Week 13-Integration 2 Pozzi 1 Megan Leis Moreau First Year Experience 3 December 2021 Not a Goodbye, But Rather a See You Later As leaves fall off the trees and the weather turns to a blustery cold, mother nature serves as a reminder that the first semester of Freshman year is drawing to a close. It seems that it was just yesterday when I received my college acceptance letter and first set foot on campus. As winter break draws near, it is a time for reflection on the experiences encountered throughout the semester to feel grounded and prepared for the rest of my college experience at the University of Notre Dame. Most do not know about competitive gymnastics and how it forms and, arguably, deforms the human spirit. At age 17 months, I entered my first gymnastics class and 12 years later escalated to competitive state championships and podium finishes till early high school. Gymnastics was my life at the expense of school sports, robotics, debate teams, dances, and Friday nights; it taught me incredible courage, fearlessness, and adorned me with very thick skin. Everyday, year round, my body performed 4-5 hours of strength, conditioning, bone pounding flips, multiplied by 14 years all the while balancing an advanced course load. The goal is not to have the fastest time nor score in the net. The goal is to not make an error. I am perfect when I march out onto the mat prior to the floor routine, or when I place my hand on the beam. Every leg extension, every hand flick, every toe point was under scrutinization. Failures are measured, not minutes, goals nor points, and my job was to overcome. I owe a lot of who I am to competitive gymnastics: my work ethic, attention to detail, dare-devil can-do attitude would not Pozzi 2 exist without the countless hours I spent in the gymnasium. But, there are many things I wish that I didn’t learn: body un-positivity, and perfectionism; you could never work hard enough. Leaving the competitive Gymnastics world was a shock to the system. I still felt everyone was scrutinizing my every move, whether it be about homework assignments or how many times I raised my hand in class. As I struggled to keep up with my own and outside expectations, I began to wonder if “Instead of letting your life be ruled by the expectations of others or your own expectation that you have to be perfect, what if you just did your best?” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” By Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine). Little by little, I am learning to do things for myself rather than for others. I am proud of the true grit I honed from gymnastics and bring this fortitude and courage to all aspects of my life at Notre Dame knowing that it is the ability to push through fear, rather than perfection, that defines success Instead of feeling stressed if my classmates understand the chemistry homework more easily than me, I spend time in office hours and review sessions working through problems until I feel comfortable with the material. I send myself to bed at a more reasonable time to prioritize my mental and physical health rather than nit-picking over spanish essays, knowing sleep will be more valuable to me than any grade. Coming back from break, I plan on joining Notre Dame’s Gymnastics club, hoping to rebuild a more positive relationship with the sport and restore my joy for Gymnastics. “Striving for completeness means spending one’s life as a citizen of this world imitating the person of Christ as the gateway to citizenship in heaven. On this bedrock principle, all faith and thus all human hope rests”(“Holy Cross and Christian Education” By Fr. James B. King, C.S.C - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Like Christ, we should spend our life caring for not only ourselves, but others as well, around the globe. We must have hope of a better tomorrow, and to https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28217/files/192206/download?download_frd=1 Pozzi 3 do so, we must help our neighbors during difficult times the same way we would want to be helped during similar times of struggle. Although contradictory, during the most difficult times of struggle and sadness, we have the most hope. Coming to Notre Dame, I was out of my depth. The COVID-19 pandemic left me out of the classroom and isolated in my home for over a year and a half. I was not expecting such a drastic change so quickly. After studying for a semester abroad in high school, I thought that I would be prepared to live and study independently. With barely a moment to breathe after Welcome Weekend, I was thrown into classes, trying to navigate making new friends for the first time in years and collegiate level academics outside the comfort of my own home. I did not feel like I belonged in the group of friends I was trying to make; rather than feeling comforted I felt more isolated than ever. Everyday, I wondered if I would fit in better at another school, closer to home, closer to friends I already knew I loved and at a school with academics that did not make me question my place every time I stepped into a classroom. Yet, as the semester progressed I realized that “Community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“13 Ways of Looking At Community” By Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Trying to make friends with people that you feel you are supposed to be can be just as draining for others as it is for yourself. It can cause strife and dissonance within a group, and could result in unintentional offense or lashing out. It is important to “relax” into communities, to find the people you truly belong with rather than the ones you assume you do. I became close with people in my dorm after spending time in the same common rooms and classmates that I sat next to and asked questions when confused in chemistry. I found my closest friends when least expected, and the least forced. Now, we study together in the same common room every evening after classes conclude, to work on homework together, or laugh about the http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ Pozzi 4 day's events. After a tough day, I have no doubt about the people and places I can return to, and that fills me with hope that everything will be alright. Just as I would like to receive support from my friends, I would like to lend support to them, too. “‘Gaudium et Spes’ encourages Catholics to engage the human and social sciences as they strive to promote human dignity and justice in society” (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” By Christopher J. Devron, S.J. - Moreau FYE Week Ten). As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” As a white woman, I understand and recognize my privilege, and I try my best to not take it for granted. I feel incredibly grateful for all the opportunities that I have received in life, like going to such an amazing institution like Notre Dame. Yet, not every experience at Notre Dame has been a positive one. In theology class, I faced questions and unwarranted comparisons about my untraditional faith. While walking to North Dining Hall, a male classmate expressed he felt that his future wife would be saddled with the sole responsibility of cleaning and cooking in their home. I found myself having to explain why when walking back to my dorm from the library at night I walk behind the dome rather than cut directly through God Quad because there is much better lighting. However, I also have never encountered a more supportive community than I have on Campus. Students go out of their way to check in with others to make sure they are feeling ok during class and football games. If someone needs help with anything, no less than three people offer solutions, anywhere from lending a pencil to offering a ride home. It is extremely important to both recognize and understand the diverse experiences of students at Notre Dame to be able to better support our community members. Everyone deserves the chance to pursue every opportunity they wish, and when something prohibits that from happening through threats and discrimination of human rights, that cannot be left unchecked. Although https://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19651207_gaudium-et-spes_en.html https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 Pozzi 5 change is sometimes hard, it is necessary, especially when it involves the welfare of our fellow community members. Through open dialogue, I hope that we can make Notre Dame a community that is safe and welcoming for every viewpoint, religion, political affiliation, and personal experience. Although I have just begun my Notre Dame journey, I am excited where my experiences will lead me as I foster new life-long friendships, unforgettable memories, and an emotional and academic understanding of the Irish community. By reflecting on my first semester experiences, I hope to not only continue promoting self-growth but also contribute to the Notre Dame community in a positive way with exponential effects on the Fighting Irish and beyond.