Integration 2 Moreau Encountering challenges: hope, brokenness, and community Moreau has been a class that really makes you think about who you are, what you believe, what are you struggling with, what are your strengths and weaknesses, the community you live in, your experiences, your feelings. It is a class that invites you to dig deeper and really start finding little pieces, creating connections with yourself. I can say that I enjoyed so much this class, there were questions that I never thought about asking myself. Also, I feel that I got so much advice out from these QQCs and discussions in class. I acquired new tools for my next years in college, and for life. In the last QQCs we talked about how to live according to our own happiness, having hope, living in community, and being able to encounter brokenness. We need to start asking ourselves what WE want to do in life, what are our own expectations. We often create these crazy movies and expectations in our minds trying to fulfill others desires, or what we think they want to see from us. We start living a bad dream, and pressure ourselves to an extent that drives us unstable, leading to mental and physical deterioration. Something that needs to be normalized is to start caring more about how we feel, and not what others think. It is an extremely challenging task, because we have grown up in a society in which we search for approval, we are always trying to fit in that little box of what is supposed to be success, or the perfect person. We try to please the people around us, specially the people we care about, but this needs to stop. It is time to think and focus on ourselves. It will be a process, but not and impossible one. Something that we need to keep in mind is that if the people that surround us really care about us, once we are happy they will support it. At the end of the day, is a matter of having a support system that you know will help you through your roughest times, and will celebrate with you your successes. As mentioned by Julia Hogan: “Not only are these expectations arbitrary, but they will almost always backfire on you. You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life — you’re living someone else’s life.” (Julia Hogan, Grotto text - Week 9). As well, it is not only to think about what we want in life and what makes us happy, we need to start believing in ourselves and have more confidence that we have the qualities and the capability of being part of great things. We have to acknowledge that we have something special to offer to this world. Coming to Notre Dame has challenged the confidence I have in myself of being good enough or having the right qualities to be part of this great institution filled with brilliant minds. Since I got accepted to Notre Dame, I couldn’t believe it. During the week I received the acceptance letter, my brain couldn’t comprehend what had happened. It was so hard for me to assimilate the situation, and now that I’m here I still don’t fully understand how or why I’m here. There is a little voice in my head asking “how did I got here?”, “what did I do to deserve to be here?”, and many other questions. At the same time, I know I have the capacity and qualities to be here, the thing is that I need to start believing it. I do feel it has gotten better, every day I start growing my confidence little by little. I know I have great things to offer, and I will gain that confidence to be able to transmit and share everything I have to offer. As said in the video: “You have talent, you are capable, and you belong.” (Elizabeth Cox, Ted-Ed - Week 9), and this is something that I need to engrave in my head and start believing it. As well something I have learned and I have being working on is finding community when in search for help, going through tough times, or even to celebrate successes. There are several benefits and things that come with forming part of a community, and it is almost inevitable to not form part of a community. First of all, it is crucial for us as a society to stop judging and stereotyping people, we need to work together to find the common good. Our goal should always be to make this world a better place, and to have support systems in which people can rely on. By discriminating, segregating, and creating stereotypes we are just dividing and getting away from opportunities of growth, new relationships, new connections, exposure to new perspectives and new cultures. We become more self aware, more empathetic, more educated, better persons when we are exposed to new things and new people. As said by Prof. Fuentes: “Exposure and access to different point of views and life experiences offers insight and changes biases” (“Diversity Matters!”, Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Week 11). Also, something important that we need to understand is that we are not self-sufficient, all our success wasn’t done just by ourselves. We need other people to challenge us, support us, criticize, encourage us, be there for us (“Thirteen ways of Looking at Community”, - Week 11). In my personal experience, during the weeks after fall break it was really hard for me. I got extremely homesick, and was stressed about my career choice and future plans. I received an amazing support from my family, even though the distance, but I also found community here at Notre Dame, all my friends, my advisor, my RA were people that really supported me and helped go through my tough times. Forming part of a community is priceless, being able to have people that care about you and that are willing to help is a privilege. As well, it is nice to know that I can be there for them as well whenever they need me. Following the idea of struggling and going through hard times, as I mentioned the weeks after fall break were very challenging for me emotionally. When I did Moreau for week 10, I related so much to the topic. The idea that we break sometimes to get back stronger is such a powerful way of thinking, and I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes we feel sadness, brokenness, defeat, and they’re not good feelings, but we need to understand that for us to feel this way we need to have experienced how it feels to be happy,, full of life, and this is something we need to be grateful for. Being able to feel, is an opportunity to grow, to get to know ourselves, to continue fighting everyday to find our happiness. I felt during those weeks that there was a hole in my heart, something very big was missing, my family, my home, my comfort zone. I do feel that as the weeks passed, I started to feel better, I started talking every day with my whole family, parents and sisters. Being in contact with them, calling and texting them was a way for me to feel closer to them. Slowly I felt happier and stronger. I’m still not at my 100%, but I do feel so much better. At the end of the day is a matter of perspective, and I have to keep training my mind and heart. There were 2 quotes from Moreau Week 10 that resonated so much with my situation. The first one from Fr. John Jenkins: “Conviction. It is indispensable to every good deed. It defies the forces of inertia — the prevailing winds and currents that fight to keep everything the way it is, or worse. Without conviction, there would be no hope.” (Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address, Fr. John Jenkins - Week 11). In this quote I felt the inspiration to keep fighting, and that everything was going to be alright if I continue having faith in God and in the process. The second quote was from the video: “I want people to know that their hearts are breakable, and it’s a very good thing, that it is worth celebrating because it allows you to grow and expand and you get to put back your heart together.” (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop”, Grotto - Week 10). This quote is so beautiful because it is a reminder that we are not perfect, and that is okay if we break because we can glue the pieces back together and become better versions of ourselves. Last, but not least, having hope. Having hope and having faith in God is a way of being at peace. We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow or in the next second, we just need to have hope that everything is going to be okay. Being in college is a whole new process, and it can be very overwhelming. The past few weeks, I was very stressed for class registration because I was thinking about changing majors, and deciding some things about my career in the future. Things got out of hand, and I was so overwhelmed and worried about the “what is going to happen?”, about the “what if…”. I had to stop and take a break, I was way ahead of myself and trying to control things that were completely out of my reach. One advice both of my parents gave me was to enjoy the process, and to trust the process. Have hope that everything is going to turn out the way it is supposed to, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t look like it right now. I can say with certainty that having hope and faith in the process is a way to be at peace, and I have to remind that to myself every time I feel I can’t control things and that I’m worrying too much about the future. Just as Fr. James B. Kings said: “The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know. We need to have hope in that process to stick with it, to believe that what is born of questioning beliefs previously taken for granted will lead us to a new and better understanding of our vocation as citizens in this world and for the next.” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education”, Fr. James B. King- Week 12). With hope and faith in God, we can live in the present and enjoy it. We need to have trust that even though the obstacles and challenges, good will come. Citations Julia Hogan, Grotto text - Week 9 Elizabeth Cox, Ted-Ed - Week 9 “Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop”, Grotto - Week 10 Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address, Fr. John Jenkins - Week 10 “Diversity Matters!”, Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Week 11 “Thirteen ways of Looking at Community”, - Week 11 “Holy Cross and Christian Education”, Fr. James B. King- Week 12