Yusman_Integration 3 Professor Wagner Moreau FYE 3 March 2022 A Hopeful Reflection In beginning to write my Eulogy, it is important to first think about the life I’ve lived as a whole. The life I’ve lived has, and likely will be, one of constant motion, dotted with moments of stillness and thought. Between homework, social obligations, and a need to feel productive at all hours driven into me by years of constant schooling, I rarely find a moment of true quite, but when I do, I try to fill it with reflection. In the article Why we need to slow down our lives, Pico Lyer talk about how sometimes we need to “[not] just do something,” but instead, “Sit there.” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Lyer - Moreau FYE Week 1) By taking time to reflect on my life I choose the direction that it runs, shaping it in ways which my eulogy make come to reflect. It allows me to “craft” the eulogy that may one day be written about me. Directing the author’s stories as though I was the one holding the pen. So we’ve learned how I’ll guide this eulogy of my life, but what will inspire it? I don’t truly know. Fr. Hesburgh, a well known priest and president of the University of Notre Dame, wrote that “[he] wanted to become a navy chaplain, but [his] superiors told [him] no…as time went on [he] came to love teaching…it wasn’t what [he] was expecting, but [he] served in my own way.” (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca - Moreau FYE Week 2) That which he had aspired for was not what he became known for, it was not being a navy chaplain that inspired his life well-lived, but rather teaching and guiding Notre Dame, something that he never could have predicted from the start. Similarly, my life may guide me away from what I think will inspire a https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 life well-lived, and it is something I may only know after it has come to pass. It’s also possible that I may never know it. That I may reach a life well-lived by some seeming accident. In that case I hope that in the perspective of a loved one writing my eulogy that it may become clear. If I do not know what path I may end up on, then how do I know what to follow? What questions may I ask of myself to a life-well lived before death? Sister Aletheia, in her revival of momentum mori, suggests asking “Where am I headed, where do I want to end up?” (“Meet the nun who…” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3) These questions are not perfect, not much that we do can be, but they are a focus on that which is most important. Death. By looking towards my end, I may realize the amount of time I have left, and what I can do with it. Instead of dreaming about what I want to do as though there is infinite time, I may tune my life to the time that I have, making sure to live it well and do the most I can for others in that time. Now that I’ve figured out the time I have left, and properly reassured myself of an inevitable death, what do I do? What are those thing that will form the bulk of my eulogy? The actions that may be spoken of? Well, they likely won’t be too awesome, but I can make sure they’re good and a representation of who I was. Notre Dame’s Center for Career Development says that these options should be framed around my values, interests, personality, and skills(VIPS). (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Notre Dame CCD- Moreau FYE Week 4) These certainly seem like a good starting point. By looking first at my values, I can eliminate those possibilities I may deem immoral, and focus on those that I find to be a good. Then, looking at interests and personality, I pick out those options that I might enjoy and find wonder in. Finally, my skills. Even if I really like something, an essential part of a life well-lived is doing something good with it. In order to do this, I have to be skilled in the subject, or able to learn the skills necessary. Putting all of these together, I may find those choices and paths in life that may https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ guide me in a life well-lived, and be written of in my eulogy for the good that I was able to do for others. So I’ve framed my life, figured out ways to work towards a life well-lived, and I’ve died. Who’s going to write my eulogy? And are they a part of it? What effects did they have on my journey? Will these reflect in my eulogy? I hope so. The friends, family, and love ones necessary to a life well-lived play a major role in the decisions I make, whether they be large or small. And it is only right that the writer of my eulogy comes from someone so close to me. In a conversation with my girlfriend, I was told that “I value the humanity of individuals and feel that many people do not get the respect they deserve.” (Discernment Conversation with Kelsey Goldwein - Moreau FYE Week 5) Although I agree and think this to be true of myself, it is not a way in which I had viewed myself before. I’ve always wanted to help people, but never realized that I focus on the humanity of those I help and the voices of those unheard. This outside perspective that she gave goes right back around to the previously mentioned VIPS, directly affecting the choices I may from here on out, shaping my eulogy through the observations of someone close to me. Looking at my life from a different perspective, what are those obstacles that I must overcome? Surely anything of great difficulty will be mentioned in my eulogy, but are there obstacles that won’t be there? Something that would go unnoticed if I don’t draw attention to it? Yes. The biggest obstacle of my life, and also the one least likely to be mentioned in my eulogy, is myself. I get distracted, procrastinate, and act against my best interests all the time. My over thinking causes anxiety and stress, and I may develop poor coping mechanisms in response. This battle is one ongoing no matter the time of day, and it likely won’t end for the rest of my life, yet it is unseen to most, and with the current stigmas surrounding mental health, not likely to be mentioned in my eulogy, even if the writer knew about it. How, then, may I battle it? Dr. Kim, someone who has faced tremendous adversity in his life and managed to find joy and faith within it, says that in prayer he thinks about “what can [he] do in this moment? How can [he] use these five minutes?” (“5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week 6) These questions certainly won’t make my mental health better in an instant, but they provide a way of fighting it. They redirect a wandering mind from the struggles of life to the tasks at hand, to forging a life well-lived. In addition to battling these mental daemons with work towards a life well-lived, I may seek to ward them off through community. As already discussed, it is the friends, family, and loved ones necessary to a life-well lived that guide me in finding joy and fulfillment. Fr. Greg Boyle wrote that “We seek to create loving communities of kinship precisely to counteract the mounting hopelessness, racism, and cultural disparagement that keeps us apart.” (“Tattoos on the Heart” by Fr. Greg Boyle - Moreau FYE Week 7) In this way these people closest to me serve not only to guide me, but to build me up in joy, love, and community as well. Truly, it is these relationships that are most important, and a eulogy is a reflection of that. Although my eulogy will likely speak of things I’ve done on my own, it will likely, and hopefully, speak more so of what I’ve done for those in my community, what I’ve done with those closest to me. What I leave in this world is a memory of me in the hearts and minds of those I love, and a eulogy is simply a hopeful reflection of that. https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/transform/why-does-god-allow-suffering/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/40253/files/523815/download?download_frd=1 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/40253/files/523815/download?download_frd=1