Week 8- Integration Three Professor Hnatusko Moreau FYE 4 March 2022 Everywhere you go, there’s always People Carson Daniel Feldman. All of you know him, but you may not know each other. All of you reading this are likely from a different walk of Carson’s life. That is because Carson was a maverick of sorts. A drifter, by circumstance and by choice. With a family in the military he grew up moving from place to place, spending his formative years outside the big apple of New York City, in the southern comfort of Dallas Texas, and back east to the city of brotherly love in Philadelphia. He learned to adapt. With each change, Carson changed; he met new people, tried new foods, got involved in different sports and groups and most importantly, used the positive learning experiences he had to build his character. He made countless connections and tried to always make people feel important just for being themselves. The transition to South Bend Indiana, was just another move for Carson. At least he thought. Upon arriving at Notre Dame, he assumed this would be just like every other move. But for some reason he struggled. A lack of confidence held him back from making new friends, joining new groups and acting the way he normally acted. He was always a dedicated student and that carried on as he achieved high marks his first semester, but it was not nearly as fulfilling. At this time in his life, he felt empty. However, Carson discovered something in his second semester that changed his life and can change all of ours. Remembering all the experiences he had of breaking into new environments, Carson made the brave decision to go to a super bowl party with his roommate. Little did he know that this party would open a new life at Notre Dame. This small action introduced Carson to a new group of incredible friends, people that he felt comfortable with and that he could learn from. He baked with his friends, went on walks, listened to music, and had deep, meaningful conversations. He found that what made him happiest was seeing other people smile. As he grew in confidence he began to branch out in different ways. Becoming more active at church and in his dorm, getting involved on sports teams and introducing himself to unfamiliar faces. He discovered that while he was at Notre Dame for an education, he still had a life to live, and to live a fulfilling life involved offering the best of himself everywhere, all the time. Carson’s transition centers around a two fold change. First a discovery (or rediscovery) of himself. As part of an introductory college course, Carson was tasked with having a meaningful discernment conversation. He chose his mom, because she knows him best. They talked about life and personalities, the positives and negatives, and more importantly how we appreciate the positives and move forward from the negatives to become the person we want to become. Carson is remembered by saying “There are two parts about the future, my circumstances (lifestyle, job, location) and me, and knowing the latter is the best way to prepare for the former” (Moreau FYE Week Five). Carson was an introvert at heart and was very introspective but he channeled that introspection into self improvement, not just in how he could be happier but how he could change to be a person that made others happier. He fully believed that “If we’re not self-aware, it’s almost impossible to master the skills that make us stronger team players… and better relationship builders, either at work or in the rest of our lives.” (“The Right Way to be Introspective” by Tasha Eurech - Moreau FYE Week Six) In speaking with his mom, reflecting on his past experiences, and thinking about how he could serve others Carson started a Sunday tradition. Carson loved desert, and growing up his family had a desert every Sunday night. To carry on the tradition and to brighten the spirits of those around his dorm Carson began baking every Sunday night and leaving the desert on the Sorin community table. Seeing the smiling faces of his new “family” lifted his heart and helped him feel validated in his traditions. Father Michael Himes, advises that “We have to be willing to hear what others need and to give ourselves in response even when our attempt to respond may not be appreciated.” (“Three Key Questions” by Fr. Michael Himes - Moreau FYE Week Three). Carson exemplified https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/files/476425?module_item_id=149885 the principle of courage defined by Fr. Michael Himes. Whether it was that friends were struggling with midterms or the dorm just needed a boost, he offered his response of homemade brownies without expectation of praise but simply for the good of others. Carson knew that you could only discover so much about yourself by baking alone on a Sunday night. He put into practice the words offered by Notre Dame faculty advising that “The only way to know more about yourself is to test the waters - just get out and experience life!” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” - Moreau FYE Week Four). This fueled his confidence to go to the super bowl party, where he met friends that changed the rest of his semester. With his friends he had meaningful conversations, discussing things that were important to him and to them such as faith, family, and even simple things such as “If you were a type of cereal, which would you be?” He loved his friends deeply and they reciprocated the emotion. Oftentimes they would share how when talking with Carson they felt appreciated, little did they know that really they were doing a favor for Him. These connections helped Carson see the best in himself, including what he valued most, and showed him how he could share those things to bring joy to others. When Carson began spending more time with this group he noticed other changes in his life. The monotonous life of schoolwork was now broken up by a lively dinner full of laughs and good music. The kitchen he baked in on sunday nights was now full of new friends to help and to share the treats with. As the other aspects of his life became more balanced, so did his education. No matter what, Carson was always present. When he needed to do homework he did so, knowing that there would be things later to look forward to. When he was with his friends he enjoyed the time, knowing that it was a short break and would help him with the strength he needed to finish the work for the rest of the day. In this way, Carson’s example resembled the experience of Pico Iyer when he says “The more time I spend away from my work, the better that work will be.” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). Living a more fulfilling life overall, helped Carson regain some perspective regarding https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ education and his focus began shifting forward. He was able to be dedicated to his studies and excited about what career they could offer in the future knowing that he felt comfortable in his surroundings at the moment. Carson prioritized people. He sought to serve others however he could while learning and growing from what they had to offer. This was evidenced as he became closer with his friends and with his dorm, but ultimately Carson knew that he was capable of doing more, empowering his deep dive into career discernment. With a people first mindset Carson wanted to reach as many people as possible with whatever work he did. He took things into his own hands to make this happen, challenging himself with difficult classes and taking a variety to see which stuck out to him. He had passion in engineering and saw the application of its problem solving nature to the benefit of the human race. Carson followed the example of Adebola Giwa who said “As a physician I am able to help my community, but as a scientist I am able to help the world.” (Domer Dozen 2019 Honoree Dr. Adebola Giwa - Moreau FYE Week Two). Carson sought this balance in his day to day life, offering service and friendship to those around him in the community while taking school seriously to prepare himself to serve the world one day. School, faith, family, sports, and many more things were important to Carson but they did not represent life to him. What gave Carson life was people. In every where he lived, what turned a place into a home was the people he connected with. He learned this at a young age and made it a part of his character to be a bearer of light and love for those around him. Father Greg Boyle S.J. in his book tattoos on the Heart expresses that “we seek to create loving communities of kinship precisely to counteract mounting lovelessness” (“Tattoos on the Heart” by Fr. Greg Boyle S.J. - Moreau Week Seven) Carson showed us that when we feel lost or feel like we are falling, we can find purpose by realigning our focus beginning inward and extending outward. Carson will forever be remembered as someone who led a life that brought him joy by bringing others joy. In the words of his favorite quote by J.M. Barrie, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6rRN98F_e0 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/41039/files/523771?module_item_id=167900