Moreau Integration Paper #1 Professor Retartha Moreau First Year Experience 15 October 2021 Uplifting Roots From New Jersey to Notre Dame I believe that our relationships are what make our lives full. I believe that our ability to empathize with and respect others gives us humanity and the ability to create real relationships. I believe that I have a responsibility to remind others that they are valued. Throughout my first few weeks of college, these root beliefs have helped me to adjust to this new environment and stay true to myself. Growing up, I’ve always been super close with my family. From Friday night dinners to Sunday soccer games to Disney family reunions, I’ve always enjoyed spending time with my parents and siblings. As a result, one of my root beliefs is that our relationships are what make our lives full. Whenever school stressed me out or I was facing a hard decision, my family was there to help me through it. Whenever I needed an ice cream fix or an ear to listen, my friends were always there for me. My relationships with both my family and friends have played a huge role in my happiness. Therefore, one of the hardest adjustments coming to college has been being so far away from my family. I call my parents and sisters weekly, but eight weeks is a long time to go without a hug from Mom or Dad. So, I’ve tried to put myself out there and make new relationships. Fortunately, by coming in through the Gateway program I’ve entered college with a built in support network and family. Like Dr. Brown says in her TedTalk, “I know that vulnerability is kind of the core of shame, fear, and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of worthiness, of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love, and I think I have a problem” ("The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). Due to our common vulnerabilities and fears as members of the 9.0 Gateway cohort, everyone in the program has become a quick friend. Being in the same boat of not quite making it to Notre Dame has brought us together. Like Dr. Brown says, our vulnerabilities have led to the creation of much good: strong and supportive friendships. And while I am extremely grateful for all of the friendships I have created through the Gateway program, I’ve also tried to expand my horizons and look for meaningful relationships elsewhere on campus. Coming to Notre Dame, I knew that I wanted to join a club sport. I like to stay active, but I struggle to hold myself accountable to run each day or go to the gym. So what better way to stay active than to join a club sport that meets regularly for practice!? On the day of the club fair, the Ultimate Frisbee club seemed super welcoming and fun. At first I was nervous to go to practice as I knew my frisbee skills were sub-par, but I wanted to work on building one of my lesser skills—bravery. According to the VIA Character Strengths Survey, while I am competent in “love, fairness, and self-regulation”, I struggle with “bravery” (“VIA Character Strengths Survey” by VIA Institute on Character - Moreau FYE Week Two). Thus, I decided to conquer my fears and give it a go—and I am so happy that I did. This past weekend I went to my first ever ultimate frisbee tournament and had so much fun. I would have never gained that experience or new friends if I didn’t put myself out there. After my experience with joining Ultimate Frisbee and trying something new for the first time, Father Pete’s advice from week three really resonated with me: “The greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self-discovery” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week Three). Navigating new friendships, classes, and hobbies this year has taught me a lot about myself, and I am fully enjoying every minute of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3 https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register?registerPageType=popup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs This first root belief has definitely helped me to adjust to this new environment, and I find that my second one has too. I believe that our ability to empathize with and respect others gives us humanity. Additionally, it is through both empathy and respect that we can build authentic relationships. On move-in day, I met a lot of new people. As I worked to make friends, move-in day gave me the opportunity to reflect on what qualities define a good, stable relationship. One way we can develop these authentic relationships is through respect. We can do so by giving those around us our full, undivided attention. Like Olivia Taylor says, “Attention is one of the rarest forms of love” (“5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). In an authentic relationship, we care about what our friends have to say. By giving our peers the attention they deserve, we show them that we respect them and what they have to say. Other ways we show respect are by sticking to plans and refraining from spreading rumors. In addition to respect, I believe that an authentic relationship requires an aspect of empathy. We can do this by listening to each others’ stories and trying to put ourselves in the shoes of others. Everyone comes from a different background and in a new environment such as college, we need to empathize with each other’s stories so that we can best support each other. Empathy is especially important in relationships where people don’t share extremely similar backgrounds. “It would be comforting to conclude, when we don’t consciously entertain impure intentions, that all of our intentions are pure” (“How to Think about Implicit Bias” by Keith Paybe, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week Seven). I know that I owe it to my friends, peers, and everyone else to listen to each other’s stories instead of judging each other based on stereotypes. We are all unique and different; this is what makes a relationship so fun! I https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ have found a great friend in my roommate, and I believe that at the root of this newfound friendship, I can find these values of respect and empathy. Finally, my third root belief is that I have a responsibility to remind others that they are valued and worthy. When arriving in new environments, we sometimes struggle to adapt. It can be disheartening and make it easy to forget your worth. As a friend, I feel that it is my duty to remind everyone that they are worthy and wonderful people. I’ve noticed, especially with Gateways worried about making the 3.5 GPA, that a major source of feeling unworthy is grades. I always try to remind them that grades don’t define you. As Father Grove says, “Our lives are not our resumes” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week Five). It’s ok to mess up. We don’t have to be perfect. This is something I myself am also trying to work on. When you pour your heart and soul into working to obtain a certain grade, it can be upsetting when you miss the mark, but I am trying to learn that one assessment does not demonstrate my full potential or knowledge. George Ella says, “No one else sees the world as you do; no one else has your material to draw on” (“Where I'm From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six). It’s important to remember that we are all unique and different, and that’s what makes us special. We each contribute something to this world that no one else can, and I believe that that makes us worthy. Our unique stories make us valuable people to this world and one bad test score, one mistake, won’t change that. I’ve always lived with these root beliefs, but I don’t think I ever really recognized them or put the ideas into words until the Moreau First Year Experience course. As I’ve adapted to this new environment, I am grateful for how these root beliefs have helped me to assimilate and I hope that I can rely on them to help me conquer any new challenges I face in the future. I am https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html excited to see how these root beliefs change over the next four years and to discover which new root beliefs form.