Moreau Integration 1 - Sandy Nam Nam 1 Seungyeon Nam Professor Espeseth Moreau FYE 15 October 2021 Live Love, Love Life Frankly, I would be lying if I said I was happy to take the Moreau course as a sophomore, when I had already moved on from my first experiences and interactions as a freshmen and was ready to embrace the next step. Yet, I came to accept the fact that it was still technically my first year on campus. Surprisingly, through the weekly Moreau reflections, I had time to reflect on my own beliefs and values that I had developed over my time at the university. Moreover, I could realize how much I had grown over my past semester here. I developed personal beliefs, values, and life goals that I now look forward to, which are definitely not permanent but things that I currently live based upon and drive my life. Something I have come to believe as an international student living abroad—apart from close families, friends, and surroundings—is that having a healthy source of love is integral to life. Last semester, when I came to Notre Dame, I was very lonely. Covid-19 not only generated physical diseases but also emotional ones. Social distancing and masks made me struggle to build new relationships and form friendships. Therefore, I tended to get depressed a lot, but my friends and families through zoom was where I found comfort as I adjusted on campus. The love I found in such connections was what supported me. “To love is to will the good of another” (Faith Brings Light to a Dark World by Professor David Fagerberg, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Three). This quote reached out to me because I have been searching through the different definitions, both subjective and objective, of love for a long time. Especially after coming to the https://bit.ly/2MwCxs4 Nam 2 U.S. and being reliant upon the power of love, I was motivated to discern what love truly is. David Brooks also said that forgiveness is another expression of love: “...we must be saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness” (Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy? by David Brooks, TED- Moreau FYE Week Two). With reference to both Professor David Fagerberg and David Brooks, I have concluded that love unconsciously drives a deep sense of empathy for another. With love, we come to stand in another’s shoes (at the end), and we need such support and understanding from another in our lives. Love is something we live for and can’t (shouldn’t) live without. All healthy relationships involve love as an important element. It’s a selfless support and a wholesome emotion, a connection between people that we need to feel alive. In order to have love, you need someone to love or to be loved by (i.e. relationships). Here, I believe that relationships require effort. Something I have noticed after coming to college was that some relationships inevitably fade away. They were relationships that I didn’t put effort into, relationships that I later realized were people I didn’t care about or didn’t care about me. Healthy forms of love do not arise from shallow or unhealthy relationships. They naturally emanate from relationships I would return to just because I understand the value and importance within it. After all, love is a strange thing. It is an intangible component of our life that we yearn for, share with, and sometimes get scarred from. When we love someone, we naturally desire reciprocity of such devotion, whether it be from a partner, a family member, or friends. Yet, if such reciprocity turns out to become a tool for abuse, love begins to sharpen and widen our vulnerability to others. It is such a delicate emotion that is hard to control and, therefore, requires proper manner of delivery and acceptance. Love can never be a reason for abuse, control, or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM Nam 3 manipulation. As powerful as it can be, it should always be shared in a healthy and equal behavior. Love is a justification for connection, not manipulation. One must realize that love arises from relationships. Relationships should not arise behind the mere wording of ‘love’. “Because I love you” is never enough to continue unhealthy relationships ("Because I Love You, Double Whiskey" by One Love Foundation - Moreau FYE Week Four). Relationships first, love after; to reach love, a relationship requires reciprocal efforts. It is hard to find love in relationships. What’s even harder is to build any relationships in the first place. As I had said before, my initial experience on campus was slightly depressing in terms of social life. For campus life, I expected multiple friendships and social interactions that would fill up my life, but it was quite the opposite. And I tended to blame the circumstances a lot: mid-year, covid-19, and winter. However, spending my second semester on campus, I have realized that I should be the one held accountable for my relationships. “They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful...They talked about it being necessary.” (The power of vulnerability by Brené Brown- Moreau FYE Week One). I was hesitant to reach out to others because I was scared they might not reciprocate or take me as a weird individual. Willingness to invest in something that was open-ended and willingness to reach out without expecting anything in return is something I have feared of. Nonetheless, it is necessary to overcome such fear to live the social life I’ve dreamed of. This semester, I have taken the role of an ‘International Ambassador’, which allowed me to practice such skills to people coming to campus. Through the experience, I’ve made so many connections with friends that I was able to develop some among them into deep connections I value. Vulnerability is certainly a skill of courage that would open one’s doors to many more connections and opportunities. One thing I realized was that such vulnerability comes under the umbrella of open-mindedness. “Unfortunately, we can’t https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o Nam 4 conclude that: many of us are more biased than we realize. And that is an important cause of injustice—whether you know it or not.” ("How to Think About 'Implicit Bias'" (by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, and John M. Doris, Scientific American - Moreau FYE Week Seven). It is hard to trace our heads back to the truth sometimes, as it is often obscured by our own disbelief upon personal corruption and ill-nature. I have also avoided a part of me who had the initial condescending reactions or ready assumptions on particular types of people because I knew it was a bad habit. However, I think the best way to handle myself and such biases is to confront it. While we should accept the fact that such thoughts inevitably arise in our brains as human nature, it is our responsibility and accountability to choose how we would act upon it. I believe that this way, I can only make my opportunity window wider and myself more accessible to others. Throughout my integration assignment, I have mainly talked about my beliefs upon love and relationships. It wasn’t necessarily about how I can do better in my academics or succeed in school. That was because of this one belief I was inspired by, “Our lives are not our resumes” ("Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education" by Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week Five). Prior to college, I would consider myself as a calculative person. I thought I needed to be calculative in all aspects of life, even kindness and relationships, in order to succeed. Now as a college student, even with a bigger future goal (medical school) and more tasks on my plate, I no longer think that mere calculations and materialistic interaction in life are what fulfills my life as a human being. Being alive is much more than the cold words of ‘success’, ‘money’, or ‘first place’. In order to live life, I believe that I should not fixate on resumes or accomplishments. I can have a materialistic goal, but that should not triumph over my invaluable treasures of life: love and people. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187