John Graney

Growth, Experience, and Openmindedness: The Building Blocks of My Inner Self

Belief #1: I believe that I grow by opening myself up to the uncomfortable side of the world.  

"Our Job is to say you (children) are imperfect and you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging”(“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One).  This quote is from week one of Moreau and comes from Dr. Brene Brown who believes we should approach the raising of children into our world.  Many new parents hope to protect, and keep the idea of struggle as far away from the lives of their children as possible.  With the technology, and attitudes of a lot of parents, it is becoming more and more feasible for parents to keep their children within the bubble of protection that they hope to provide.  This question of whether or not to allow for certain amounts of struggle in the lives of your own child is extremely difficult because as adults we have felt the pain of shame, and struggle, and as loving parents we don’t want our children to experience those feelings at all.  But this quote brings back the idea that vulnerability is needed for feelings such as joy and happiness to be present, and to take away the negative aspects of vulnerability will take away the positive as well.  So as I grow into an adult and become a parent one day, I think that what Dr. Brown will remain extremely important as she instructs us to realize that your child is not perfect, and accept the fact that they will face difficult times, but always be ready to be by their side, and make it known to them that they are not alone and that they are loved. 

“I am from a man,
Strong and loyal to what he believes,”

I pull this quote from my poem in week six and the man I am referring to is my father.  My dad is a persuasive man who does not waiver from the feelings that he holds.  One of these very strong feelings is my fathers belief in exposure to the harsh realities of this world.  He has always felt that I should experience things for myself and make my own decisions about my feelings on the matter.  He’s encouraged me throughout my life to be vulnerable and put myself out there to be uncomfortable, but I know that he will always be there by my side the moment that I need him to be.  “Adam 1 (creator of innovation) is built by building on your strengths, Adam 2 (internal goodness) is built by fighting your weaknesses” (“Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2).  Although my dad has probably never seen the video from which this quote came, he has pushed me to develop both of these aspects of myself. As a kid I would get upset with my dad for making me do things that I wasn’t good at or didn’t want to do, but now as I have grown I know that he was looking for me to develop perseverance and grow through these uncomfortable situations.  

Throughout my life he has shown me what it means to be a man and what it means to be a father; and I will always love him for the dedication he has given to me to push me to pursue the creation of the best possible person that I can be.  



Belief #2: I believe that in-person, true living cannot be replaced by a life of illusion.  

	“Attention is one of the rarest forms of love” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship” by Olivia T Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4).  This quote speaks to me more today than ever before.  With the abundance of social media, and phone usage that we see today, peoples’ attention is spread extremely thin. People are constantly checking their phones and this detachment from reality shows that person's lack of respect for the people, and the world around them.  I understand that in the times that we live, technology cannot be avoided, but every now and then it is important to pay attention to the world around you, and take a moment to let the beauty, and love of the people in your life fill your soul.  Attention truly is one of the rarest forms of love, and it is a variety of love that I hold with extremely high regard in my life, because attention to the world around me has also allowed for me to tap into my spirituality that is present within the real world.  

I think that this quote truly speaks to this connection to our attention to the world around us and our spirituality.  “Spiritual life is not a private and secret place in our hearts. … Spirituality concerns the real world, and how we see it, how we do it, how we approach it” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by Professor David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week 3). The disconnection between spirituality and the real world is something that I see all over the world with many people leading their lives with the belief that their spirit is something dormant within themselves that they put on along with their church clothes every Sunday. However spirituality is something that is always present in every aspect of our lives no matter how small or insignificant that moment may be. Our attention to these moments within our lifes is the key to experiencing this spirituality. 


Belief #3: I believe that to succeed in the future, we must learn to forget the biases of our past.

“When life comes to teach you a lesson, you will repeat the class if you don’t pass the test” (“2021 Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5).  This quote from Carla Harris at her 2021 Laetare Medalist address and it speaks volumes on my belief that we must accumulate knowledge from every aspect of our past in order to be successful in our future, but for us to truly bring out the full potential of our knowledge we must also learn to forget the biases that fill our lives.  Many people like to believe that they live completely free of bias, because an admittance to bias makes us feel weak minded, but biases are truly unavoidable.  The author of How to Think about Implicit Bias says that “many of us are more biased than we realize” (“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” By Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week 7).  Although this fact may be true, the important thing for us as people with bias, is realizing that we have them.  So that we can remove these biases from our future endeavors and become truly successful individuals.