Taormina 1 Professor Thigpen Moreau 19 November 2021 Learning and Growing from Encounters Throughout the few months I have been at Notre Dame thus far, I have encountered a variety of situations and environments that have allowed me to learn and grow as a person. When first arriving at Notre Dame, I had set expectations for myself, the people I would meet, the classes I would take, and the environment of the school in general. One prominent expectation I had coming to Notre Dame was that I would fall behind my fellow students, which led me to believe that I did not deserve to go to Notre Dame. This inability to believe that a person’s success is well-deserved, also known as imposter syndrome, was discussed in week nine. Elizabeth Cox spoke on the idea that it is very common for people to feel that they deserve their accomplishments during her Ted Talk “What is Imposter Syndrome?” (“What is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox – Moreau FYE Week Nine). Cox also found that while imposter syndrome is popular amongst all people, it is especially evident in underrepresented or minority groups. Because we are not aware of how hard other people have worked for their accomplishments, it is human nature to downplay our own accomplishments. While this idea is labeled imposter syndrome, it is important to remember that this feeling is universally felt. Imposter syndrome is not a disease or mental illness, and it does not have to be tied to feelings of depression. While these expectations tend to manifest inside of people and develop imposter syndrome, letting go of expectations can be very freeing. In her article “Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit,” author Julia Hogan gives several examples which prove that societal expectations are arbitrary (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Taormina 2 Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Nine). Once I learned to let go of the negative expectations I had for myself in relation to the other students at Notre Dame, it gave me peace of mind and allowed me to truly believe that I belong here. People spend so much time and effort not only trying to meet their own expectations, but especially the expectations of others and society in general. While it can be very difficult, trying to let go of these expectations will immensely improve one’s mental health and attitude. Because of these expectations set by society, a person can sometimes encounter struggles and obstacles. While Notre Dame’s community and environment provide everything a student needs in order to succeed, it is common and natural for people to encounter sadness. When someone encounters difficulty in their life, it is crucial that they utilize a healthy outlet to both let out anger and grow and recover from the experience. During week ten, we learned about Kintsugi art, which is a method people can use to heal when they encounter brokenness. Kintsugi is the art of breaking a piece of pottery and putting the pottery pieces back together with gold. The idea behind the breaking of the pottery is to embrace one’s flaws or imperfections and remember the struggles from which they overcame. There is a clear parallel between physically putting the piece of pottery back together and mentally putting one’s positive mentality back together after overcoming an obstacle. A touching theme of Kintsugi art is that the new piece of pottery is even stronger and more beautiful than it was before because of the previous state of brokenness. In the video, Kirsten Helgeson draws a parallel a broken piece of pottery and a broken heart (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” – Moreau FYE Week Ten). She emphasizes the importance of a person learning that not only is their heart breakable, but also that is had the ability to be repaired. https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Taormina 3 Being surrounded by a strong and uplifting community had made a huge difference in my experience at Notre Dame. In reference to week eleven, author Parker J. Palmer speaks about what a community should look like and offers various perspectives on the idea of a proper community. One aspect of community that Palmer speaks on is leadership and what leadership should look like in order to help a community flourish. “Leadership for community consists in creating, holding, and guarding a trustworthy space” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This statement resonated with me in that before coming to Notre Dame, the only space where I truly felt like I could be fully myself without judgement was around my family. In order to create a trustworthy space, people need to feel as though they are not going to be judged or excluded. The people I have gotten to know and the friends I have made at Notre Dame all exemplify what love and acceptance of all people looks like. It is because of this that not only is the Notre Dame community so strong, but also all of the smaller communities within Notre Dame. My time at Notre Dame has not only allowed me to grow as a person, but it has given me hope for my growth in the future. One of the readings included in week twelve was “The Screwtape Letters.” In “The Screwtape Letters,” author C.S. Lewis briefly spoke about the continual change that a person experiences, which can be tied to the idea of hope. Lewis claims that “while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change” (“The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). This quote reminds the audience that people are always changing and evolving, which is a good thing. Change can give hope for the future whether one’s current circumstances are good or bad. Having hope during times of turbulence can be the reason that a person overcomes the obstacle; because hope allows one to http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188541?module_item_id=105321 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188541?module_item_id=105321 Taormina 4 know that things will get better in the future. One way a person can have hope is through their faith. One of the main ideas of “Hope- Holy Cross and Christian Education” that Fr. James B. King speaks about is a Christian’s calling and their likeness to God (“Hope – Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Knowing that God has created every human in his own image of love and charity can give a person a sense of hope and comfort during difficult times. A unique and special characteristic of Notre Dame is the presence of faith on campus. While it is not forced upon students, faith is present to provide students with an uplifting community, which can give Notre Dame students specifically a sense of love and belonging. The presence of the Notre Dame community gives me a sense of hope; and I know that if I encounter dissonance and brokenness, I can use the lessons I have learned throughout Moreau to overcome obstacles with a positive mindset. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188503?module_item_id=105314 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188503?module_item_id=105314