away some wisdom that will help make sense of some of the harder lessons, add value to the happier ones, and guide you through these next few years. So, in the spirit of wisdom, here are my top seven most valuable lessons to live a life well-lived. My first piece of advice to you is that rest and reflection are invaluable. How you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, and the way that you carry yourself matters. If you want to be the best version of yourself, you cannot practice constant self-degradation or burn yourself out by expecting perfection. This is something that you will learn and will be continually practicing. I am sorry to tell you this, but even at nineteen, you are still learning how to give yourself a break. You are, and will always be, hard on yourself because you hold yourself to such high standards, but expecting perfection out of yourself does nothing but lead to disappointment. A quote that helped me realize the importance of self-reflection and peace reads, “The need for an empty space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape” (“Why We Need to Slow Down our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). In this quote, Pico Iyer compares “pause” to a “rest in a piece of music,” and turns something that you would consider lazy, or unnecessary, into something beautiful and essential for a work of art. Spencer, your life is the music, and taking time for self-reflection is what makes it more meaningful – I hope that you come to understand this. Something that I have grown to realize, especially during my time at Notre Dame, is that your best will not always translate into excellence. You will struggle here, especially in general chemistry, and it will be the first class that you will take where studying for hours does not equate to a good grade. It will be demoralizing, but it will cement Pico Iyer’s lesson: you need peace and reflection to live a fulfilling life. Throughout the time that I struggled, I came to recognize the value of taking a break; it is not lazy, but rather prevents burnout and saves your mental health. So, what I want you to take away from this lesson is to be easy on yourself because, as cheesy as it sounds, everything will work out for you the way that it is meant to. This mindset will help you live a fulfilling, happy life well-lived. Secondly, I want you to understand that difficult decisions are inevitable, life will not be a cakewalk, but what truly matters is maintaining morality and compassion in the face of trouble, doubt, or hardship. In a class at Notre Dame called Moreau, you will learn about an amazing man by the name of Father Pete Hesburgh. You will be completely taken aback by his many https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ accomplishments and the fact that he truly lived a life well-lived, characterized by intense kindness for everyone he met. He made an impact in the lives of others, and left them feeling better than when he found them–this is the way that you too should aim to live. One particular quote of his that I feel is relevant to share with you comes from his movie and states, “Noone likes to look at the heart of darkness…the real solutions are painful” (“Hesburgh” produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). Hesburgh’s compassion even in the hardest times is such an important and valuable lesson for you to learn. Throughout high school and at Notre Dame you will be faced with many instances where doing what is right and moral is harder and more inconvenient than cutting corners or doing the wrong thing. But, what I want you to know is that you should never sacrifice your moral compass for social gratification. Your dignity and moral standing are the most important things that you have, and you need to protect them no matter what. So, live life to the fullest, be adventurous, say yes to everything, but never act in a way that goes against your conscience or what you believe; remain strong and grounded even when others do not, it will serve you best and lead to a life well-lived. My next piece of advice is to always live your life with purpose and intention, and never take a single day for granted. As a hardworking student, you will struggle with finding a school-life balance for as long as you will remember. Especially in college at Notre Dame, you will find it hard not to get caught up in the grades, the day-to-day assignments, and an organized routine. But, I am writing to tell you that this needs to change. You cannot live your life expecting to relax and reflect on the future, because that future is not guaranteed. A quote by Sister Aletheia, a nun that reminds herself daily of her own death, that I believe is incredibly relevant reads, “Remembering death keeps us awake, focused, and ready for whatever might happen — both the excruciatingly difficult and the breathtakingly beautiful” (“Meet the Nun who https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html Wants You to Remember You Will Die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). Through this quote, Sister Athelia emphasizes to you the importance of not expecting tomorrow–a lesson that is hard to learn and even harder to implement. Spencer, you have so many dreams and goals, but you need to learn to live in the moment rather than the future. I am writing this to you in hopes that you will learn this lesson earlier than age 19. Live your life, find your routine, but exercise gratitude each and every day for your health, safety, and for the fact that you were given a new opportunity to become the best version of yourself. Another lesson that is important to learn is the value of understanding your skillset so that you can be as successful as possible in life. Notre Dame will greatly assist you in this process, and you will take many career assessments and quizzes to find out where your passions truly lie. But, even at nineteen, you will not know exactly what you want to do, who you are nor who you want to be. Because of this, it is important to take time specifically dedicated to discerning who you are. For example, a helpful quote from the Undergraduate Career Services reads, “We know that life is busy and it’s hard to take the time to slow down and process. But if you give yourself that time you will gain so much” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4). As I said, Notre Dame will help you along the journey of career discernment, and this is not something that you need to focus on now, but I want you to take away the wisdom that taking time to figure out who you are is invaluable. As the career services say, giving yourself time to reflect is the best path to self-discovery. So, although you do not need to stress about anything career-related now, take time away from school or chores to simply sit with you and try to understand who you really are, and this will help you out later and lead to a more fulfilling life. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ Along the same lines, you must learn how to utilize the resources around you, namely friends or family, to help you figure out who you are and what you are good at. Something that I had to learn was that sometimes what I thought I was good at was not what I was best at. In some cases, the people around you help recognize your strengths and weaknesses better than you can. For example, going into college at Notre Dame I wanted to be a plastic surgeon, but Dad knew that this was not where my passions lie. He talked with me about the importance of following my truest dreams, not what I thought will make me most successful. In talking to him, I realized that my aspirations lie in skincare and dermatology. In Moreau class, I talked with Dad again about who I am and where my motivations lie. One of the quotes that I took away from the conversation is, “You want to be able to look back and believe that your imprint had a positive impact on the lives of others…you desire to please, and receive the greatest happiness when people around you are happy because of your actions” (Conversation with my Dad - Moreau FYE Week 5). Dad knows me better than I know myself, and this talk cemented core values that I didn’t consciously know that I had. Therefore, I want you to remember that self-reflection is invaluable, but it is important to listen to those around you whom you respect and whose opinions you trust so that you can decipher all of your innermost dreams, strengths, and weaknesses. Learning from others is so important and directly in line with living a life well-lived. Another piece of valuable advice that I can give you is: actively implement gratitude and reflection into your everyday practice so that you are constantly striving to live a better and more fulfilling life. Being grateful for who you are, what you have, and the opportunities that you have been given is such an important aspect of living a life well-lived. A thought-provoking quote from TED speaker Tasha Eurich that I feel is worth sharing reads, “‘Why’ questions trap us in our past; ‘what’ questions help us create a better future” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich PhD - Moreau FYE Week 6). When you decipher the meaning of this quote, you will understand that she is telling you to not complain about why things are happening, but rather ask what you can do. In order to live the most fulfilling life, you need to understand the difference between the why and what questions. For example, in college at Notre Dame, when I receive a poor grade or an assignment does not go my way, instead of torturing myself with the “why” questions, I look to what I can do next. I am sharing this information with you because this is a crucial mindset change that I wish I had learned earlier. Lastly, and probably the most important lesson to learn to live a life well-lived is: you must overcome your own self-focused blinders to be more cognizant, open, and invested in the lives of those around you. Treating others with compassion, respect and care is of the utmost importance when it comes to living a fulfilling life. As phrased by His Holiness Pope Francis, “Let us help each other, all together, to remember that the other is not a statistic or a number. The other has a face. The "you" is always a real presence, a person to take care of” (“Why the Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis for TED Conferences - Moreau FYE Week 7). In this important quote, the Pope reminds everyone that it is important for us humans to not become so caught up in our own lives that we “cast others aside” but rather we love others, fully, and consistently. He tells us that we are all equally and beautifully made in the image of God, and it is, therefore, our responsibility to remember our obligation to treat others with respect, tenderness and ground ourselves in humility. Ultimately, you are not going to remember that one chemistry test, the essay that you spent hours on, or the extra time you spent studying alone. What you are going to remember, though, is the time spent with amazing, inspiring people, learning about who you really are, and truly enjoying life. Notre Dame has https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/modules/items/144754 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39695/modules/items/144754 https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript taught me that achievements are common, I am constantly surrounded by bright, impeccable students, but what matters is what kind of person you are on the inside. Spencer, if you take anything away from this letter it is this: Selfishness does not lead to true fulfillment, rather it is treating those around you how you would like to be treated that brings the most joy. Taking care of others, putting effort into your relationships, and investing interest in the lives of your friends and family will serve you well in the future and will help you to live a life well-lived. I hope that you have enjoyed my letter and were able to take some wisdom from my experiences thus far. As a nineteen-year-old college student, I am still figuring out who I am and what a “life well-lived” means to me. However, since I began actively trying to implement these seven life lessons into my daily life, my everyday experiences have become infinitely better. Because of this, I wanted to share my knowledge, stories and aspirations with you in hopes that they could aid in any way. Looking back, I wish that I had more perspective in the past, stressed a little less, and had paid more attention to the things that truly mattered in life instead of fretting over the little stuff – but you have the power to change this! So, I hope that my words set you on the right path, and I cannot wait to see where life continues to take you. Continue to trust in God’s plan, implement gratitude, stay compassionate and follow each and every one of your dreams. Best of luck, Future you