Week 8 - Integration 1 - Moreau - Growing Mentally Throughout my first two months at Notre Dame, I was given the chance to literally become a new person. All the stereotypes that I held on to as a high schooler, all the traits that I was connected to, and the person that others perceived me as were wiped clean. I could start from scratch, but I realized that it was easiest to be myself. However, Notre Dame, IN is a much different environment than San Diego, CA. Would I fit in, and would I connect with people? “Is there something about me that [makes me] unworthy of connection?(“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One) What makes me, me may or may not be appealing to others. For this reason, it can be difficult for some to “fit in” when they move somewhere else or go off to college. The idea of social acceptance is extremely important in the world and can be applied to other animals, not only humans. Our need to belong and be accepted by others is something taken very seriously whether we want to or not. I can choose to act as myself, or through another personality that I think will make me appealing to others. Believing in yourself that you are enough requires a lot of confidence. Through this mentality, I believe that I am content with my identity. If I already act how I wanted people to perceive me, why did I become a new person regardless of the fact that I didn’t consciously act differently? Some examples are stereotypes that stuck. I once was a 4’11” freshman in high school. Because of that, I was always “short”. Now that I’m in a new environment, nobody has really made a comment since my height isn’t that unusual anymore. How new people view me from the outside is different than how I see myself. “We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value. (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy? By David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two)” Every person is perceived differently, and one of my friends most likely thinks of me in an entirely different context than another friend does. I believe that I grow mentally, as experiences shape my view and attitude. Part of the reason I attended Notre Dame was to put myself in a different situation and get away from home. By gaining a new perspective, I would grow as a person. Discovery of myself, as I learned to grow as a person away from home, and discovery of the world and people around me. I still believe that over 50% of college is learning to live in the real world, and not just learning for a profession. I chose to attend Notre Dame because I believed it would best prepare me for the world in more ways than one. “The most important thing in life is the journey of self-discovery. (“The Role of Faith in our Story by Fr. Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week Three)” Father Pete connected self-discovery, especially through faith, to untying a knot in your shoelaces. Everyone’s journey is different, and even problems that arise more than once need to be approached in different ways. Meeting new people and going about life with a different routine has changed me as a person, and I believe that it is for the better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28314/modules/items/105568 Meeting other people has been the most unique, exciting, time consuming, and fun thing about college so far. Friendships form in the most unique and unthinkable ways, and it’s likely that some will last for a lifetime. Friendships range from meeting someone at a party, to sitting next to them in class, to living under the same roof with them. “The best kind of friendships are the ones … knowing you’re both growing to be better people and that you’re helping each other get there.” (“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships - by the Red Flag Campaign - Moreau FYE Week 4) If both people are improving and becoming better people by surrounding themselves with positivity and success, everyone wins. Undoubtedly, college is the best place to find these types of friendships. You go to a school with people that are like-minded, for the most part. You know that the people that attend Notre Dame are intelligent; academically and otherwise. It brings people together not by chance, but by the effort and talent they have put in over the course of their lives. I believe that friendships formed here are special not only because of the person, but the community that surrounds them. Especially in the social environment today, it becomes increasingly difficult to find someone that sees eye-to-eye with you, some even going as far to attempt to worsen your life because of differing views. I have found, however, that in the community of Notre Dame, the majority of people will set differences aside. Notre Dame itself is a catholic school, but those who do not share its views are encouraged in their own way. “We cannot love the God whom we do not see, if we do not love the brother whom we do see.” (Two Notre Dames - Your Holy Cross Education by Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week 5) This is an especially powerful statement, as it shows your actions in the world are what really reflect who you are. Whether you believe in one kind of afterlife or another, or even none at all, your actions on earth will show who you really are as a person. I believe that my actions make me who I am, and I will treat everyone with similar respect. As referenced previously, it is good to assume that everyone means the best and tells the truth. We hope that others mean the best, even when they may hurt another in the process. As humans, it is moral to behave in a way that is peaceful to all. Sometimes this is not possible, and it is an entirely different philosophical conversation about what is moral and what is not. “It isn’t nice to think that we aren’t nice.” (How to Destroy Truth by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 7) Truth is a slippery slope of psychology, philosophy, and ethics. Truth can be subjective, and truth can be different to other people. For this reason, we must ask ourselves what our truth is, and have the knowledge that our truth is likely different from our friend’s truth. I believe that I can learn from others by understanding their differences and growing from them.