Integration 2 Theo Helm Moreau FYE 3 December 2021 My Loving Experience at ND As the first days of my new life at Notre Dame set in, I was constantly bombarded at Baumer Hall with the words “a place of special welcome”. When Fr. Rob (Baumer’s Rector) kept repeating this phrase, I knew what he meant, but I didn’t fully grasp the meaning of what he was really saying. Yes, everyone will welcome the new freshmen to the dorm; however, the real question is will the freshmen feel welcome? Many students initially struggle heavily with finding a balance between social life and academic work, me included. Either trying “to find your people” like what Emily Bergmann from Cornell kept trying to say, or trying to succeed academically even when you know you are putting your best effort forward yet still falling unsuccessfully can easily become disheartening and lead students into a consistent depressive mood (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emily Bergmann - Moreau Week Nine). I have definitely found myself in similar scenarios to this many times each year. Especially in classes like Chemistry and Biology where I study very hard but sometimes receive subpar grades, the process can be very discouraging and forces me to ask do I even belong here? This is a question I have to imagine many freshmen ask themselves, and it definitely was one that I struggled with heavily and still do. Although I still struggle with finding my belonging here, I have still made many realizations about my life here at Notre Dame. Coming from high school, I was used to receiving high grades, but of course now I have encountered a severe culture shock. I have definitely come to the realization in my life that my best may not always be enough. It is hard to acknowledge but a fact I must live in harmony with. As the Kitsugi clip told us, “The good, the bad, the ugly, https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html all of that, it has made us a beautiful, dynamic, interesting person today, and that that person is worth celebrating and honoring” (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” by Grotto - Moreau Ten). It is important to look at the good and leave the bad behind. The only reason to use the bad is to grow and learn to not repeat the same mistakes and to build back better. It’s hard to realize this and many struggle with coming to this realization; however, I have been forced to come to this and understand that this is the way I will succeed mentally and academically here at Notre Dame. The power of the friends I have made here has also definitely played a major role in my personal wellbeing during my journey at Notre Dame. Making friends at Notre Dame was very difficult for me at first. However, harkening back to Fr. Rob’s point of Baumer’s special welcome, I soon realized what was truly meant by this statement once I started putting myself out there. Everyone in Baumer has been here for me no matter what, I just never looked. Luckily, I have made some of my greatest friends I and ones that support me no matter what I am going through. My Notre Dame experience and the way that I have adjusted could be summed up by saying “Change is difficult but more possible when we see and hear multiple voices” (“Diversity Matters!” by Agustin Fuentes - Moreau Week 11). The community here that I have experienced has been amazing and ultimately without them it would be impossible for me to still be mentally sane here. Me and my friends have had some amazing experiences here that are too wordless to go on about. The plethora of experiences is unique and brings me happiness whenever my mind travels to these memories. However, one big thing I wish is that my high school friends were more similar to my friends from Notre Dame. My high school experiences were riddled with short friendships and shallow connections with other people. There are only a few friendships https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 that I still cherish from back home. I wish this was different and the relationships I made in highschool were more similar to the ones I’ve made here at Notre Dame. My Notre Dame relationships are fulfilling and loving. The amount of support and emotional upbringing I receive from my people here is so heartwarming and truly makes me keep going. I’ve never experienced anything like it before, and I most likely never will again. The culture here is so unique, and I can’t imagine going to college at any other school besides the University of Notre Dame. My college experience and the way college has shaped me already these last few months would be completely different. I often think about if I didn’t go here, and went to my safety school the University of Michigan how things would look different. Coming from the state of Michigan, I am very familiar with the school and have never liked the school at all. The people typically are out to get you (it is graded on an extreme curve), the culture is distant and lonely, and the campus and college population is way too large for anything that suits me. I even visited my friend on campus for the University of Michigan vs the University of Ohio State football game, and it even more so showed me how grateful I am to not have gone to the school. It is an incredible institution, but I would have been extremely out of place. I would take the academic challenge posed to me at University of Notre Dame any time compared to University of Michigan if it meant my social life at Notre Dame remained the same. I value the relationships and sense of community I have built here too much. Ultimately, one of the best ways to summarize my life and time at Notre Dame comes from a quote from the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis “Humans' nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation -- the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks” (“The Screwtape Letters” C.S. Lewis - Moreau Week 12). Life is never linear, and I should never assume different. Word Count : 1050 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23747/files/187501/download?download_frd=1