Integration #2 Pierpoint 1 Professor Retartha Moreau 3 December 2021 How Can Our Responses to Hardships Shape Our Lives? Life is a combination of highs and lows, happiness and sadness, exuberance and pain, but our responses to these experiences prove to be most important in determining our character. Once in a while, it is important to reflect on past experiences and how we have responded to the situation, how that response led to the specific outcome, and how we could have changed or improved our response knowing the current knowledge. Furthermore, with time, certain aspects of life become more clear while others still remain vague and confusing; our beliefs change and we place importance on different facets therefore it is beneficial to self-assess what remains important, and what no longer adds significance to our lives. With age and maturation, I have learned that in order to tangibly see self growth and development, all of the aforementioned assessments can be taken in order to better understand myself and how to become the best version of myself for myself and for others. During my first semester at Notre Dame, I began to reflect on what was important to me during high school and how that has changed or remained the same at ND. In high school, my mental health was not prioritized but rather my academics and extracurricular activities were placed above my happiness, and consequently, I struggled to find what was important to me. I began to link my self-worth with academic/extracurricular success. However, through reflection and personal growth, I now understand that my prior thought processing was toxic and I should have let go of my personal expectations in order to live a more genuine and liberated life. After Pierpoint 2 reading “Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit,” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9) it reminded me that my life is mine to live and I should not be searching for approval or for directionality on how to live life to the fullest. How can I let go of others and my “perfect” expectations: this became a recurring question that I have asked myself this semester. I am now solidifying my belief that the people around me should not have such a momentous impact on my self assurance but rather it is up to me to determine my path in life and how I want to live it. My expectations for myself are still high, but I will not let myself crumble if I do not achieve them to the extent that I desired, and this outcome will allow my mental health to suffer less. This became an important perception as I realize that when I approach new challenges, new opportunities, and new experiences, I will accept them with open arms, but I refuse to allow others opinions to supersede how I want to live my life and this is how I can find what is valuable for my life. As a result of my Notre Dame journey thus far, I have received clarity in regards to my brokenness and in encountering hope in otherwise dim situations. When I watched the video highlighting the Kintsugi workshop that Kirsten Helgeson holds for the women in her community (Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi by Kirsten Helgeson - Moreau FYE Week 10), I really resonated with her attempts to help those struggling with accepting brokenness. I, like many other people, tend to push my feelings below the surface so I don’t have to face them or feel my feelings of anxiety, sadness, pain, even though these are normal human emotions. I have greatly improved in feeling my feelings and accepting them, but I still feel shameful when I have these emotions. The message I took away from her workshop is that I am broken, my heart can be broken, but these fractures allow me to grow and expand as a genuine person. I should not have to feel shame for the feelings that reside deep within me, but rather I can accept the https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/modules/items/106256 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/modules/items/106256 https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Pierpoint 3 feelings, accept the loss, and surrender the turmoil. This clarity will allow me to begin a life that is filled not with regrets, but with genuinity. Furthermore, when these difficult times arise, it is almost laborious to find hope, but with hope in God, we can try to have hope that his path for us will lead us towards satisfaction and happiness. This is a belief that goes back and forth between clarity and ambiguity; when everything seems wrong, I find myself searching for hope that doesn’t seem to be there, but other times my search for hope proves successful and I can remain optimistic. This can be related to “The Screwtape Letters” (Chapter 8 of “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week 12) as a better way to approach hardships is reconsidering the strenuous periods in my life as a stepping stone towards something greater that can help me to find hope. Present struggles are temporary and if we can rethink the grueling periods in our life, we can have a closer relationship to God. Before Notre Dame, I never would have thought this way as I thought my struggles were never ending and I would never escape the moment of pain, but now I have a deeper comprehension that everything is temporary, even happiness and we must appreciate each moment for the role it plays in evolution. Encountering community is an aspect that has increased in my time at Notre Dame. I have always known that finding community is a part of life that is so important: human connections give life and allow us to mature and appreciate all that life has to offer. However for many people, their community is just a small group of like-minded people and this environment doesn’t allow for much growth. From the video highlighting the importance of diversity, Professor Agustin Fuentes said, “Race differences are actually based not by biological differences, but social, historical, political, economic, and experiential contexts, and most importantly because of that, are changeable” (“Diversity Matters!” by Professor Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11). This has stuck with me because people’s inert racism is stemmed off https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189595?module_item_id=106352 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 Pierpoint 4 of contextual evidence that has surrounded their upbringing not because of anything else. Through my time at ND, I have better understood how people’s one-sided minds actually hinder their ability to form life-forging relationships and engage in a socially stimulating community. By putting aside my own beliefs and viewpoints of the world can aid my mission towards receiving the gift of community connectedness. It is impossible to fully encounter community when harsh viewpoints restrict the ability to form meaningful relationships with people who are different from you. I have encountered many instances in which people refuse to be friends with another person because their political beliefs differ or because their skin color is different from theirs. This is something that will always astound me as I could never base a relationship on something that surface level. I have learned that people who choose their relationships based on similarity are people who I do not want to surround myself with. Diversity and life differences can make for the most fulfilling relationships and this is an important lesson that I have learned from my experience thus far at ND. Because of Notre Dame, I have learned so much about who I am, who I want to become, and what I believe in. I have curated new beliefs and solidified others, but everything is subject to change, and this is something else I have learned. Nothing is set in stone and my life will be filled with obstacles that could create speed bumps in the road and lead me on a different path, but that obstacle could lead me towards something bigger and greater than an easy path could provide.