w Moreau Integration 3 My Eulogy We are gathered here today not to mourn, but to celebrate the life of Ella Dale Darrow. Although she had a short life (2003-2022), she was still well-known for having a life that people would consider well-lived. A life well-lived can be a pretty subjective thing, but through Ella’s writings in her Moreau class, we were able to see exactly what she described as what she thought was essential to it. Ella always tried to see life for what it really was. She liked the quote,“It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture.” (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives“ by Pico Iyer – Moreau FYE Week One). She saw this to say that although life may seem hard to understand and hectic at times, all we need to do is step back for a second, take a breather, and see it from a broader perspective. I know that one time in her life, she herself felt very suffocated by the things happening and struggled with this idea. This quote, she believed, summed up what she needed to understand to turn the situation around. Ella also always felt a strong part of a life well-lived is commitment. In the Hesburgh documentary, they describe Hesburgh as so: “This is someone who was totally committed to his faith, to his country, and to what was right.” (“Hesburgh“ produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley – Moreau FYE Week Two). When Ella saw this quote, she thought to herself yep, that is exactly how I want to be remembered, as someone who is committed to the things they do and the people they have. For, what is the purpose of life without a belonging to something? She saw this as important, and this could be seen in her life through the clubs and groups she was in. Her commitment was also seen with her relationships with family and friends, which she cherished. https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 Though she has passed now, Ella never feared death. A quote she found really embodied this was, “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness, but it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them.” (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die“ by Ruth Graham – Moreau FYE Week Three). Ella always had this lack of fear that others had, and I believe that it’s because she always knew this day would come and accepted it early on. She was extremely selfless in her life, so it is no wonder that somehow she has been able to give herself wholly, even to death. In Ella’s short life, she had only a handful of professional relations, but she tried her hardest to make them count. A quote about this that could sum up her beliefs is, “As you can see, career development is a process and a journey. If you actively engage in the process, take ownership, and utilize the tools at your disposal you will reap the benefits and establish a satisfying professional life.” (“Navigating Your Career Journey“ by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development – Moreau FYE Week Four). She did not always believe this though. Through her life experiences, she learned this the hard way. I remember once she told me a story about how at her first job, she did not follow any of this advice. Instead, she was quiet and did not use the tools given to her. This led her to come to the harsh reality of life, albeit almost getting fired, but she grew from this experience, and this contributed to her life that was so well-lived. As I had said before, Ella cherished her relationships with family and friends dearly. One in particular was her relationship with her mother. Her mother experienced the most time with Ella during her life, being there through her growing ages and watched her grow into the person she was. She believed that others played a huge role in her life. She said once to Ella, “I think that you are a very empathetic and caring person, and what you desire most is to be happy while making the people surrounding you just as happy”. I believe this was a perfect way to explain how Ella was. She always was https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ putting others first, even before her own happiness sometimes, because she knew in the end, her life would be more well-lived through her commitment to others. Though we are here to honor Ella’s life, I know she would be upset if I only mentioned her in a perfect light. She was a fiery soul, and was not afraid to share what she thought about others when she deemed it necessary. Some people found this to be abrasive, but I saw it as a good characteristic. The problem was that she was always just as hard, if not harder, on herself. If she were still here right now, I would tell her this quote: “Asking what could keep us open to discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in conflict with our existing beliefs. Asking why might have the opposite effect.” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)“ by Tasha Eurich – Moreau FYE Week Six). I would want to show her this because it explains how asking ourselves “what” in bad situations is better than asking “why”. She would often ask “why” she would do bad things, and this would lower her self-esteem. I would show her this quote to help her realize how she could have lived a life that was more fulfilling in this manner. Although she is gone and not coming back anytime soon, the way she lived can inspire us all to live a life more well-lived. When she read the eighth chapter of “Tattoos on the Heart”, she felt that something everyone needed to hear was this:“We have a chance, sometimes, to create a new jurisdiction, a place of astonishing mutuality, whenever we close both eyes of judgement and open the other eye to pay attention.” (“Tattoos on the Heart“ by Fr. Greg Boyle – Moreau FYE Week Seven). She loved this quote because it gives us optimism. It shows that it is never too late to change your life and make it better. You are not stuck on the path that you are heading down. I want to leave you off with that thought, and wonder how you, too, can live a lie well-lived as w did. https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/39614/files/523975/download?download_frd=1