Away from home: a collection of lessons Away from home: a collection of lessons 1. I believe that vulnerability can help me to develop a sense of belonging and connection to the ones around me. By watching Dr. Brown’s video on vulnerability (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One), I was able to realize how being more open regarding our experiences to others may lead to the development of great friendships. One of my favorite reflections from her is centered around our need to allow ourselves to be imperfect in order to develop a strong sense of love and belonging, something I talked about in my first week assignment. For example, I recently shared with a few colleagues how I was feeling about moving and starting school in a different country. At first, I was really worried about showing my “weaknesses” to them, since I did not know how they would respond. However, after finally being able to do so, I noticed how that helped me to connect with them: although they were not international students, they were able to relate to the experience of being away from your parents. Then, they also felt prompted to share how they felt about that, and that conversation helped us to find common ground and understand we were not alone. 2. I believe that searching for self-knowledge can help me develop my strengths and improve my weaknesses. During Moreau’s week 2 assignment, I completed the VIA Character Strengths Survey. (VIA Character Strengths Survey - Moreau FYE Week Two). This survey helped me to not only get a grasp of my most outstanding strengths, such as creativity and love of learning, but also gave me a better understanding of what I can improve from now on. Since the past year, I have been looking for ways to develop my self-knowledge. Be it going to therapy or journaling, I try to constantly learn about myself by investigating the motivations behind my behavior and actions. For example, if I haven’t been feeling comfortable with being in a specific environment, I feel prompted to reflect about what aspects in it make me uncomfortable, and if there is any way for me to solve this issue. 3. I believe that I can build my spirituality even without being religious. For years, I believed being agnostic meant I should not try to develop myself spiritually. However, I noticed that spirituality does not have to be necessarily tied to religion: it goes beyond that. Being a spiritually invested person means that you recognize that there’s something greater than what you are able to physically see, be that an entity or simply the universe. For example, after watching Fr. Pete talk about the role of faith in our lives (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Three), I noticed that being hopeful is one of the key aspects of our spiritual lives. Nurturing this feeling does not require us to have a religion at all: it is mainly about trusting that everything happens for a reason and expecting positive outcomes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs 4. I believe that I can forge life-giving relationships by communicating my expectations and boundaries to the ones around me. Since last year, I have been learning about non-violent communication and how it can help us to develop healthy and mutual relationships. One of the key aspects of it is to communicate what we expect out of friendships, because people may anticipate different things from them. Additionally, making your boundaries clear to others is extremely important. In “5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship" (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship" by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four), I was able to notice a few examples of actions that may show a disregard for someone’s boundaries and expectations, which are relevant aspects to know in order to develop and maintain healthy relationships. 5. I believe that trying to find common ground with others is an effective way to connect with them. During her speech at Notre Dame’s 2021 Commencement Ceremony, in which she received the Laetare Medal, Carla Harris started making her point with a personal story ("2021 Laetare Medalist Address" by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5). Additionally, Fr. Groove (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Groove, C.S.C - Moreau FYE Week 5.) started one of his speeches the same way: telling a story. That made me reflect about how important talking about our stories and life experiences is to build and create relationships. Additionally, I have learned from personal experiences a possible reason for that: when we talk about ourselves, people may identify with one or more of the points we mention - maybe they were born in the same neighborhood, or shared a similar high school experience. Therefore, making sure you are able to insert your life narrative into interactions with other people and finding common ground may be an effective way to connect with them. 6. I believe that staying connected to the place I am from gives me strength and energy to face new challenges. For Moreau’s week six, we were assigned a poem to write based on a poem by George Ella Lyon (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). In this poem, I noticed how I did not only talk a lot about myself, but also wrote about my family and my hometown, and how I missed both of them. Writing about this topic was initially difficult for me, since it reminded me of how much I miss my relatives and the place where I was born. However, it also helped me to give me strength: I remembered why I am here, and how this experience and the opportunities it is providing me will be beneficial for me and my loved ones. 7. I believe that actively trying to avoid implicit bias is a behavior fundamental to my growth. https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://youtu.be/UjSwjn-SyB4 https://youtu.be/UjSwjn-SyB4 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html "The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story" I chose this quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ("The danger of a single story" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7) to be my quote of Moreau’s seventh week because of how powerful I believe it is. The key problem with stereotypes is that they lead us to generalizations, which can be extremely dangerous, especially if those stereotypes are negative or project unrealistic expectations on the targeted group. After discussing in my Moreau class how to avoid implicit bias, I was able to learn about simple yet useful ways to do so. One of them had a lot to do with trying to surround ourselves with diverse perspectives, ranging from diverging opinions on political matters to opposite socioeconomic backgrounds. 8. Conclusion My first weeks at Notre Dame were definitely challenging - academically and socially. However, I noticed that I have been not only able to learn from the new experiences I am having here, but I am also getting to apply a few skills and coping mechanisms I learned at home to deal with complex situations. Overall, my experience at Notre Dame has been extremely positive, and I believe that I am being able to grow both academically and personally through the resources I am being offered. https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story