Elena Que Maria Finan Moreau FYE 3 December 2021 New Community, New Challenges Since coming to Notre Dame, I’ve encountered all sorts of new experiences that have significantly affected my personal growth. From staying up until 3am studying for a chemistry test, to attending daily mass, to listening to Taylor Swift’s new album at midnight with my friends, I’ve grown spiritually, academically, and socially. Although I came to college knowing that I wouldn’t leave as the same person, I already feel like I’ve been shaped by my experiences here. In the past three months, I have encountered both a new community and new challenges, bringing new perspectives that have deepened my understanding of myself and the world around me. My college journey, however, is just beginning, and I know I will continue to make new discoveries in the years to come. There is little doubt that the past few months have brought me reeling face to face with a brand-new community. From acquaintances to close friends, professors to mentors, roommates to sisters, my relationships with others are ever changing and growing stronger. This is an essential part of my personal journey, for as Parker J. Palmer notes in ‘Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community,’ “I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). As a fairly introverted person, I never loved to interact with many people outside of my close social circle, but I’ve learned that in a community, people serve many different purposes and it’s not always about being as close as possible to every person. Some people are meant to be close friends, some are meant to be simply classmates, and some are http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ meant to be a friendly wave in passing. Particularly after going from living with just my parents in a two story house to suddenly living with hundreds of strangers, I felt the impact of that new community. I can confidently say, however, that the dorm community has been nothing but positive. My closest friends now live just down the hall from me, and I find myself being able to turn to them at any time of day (or night). Whether this means asking for help on a math problem or needing advice about something personal, I have never felt more supported. While there are still plenty of people in my hall that I have yet to become close to, I’m always looking forward to the opportunity to get to know them better, and there’s never a shortage of hall events to give me that chance. Outside of the dorm, the community is just as strong. In my classes, everyone is willing to be collaborative and supportive, regardless of how well we know each other. When a test is coming up, or there’s a tough homework assignment, it’s never difficult to find someone will to study or lend a helping hand. Although I’m still hesitant at times to reach out to others in fear that they won’t be interested in working together, I’ve learned that that is rarely the case and I’m learning to take initiative in building that community. Of course, becoming part of a new community also means becoming more vulnerable to the pressures and expectations of others. Sometimes it can be hard to toe the line between fitting in with others while still staying true to my own identity, but Julia Hogan points out in ‘Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit’ that “You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life — you’re living someone else’s life” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine). It takes unique identities to form a functional community, and it’s important to remember that I bring a new perspective and personality to the group that I shouldn’t try to hide. If anything, my exposure to so many new people has given me a firmer grasp of my own https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau beliefs and ideas while also keeping me open minded to the opinions of others. In this way, my new community has helped me more highly value collaboration and honesty. From swaying back and forth to the Alma Mater after the football games to studying together in the library long after the sun goes down, there are countless moments where I feel the impact of this new community, and I’m eager to continue to grow along with it in the future. On the other hand, the move to Notre Dame has led me to encounter new challenges as well. Particularly in the scope of comparing myself to others as I try and make new friends, there has been a fair share of difficulties. This was especially prevalent in the first month or so, when imposter syndrome strongly affected me. It was so easy to see others as above me and think of myself as inferior, and I often found myself in a negative and unproductive headspace. Yet as C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters, “It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be” (The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). One of the best ways to cope with this struggle, I found, was time to myself, and that often meant a trip to the Grotto – somewhere I could find peace and get away from the chaos of everyday life. In this way, I was able to turn my struggle into chance to grow closer to God. While I don’t think imposter syndrome has disappeared, it’s significantly decreased in the past few months, and I’m grateful to have overcome that challenge and feel as though I’ve grown stronger because of it. Beyond that, I’ve also encountered challenges in balancing my priorities. Between classes, homework, clubs, and social opportunities, there have been times where it’s been hard to determine what my top priority should be, and often has felt like there simply aren’t enough hours in the week to get it all done. But as Fr. John Jenkins points out in the ‘Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement Address,’ “There is no law of motion in the physical universe that guaranteed https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28298/files/186733?module_item_id=103506 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28298/files/186733?module_item_id=103506 https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ that you would end up where you are today. More likely, the many demands of life were pushing you in other directions, and you pushed back” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement Address” by Fr. John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten). This drives the point home that life is by no means easy and it takes determination and grit to be fulfilled. And sometimes, that is enough. Even if it isn’t always clear if the right decision is to get an extra hour of sleep or spend that time studying, the intention is good. Life is chaotic, and there are many forces working against our success, but we do what we can to be successful. This was an important lesson for me to learn, because being successful doesn’t always mean being at the top of every class, but sometimes just means putting in my best effort. And if that means getting extra rest instead of going to a club meeting, then that’s okay. Even though there are still times that I have to make sacrifices when organizing my priorities, I’ve found a good balance where I feel fulfilled while still being successful in the various areas of my life. College has not come without challenges, and I know there will be more to come, but I’m equipped to tackle them and prepared to grow along the way. From adjusting to a new community to facing various challenges, the past few months have been nothing short of eventful. But each of these experiences, whether more internal or external, have taught me a valuable lesson and irreversibly changed me, arguably for the better. College is a time of growth and discovery, and I’ve already felt the effects of this. I look fondly on the past few months and feel proud of how I’ve grown, and I look ahead to a bright future full of new opportunities to continue to grow.