Roll with the punches
In one week I will finish my very first semester of college! This comes with excitement, anxiety, and many more emotions that I can't even begin to list. This semester has been an extreme period of growth. The biggest hardships I’ve ever faced on my own. I went from a straight-A student who wouldn't accept anything but perfection, to trying my hardest to pass my classes with a 60%. The bad grades came with harmful comparisons to my peers, inflicting the thought upon myself that I’m not good enough to be here. That I’m not good enough or smart enough to succeed at this prestigious college. I looked at friend's social media accounts from state schools back home and it looked like the college experience I’d always dreamed of, the parties, the girls, the going out on a Tuesday night. “I evaluated every picture my friends posted, determining whether their college looked like more fun than mine if they had made more friends than I had, just meaningless justifications for my unhappiness.” (week 9 “Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student” Emery Bergmann) Then I took a step back, evaluated my morals, and realized I chose Notre Dame for a reason. The common saying “you are who you hang around with” jumped to my attention, I want to be with hardworking, well-rounded people, not alcoholic party animals that devote themselves to petty fraternities. When I came to this conclusion everything changed. Not to say I didn't still struggle with school but I started to give in to the culture and found myself making more friends and establishing more connections just because I decided to give it a fair chance. I found that I am not an imposter and I am not the only one struggling with this transition.
 The transition from being a cocky straight-A athlete who didn't treat everyone with the kindness and respect they deserved also began to take place. In high school, I made a lot of mistakes. Some mistakes were minor and healthy and others I will never be proud of. This class forced me to think about my goals and morals. “Self-reflection is important because we need to find the routes”(week 10) The world these days sometimes goes overboard with giving everyone a trophy, saying good job where credit isn't due. The maturity it takes to self-reflect and criticizes your own actions and morals is not only necessary but invaluable. 
	In week 5 I felt I was cultivating my mind at the expense of the heart, poorly managing my time, and going through the motions like a robot. When I learned to place my mental health ahead of my school work I started to do better in school too. How would one even begin to grow as a person if they never devoted any time to it? Like wanting to get bigger and stronger but never going to the gym. One of the main things I've learned from my time here is taking even 10 minutes to reflect and depict what attributes about myself need to stay and what attributes need to go. One concept that seemed to return since week 7 was the fault of a single story. “It is up to us to grow as a community, seeking connection with someone we may not usually be inclined to talk to. It all comes back to seeking someone's full story and not just their single story. Not judging a book by its cover some might say.” (week 11)  I am not a single story and niether is anyone. I may have made poor decisions in the past but I’ve also done lots of good. I have been overjoyed finding the good in others this semester. A new set of friends that continues to grow. Each individual with a unique upbringing and story. I personally didnt think I’d find myself with friends that I can share important and meaningful things with this early in my college career.
	My Faith has also grown with and within my new friendships.” ‘The prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.’ This quote sticks out to me most because sometimes I only turn to the Lord when I need him. My connection with the lord is weaker when my life is going good, then when things start to fall apart and become more difficult I turn back to the Lord for help.” (week 12 The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis) Turning to the lord in states of dryness has become more frequent by ten fold. I try to pray at least once a day even when I dont need anything. I have made it a goal to live more directly within him and walk by his side day my day. This has not only gave me more hope but more confidence in all I do. 
If I were to go back and talk to my pastself in august, I would be proud of how far I’ve come. I am growing in the direction I see beneficial and have established more concrete morals within myself. Although we were taught to treat other as we would like to be treater at a very young age, I feel like I have finally began to embody this in my day to day life. The full story of every person is not meant to be indulged lightly. Seeking the differences in everyones story is more important than studying a textbook for an examine. I will learn more throughout my college experience from others than I will from classes or else I will be disappointed in myself and my goals. I plan to continue to reflect upon myself as well as shape myself into the man I want to be. “I will work hard to seek the full story instead of forming someone else’s story in my head prematurely.” (Week7). Seeking the full story not only in others but in the bigger picture of morals and life is something that will stick with me forever. I am excited to see what my future holds and I know have the strength to achieve whatever I want through the lord and through a positive attitude and kind personality.