Tommy Hedman
A Man Remembered by Humility, Service, and Love:
The Eulogy of Tom “Tommy” Hedman Delivered by a Childhood Friend
	
American author R.J. Palacio once said, “The things we do are the most important things of all. They are more important than what we say or what we look like. The things we do outlast our mortality . . . That's why your deeds are like your monuments. Built with memories instead of with stone.” Although many people throughout their lives attempt to orient themselves and their actions towards making a difference in the lives of others, no one epitomized this more than Tom “Tommy” Hedman. Tommy dedicated his entire life to caring for those who could not care for themselves as a physician, but he also worked tirelessly to lessen the discrepancy of access to medical care in third-world countries across the world. Despite these incredible accomplishments as a doctor, to all who knew him best, he was simply a loving, caring, and devoted son, brother, father, husband, and friend. He remained grounded in what was important until his last breath: his relationships and connections with others. Pope Francis once expressed that “quite a few years of life have strengthened my conviction that each and everyone’s existence is deeply tied to that of others: life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). I am not sure anyone here can find someone who lived by this mantra more than Tommy. He never let the fame, money, or success that came with his career get to his head, but rather, he used his line of work as a force for good in the lives of others. Additionally, all his family members and friends can attest to how he never missed a birthday and always took the time to show immense gratitude for his relationships. However, I think I can speak a little bit more to his character and love, as I grew up a couple blocks away from the small white house that Tommy grew up in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
Fr. Michael Himes once remarked, “All of my other vocations, all of the many ways in which I live my life, must contribute to that one all embracing demand, that one constant vocation to be fully, totally, absolutely as human as I can possibly be” (“Three Key Questions” by Fr. Michal Himes - Moreau FYE Week 3). Growing up right next to Tommy in Saint Paul, there was not one second that went by when he was not completely immersed in the current moment. He was an innocent, carefree kid that strived to experience everything life could offer him. Tommy used to organize night games such as “Zombie Tag” and “Beckon” where he would ride his bike and knock on the door of every one of his grade school classmates in the neighborhood, no matter whether or not they were the closest of friends. Much like Fr. Ted Hesburgh did when his students knocked on his office window at 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning, Tommy welcomed everyone with open arms and preached the importance of inclusivity through his actions (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). Those late night games with all of the neighborhood kids are some of my fondest memories with Tommy because it reminded me how, despite all of the accolades he received in his medical career, he still was that same kid that I grew up alongside. He never let the success change him, and he always made sure to hold onto his strong relationships he forged growing up.
Speaking of his career, I remember talking to Tommy extensively when he was just starting college at Notre Dame. He was all stressed out about choosing his major and discerning what life path he was called to pursue. I tried to tell him, as did the Career Center on campus at ND, to “relax and put aside the thought that you are deciding your career path when picking your major.  It’s much more complex than that...but also much more exciting” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by the Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4). However, none of these words seemed to get through to him. That was when I decided to FaceTime him and talk things out man to man. I told him that he was far from the only one going through this discernment process and that students all around the world were feeling the exact same way. Also, I tried to remind him to take a step back and think about his decision from a larger perspective. As Pico Iyer once said in a TED article, “It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). After saying this to him, I hung up, set my phone down, and didn’t think too much about our conversation. It was only after I talked to him again when he was in medical school at the University of Minnesota that I realized the impact these little words had on him. Tommy said he was so thankful to have friends like me who would always have his back no matter what, and he said that conversation was what he needed to think more clearly and intentionally about his career decision. Through this interaction, I came to understand how much of an impact our words and actions have on others, even if they do not seem very important at the moment. I am so glad I had that type of effect on Tommy, as he has certainly been there for me throughout my life as well.
I’d like to close this eulogy to encourage you all, Tommy’s family, friends, and loved ones, to think closely about the man he was and the way he lived his life. Tommy serves as an example to all on how to be not just successful, but more important, how to be a man of humility, service, and love. He was a friend like no other, and he will be surely missed. With his passing, I think it is important for all of us to live more intentionally, remain grounded in the moment, and carry on Tommy’s values through the rest of our lives. No one knows how much time they have been given, so we must make the most of every opportunity we have to better the lives of others around us like Tommy showed us. As Dr. Jihoon Kim reminds us, we must “focus on what we can do for others or what we can do already instead of what we cannot do and what we do not have yet” (“5 Minutes” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 6). Every second is precious. Every second is an opportunity. Every second is a gift from God. As his father told Tommy and now as I tell you all, “God has blessed you with a special gift. It is up to you to figure out what it means and how to use it in the service of others” (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” by Tommy Hedman - Moreau FYE Week 5). May Tommy’s legacy endure forever, and may God bless you all.