Moreau Capstone Integration O’Connor 1 Cashel O’Connor Father Kevin Sandberg Capstone Integration 18 April 2022 This is Water: Life as a Fish If I was tasked with providing a succinct summation of my experience in Moreau, both this semester and last, I would describe my journey as, “learning that the world is bigger than just me.” Almost every week, my pre-established beliefs and convictions were challenged by the material, instructor, and classmates. Without this constant exposure to new stories, viewpoints, experiences, and backgrounds, the growth that I experienced over the course of the class would be impossible. My last integration was titled “The Man in the Arena,” in reference to Thoedore Roosevelt’s famous speech. In my paper, I talked about how I saw myself as the man in the arena, with the onus entirely mine to bear as I sought joy. Now, I realize that I only managed to answer the first of Father Himes’s three questions: Is this a source of joy? (Week 3). Blinded by my focus on myself, I managed to bypass the third–and most important–question: Is this role a genuine service to the people around you, to society at large? That is what I seek to answer in this paper, namely, “what is water?” To continue on the path of reflecting upon my past and criticizing it in the hopes of learning from it (what I now see as the proper interpretation of “The Man in the Arena” speech), I want to put my first integration, from the fall semester, under the microscope. In it, I say that “at the end of my journey to self-actualization, I see myself as a vintager in the vineyard of my mind: happily harvesting the sweet, succulent fruits of my labor as I reflect blissfully on the journey of self-actualization I have just completed” (Integration 1). Oh how naive! O’Connor 2 Self-actualization, I now realize, can never come simply from my own actions and labors, for humans by nature are social beings and happiness is inherently derived, whether in some great or small quantity, by others and our impact in their life. In his comments to me on this first, primitive integration, Father Kevin continued with the wine metaphors and introduced the word sommelier, which means wine servant. It may have taken two semesters and two more integrations, but I finally have found the perfect application for the word in regards to my own life and my own future aspirations. Self-actualization–which I now define as joy–is still to be a vintager in the vineyard of my own mind, yes, but instead of harvesting the fruits of my labor I am harvesting the fruits of my experiences, reflecting on all I have done, and then becoming a sommelier myself. A wine servant; however, in this application I am not serving wine, but instead the lessons I have learned over the course of my life. Whether that is as a teacher, a parent, a husband, a coach, or a mentor I am not sure yet. The key takeaway here is that I will have lived my life with the knowledge that life itself is bigger than just me and my own needs. The title of this paper is, in itself, a metaphor for the fact that the world is bigger than just me. In week 1, I talked about the dilemma I am faced with in both major selection and, more broadly, career discernment. I spoke about “hopping off the treadmill” and doing something of my own volition, which was adding PLS as a second major (Week 1). The idea of the clash between taking either the finance route or the liberal arts route is one that has come up in the majority of my reflections, and I feel as if, now more than ever, I am truly equipped to be able to give an answer. The first step to this realization was in week 4, when I decided that making a living and making a meaning were connected. I was left with the question of what gave me this conviction, and I realize now that fulfillment is what I ultimately desire, and, looking around, the most fulfilled people I know are those both simultaneously making a living and making a O’Connor 3 meaning (Week 4). How to do this I am not sure, but I do believe what Deresiewicz said in his paper on Solitude and Leadership: there is more to life than just being an “excellent sheep” (Week 7). Somehow I have to find a way to break out of the routine. I love that this is applied to leadership as well, for leading is a great way to have an impact on more people than just yourself (Week 7). I am not saying that I have to become a vigilante, but more of an iconoclast. Perhaps that is why I have always loved the villain archetype, as they always seem to be the best at philosophizing, or as Meghan in week 12 put it, “joining up the circles” (Week 12). The most critical aspect of this is of course action, for we lead by example not words. I have a great opportunity moving forward as the president of my residence hall to help others realize that the world is bigger than just us by showing them. In the theme of leadership, I would be remiss if I did not mention empathy. In week 10, I learned about the earnest world changer and the sophisticated pessimist. Both of these stereotypes, Reifenberg claims, are missing the critical ability to “accompany” (Week 10). They either think service is their destiny or service interferes in the lives of others. It takes empathy to be a good accompagnateur. You have to walk in the shoes of those who you are trying to serve to understand how to ensure that their voices are heard. It is not about speaking for others, but instead about enabling others to be heard. Applying this to leadership, since I am elected to serve, it is not about me speaking for my community but instead enabling my community to be heard. (Week 10). Instead of telling them that we are all fish swimming in the same water, I should swim beside them and accompany them while they in turn accompany me. In a more broad sense, taking into account my entire future leads me to my ultimate goal: becoming a professor. I want to come back as the sommelier and share the fruits of my labor with the next generation of students. That is my true capacity for social change. Finally I have O’Connor 4 been able to realize that the greatest joy of all is sharing your experiences with others while simultaneously learning from them. The mentor/mentee relationship that Parks talked about in week 4 is my true path to fulfillment (Week 4). Note that the title is from “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace, a book that I spoke about briefly in my week 6 reflection (Week 6). The metaphor of the fish and the water communicates what I believe Moreau as a course has been trying to tell me all along: life is bigger than just me. I hope to apply this realization as I lead in the future, both short-term as a hall president and long-term as a Notre Dame graduate. To lead in this sense means to lead with action, with empathy, with accompaniment and with many accompagnateurs, and, finally, to lead both as a mentee and a mentor. Now I have answered Father Himes’s third question. Remember, we are all swimming in the same water.