FYE2 Integration Three Scanlon 1 Moreau First Year Experience Two Reaume March 3, 2022 A Death Well-Died Brother, Son, Friend: Of all the things that Michael was, he enjoyed being these the most. He was always there to pick you up when you needed it most. His life was never easy, and included many bumps along the way, but he worked for every opportunity he got, and always saw the good in everything and everyone. He was always special. As a child he was smart, athletic, and kind, even though he showed his kindness by shooting Nerf guns at his sisters. But we all knew that something changed in him on August 17, 2011. At 8 years old, Michael dislocated and fractured his hip, underwent two surgeries, seven MRIs, countless X-rays and examinations. He was operated on by the world’s most renowned orthopedic trauma surgeon, Dr. David Helfet, after a series of events that could only be described as the grace of God. He could not walk for 6 weeks, and could not play the sports he loved so much for 5 months, but he never lost faith; no, not him. While we all worried about the function of his left leg, he was just as you’d expect: full of hope, and appearing as if nothing was wrong. That’s who he was: no matter how dire the circumstances may have seemed, he always found a way to exude confidence, and his demeanor would assure you that everything would be just fine. From that moment on, Michael began to live life in the present, never taking anything for granted. It was as if he was “standing two inches away from a huge canvas [that was] noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond” and then by stepping farther back and standing still that [he began] to see what that canvas (which [was his] life) really [meant], and to take in the larger picture” ("Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives" by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE2 Week One). He began to never take anyone or anything for granted, because he learned just how quickly it can all be taken away, a lesson that we have now learned too. It became clear to me from that moment on that he was motivated by challenges. He loved to defy the odds and prove that he could do whatever he put his mind to (Discernment Conversation with my dad - Moreau FYE2 Week 5). For example, he did not let his physical setback stop him from pursuing his athletic passions. In fact, it allowed him to focus on the one sport that he truly loved: baseball. He was a gifted athlete, and showed promise in baseball from the moment he held a bat. His athletic career culminated in winning the New Jersey State Title in 2019, and hitting .350 over the entire course of his high school baseball career. He received offers from Johns Hopkins University and Tufts University to play baseball, but turned them down to pursue what he knew held the most potential for him: an academic career at the University of Notre Dame. He was drawn to Notre Dame due to its eternal pursuit “to balance faith and academics” ("Hesburgh" by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE2 Week Two). Michael always prioritized the right things. He always https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/40299/modules/items/143021 Scanlon 2 thought that right after the people he loved, came God and education. To him, Notre Dame offered the greatest opportunities to learn how to live a good life, rooted in God. He attributes his learning to love himself to his time at Notre Dame. What some of you may not know is that in previous years, his thoughts would “cloud [his] self-perceptions and unleash a host of unintended consequences” ("The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There's a Wrong Way)" by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE2 Week Six). However, his struggles with his body image and mental health led him to become an advocate for the destigmatization of men’s mental health, focusing on the perception that men cannot show emotions. He became more open to sharing his thoughts, and loved deeper than ever before. In fact, he began to learn the true meaning of love. In the past, he admitted that what he thought was love was not so at all. The love he gave and received was conditional: a product of a give-and-take relationship between himself and another. However, throughout high school and his time at Notre Dame, through the relationships he developed, he learned how to love unconditionally. While those relationships did make his life easier, “there were times when the futility and irrationality of the gang mind-set threw [him] into this frustrated place… Sometimes, [he] just [couldn’t] think of much else to do but shake [his] fist and get red in the face” ("Chapter 8: Jurisdiction" by Fr. Greg Boyle, SJ - Moreau FYE2 Week Seven). However, he would never let this frustration show. He loved no matter what, and his heart never lacked room for one more person. “There’s nothing more devastating than being an unrequited lover—one who extends himself or herself for others and is not appreciated. We have to be willing to hear what others need and to give ourselves in response even when our attempt to respond may not be appreciated” ("Three Key Questions" by Fr. Michael Himes - Moreau FYE2 Week Three). If only Michael was here today, I could have told him how much his love was appreciated, but we all know that he knew. He always knew. When something was wrong, he knew. When you were happy or proud of something but didn’t want to let it on, he knew. And when you cared about him, whether you told him or not, he knew. As his father, I was always asked the question, “What does Michael do best?”, and to me it was that once he decided on something, he never gave up ("Exploring a Life Well-Lived - Career Development Reflection" by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE2 Week Four). Not just in academic or athletic pursuits, but people too. Once he decided to love you, he was never going to stop. No matter what you did to him, no matter how much or how often you hurt him, he was never going to stop being there for you. His smile was infectious, and he will be missed. His memory will not die, and he will live on as long as those whom he loves keep his memory. 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