Moreau Integration Two 11/29/21 Nhat Nguyen Moreau Integration II Compassion, Challenge, and Community: My First Semester at ND Let me start with a quick confession: when I first arrived at Notre Dame, I thought I had made a huge mistake. As much as I wish I could sugarcoat my Welcome Weekend experience and the days that ensued, I was met with the harsh reality of going to a new school in a different state with completely new classmates, professors, and friends. Having attended the same school for the past twelve years, I had only ever experienced a similar environment on the first day of my new school in first grade, where it arguably was much easier to bond with other students -- friends were made at recess and at PE as opposed to at DomerFest or in a lecture hall. I grew up surrounded by the same people from 1st-12th grade, comforted by their familiarity and sustained by the advantages of having a secure set of friends and classmates. Now, at the end of my first semester at ND, I look back on the past three-and-a-half months with a sense of accomplishment and awe. Interestingly, the order of the week 9-12 Moreau modules is pretty consistent with the emotions and experiences I dealt with as a first year student at Notre Dame. After a difficult transition period and feelings of isolation and loneliness, I found my community a month or two into school, and now have a huge amount of hope and excitement for the future. I’ll be reflecting on this throughout my second Moreau Integration paper while including the resources we watched, read, and discussed during the second half of the semester. 1. Encountering Dissonance As much as I am embarrassed to admit it, I did have to Google search what dissonance meant as I was beginning the week 9 module in October. According to definitions, dissonance is a disconnect -- a contradiction or change in thought, belief, or opinion. I first experienced a sense of dissonance during Welcome Weekend, when I struggled with prioritizing both academic expectations that I had prematurely set for myself and my college experience, and expectations from my family, past teachers, peers, and classmates. I put a lot of pressure on myself to dive into a plethora of new activities while simultaneously performing well in classes, without taking a step back and assessing the new chapter I was about to immerse myself into. When I learned to acclimate to this environment as my new classmates did, I reorganized my priorities and began to put my mental health, happiness, and growth first instead of focusing completely on straight As or grinding out work. During week 9 of the Moreau course, we read an article written for the Grotto by Julia Hogan which speaks of the importance of letting go of expectations, either from ourselves or others. For that specific week, I chose a quote that really resonated with the thought pattern I had experienced earlier in the semester, in which Hogan writes, “Instead of asking, “What should I do?” or “What would my friend/parent/significant other expect me to do?”, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” and “What do I think is best?” Trust yourself. Don’t look to others for approval or for directions for how to live your life. Look at all of the options out there for living life and pick the ones that you feel called to” (Hogan). This quote highlights the philosophy I decided to adopt for the beginning of my college experience -- trusting myself, and picking things to focus on that I feel truly passionate about. Additionally, this idea relates to one https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/career-and-finance/how-to-find-your-calling/ of the four guiding questions for the second Integration outline: what has grown or decreased in importance as a result of my Notre Dame journey thus far? My answer to this would be that I’ve learned the importance of self care, self confidence, happiness, and being able to handle tough situations with grace and perseverance. I now listen to myself and understand my strengths, weaknesses, and limits. I’ve especially enjoyed the classes related to my major, in which I am enjoying learning about the content while simultaneously working hard to retain information. Focusing solely on grades and performance, and bringing myself down over small counts of failure have truly decreased since I’ve been at Notre Dame. 2. Encountering Brokenness The Friday night after Move-In Day this past August, I remember lying on my semi-comfortable lofted bed, AirPods stuffed into my ears, feeling out of place, overwhelmed, and alone despite being surrounded by girls in my hall. After hours of attempting to put myself out there and start conversations with different people, my introverted self was exhausted. Everyone I had met so far had been kind and friendly to me, but I longed for a quick and close connection with a group I could feel comfortable opening up to. My brother had gushed about his incredibly positive Welcome Weekend experience two years prior, so I had come into the weekend ready to experience similar emotions with equally welcoming and friendly people as the Duncan boys Jake had bonded with so closely. Months after the first few weeks of school, I brought up this reality to my small group during a Moreau class, and learned of the similar experiences dealt with by many of my peers in the group. It’s inevitable that many freshmen struggle with isolation and a feeling of homesickness, but I overestimated the extent to which I felt alone in these emotions. I especially began to reflect on this truth after hearing the experience of peers who felt they didn’t fit in with the ‘Notre Dame stereotype’. In Week 10, we responded to the question, what are the central challenges of my community and how do I respond? I chose a quote from Father Jenkins’ commencement address to Wesley Theological Seminary, in which he says, “Love is the greatest commandment — and hatred is at the heart of the greatest sins. Hatred is the great destroyer — the great divider. Hatred is more dangerous to us than any other threat, because it attacks the immune system of our society — our ability to see danger, come together and take action” (Jenkins). This address is a vital call to action for our community -- especially in today’s turbulent society, hatred continues to exist all across the globe, even in a place as tight-knit as Notre Dame. In times of brokenness, we need to be as supportive, caring, and compassionate as possible. Checking up on friends during times of turmoil is so incredibly important -- sometimes those who bring the most joy and laughter to others are the ones who need it the most. One of the questions posed in the Moreau outline asks what was once ambiguous or vague that now holds greater clarity? For me, it’s clear that we all undergo struggles and issues, but there is such great power in community and friendship. After hearing about the emotions experienced by other freshmen, I immediately felt less alone and validated by the issues I had faced early on in the year. 3. Encountering Community In early October, I was invited to sit with two girls from my hall section in our upcoming Psych class the following morning. I hadn’t really talked to them before, and felt slightly intimidated knowing they had already grown close, but eager to make friends, I happily accepted. Two months later, those girls have become two of my best friends in a larger group of JFam girls. Being a part of a close community has been a really positive experience for me -- I’ve been able to get to know people from different cultures, communities, and hometowns who each bring their own passions and experiences to the table. Being able to contribute to such a community has improved my confidence and significantly improved the overall quality of my college experience after the period of isolation I mentioned above. In general, I feel a surge of pride when I tell anyone that I’m a Notre Dame student. The ND community as a whole has garnered a national sense of respect from alumni and people alike, and, after only a few short days at ND, I truly began to understand why. As soon as you step onto campus, you really do feel an overwhelming sense of pride and belonging. At my first ND football game in September, I couldn’t believe the spirit and sense of community throughout the day -- a trend that continued to be true through later games, class, or even just walking around campus. In Week 11, we talked about this sense of community, and discussed the importance of strengthening these bonds despite conflict. Inspired by a quote from Parker J. Palmer on The Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community, I reflected on a specific line that resonated with me: “In my life the deepest forms of contemplation have been failure, suffering, and loss. When I flourish, it is easy to maintain the illusion of separateness, easy to imagine that I alone am responsible for my good fortune. But when I fall, I see a secret hidden in plain sight: I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration. The self-sufficiency I feel in success is a mirage. I need community—and, if I open my heart, I have it” (Palmer). Here, Palmer emphasizes how crucial it is to surround yourself with a support system through both periods of great success and great challenge. It’s easy to close yourself up in times of need, but when we open up and let others in, community will make us stronger. I think in some ways this relates to the third question provided in the Moreau outline: What was previously “black and white” that is now more ambiguous, nuanced, or complicated? I now understand that it’s one thing to have a group of friends, but it’s another to feel utterly supported and uplifted by a community. Friendship in high school was arguably black-and-white -- on paper, friends were a group of people I enjoyed hanging out with. Now, after my first semester in this new college environment, I truly understand the impact of friends who make an effort to care about you and your wellbeing. I am grateful to be apart of a community like the Irish -- as cliché as it sounds, my life has been changed for the better since the beginning of my freshman year 4. Encountering Hope At the end of the first semester of my freshman year, I am ridiculously hopeful for my future. I’ve seen the power of this community, and I’ve witnessed how transformative learning can be. I’ve loved every minute of my first psychology class, and now feel more confident in my chosen career field. I’ve found a great group of friends, and I’ve finally begun the journey to find my place at this university. Of course, there’s a sense of uncertainty looming over my head -- I don’t know how the next three-and-a-half years will pan out -- but I’ve gathered a sense of determination and motivation to find my passions and share them with those around me. One thing I am hoping to do more is actively step out of my comfort zone. During our last Moreau module in Week 12, we were asked the question, how do I live and grow in hope? I felt drawn to the Hope section of the Holy Cross and Christian Education reading from the Campus Ministry, which states, “The educational process itself requires a particular type of dying to self. Whenever we have to shed old ways of thinking, viewing, or perceiving the world around us and ourselves, a conversion of both heart and mind must take place. The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know. We need to have hope in that process to stick with it, to believe that what is born of questioning beliefs previously taken for granted will lead us to a new and better understanding of our vocation as citizens in this world and for the next” (Campus Ministry). Echoing this quote, learning requires a willingness to put aside past values and beliefs with the goal of expanding one's knowledge and dedicating oneself to complete immersion in their chosen field. Hope, in a way, requires something similar. When we are hopeful, we put aside any past failures or struggles and look to the future with a shining sense of purpose and responsibility. Hope fuels motivation for me -- I work to make my future self proud and know that any challenges I face are bumps in the road towards a life well spent. This sums up the final question posed in the Integration guidelines: What are some of the most important questions I’ve asked this semester? The main one I’ve constantly asked myself: what do I want to get out of the next four years, and how can I best prepare for my future? I’ve encountered my fair share of highs and lows, but all in all, I know I’ve made the right choice in coming to Notre Dame. I’ve grown more than I could have ever imagined in these past fourteen weeks. I know I’ll have my fair share of upcoming successes and challenges -- and this is inevitable for every college student. But with my community beside me and my determination to experience a positive future, I know I’ll be able to persevere through all the experiences that come my way. After all, it’s only freshman year, right? Works Cited (continued onto next page) (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit" by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine) ("Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address" by Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Ten) https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109425 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109434 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109288 (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven) ("Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” pages 14 - 16 by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Twelve) * https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109458 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109340 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109386 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109468 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109386