Integration #1


I am on a path to fulfillment.


I am searching for a solid foundation.

	Coming here to Notre Dame was arguably the biggest change in my life thus far. Moving from living with my family through the daily bustle of the Washington, D.C. area to life alone in South Bend, Indiana was the day I was dreading all summer. Through the days and days of brutal manual labor doing landscaping throughout the summer, the day I’d leave for South Bend came quickly, and now I’m here in week 8, reflecting on my college experience thus far. College is a land of opportunities; I’ve always been a shy person so I wasn’t sure how willing I’d be to take advantage of these opportunities. However, I recognize that taking advantage of initial opportunities to put myself out there, even if I might feel uncomfortable or embarrass myself in doing so, is essential for me to build the foundation I desire. In facing my weakness of venturing outside of my comfort zone, I see a connection to the idea in week 2 of Adam 1 and Adam 2 David Brooks discussed in his TED Talk. In establishing this comparison, Brooks outlines how “Adam 1 is built by building on your strengths, Adam 2 is built by fighting your weaknesses.” Adam 2 is the one I really hoped to focus on during my first few weeks, and I feel like I did a pretty good job of that even though I endured some uncomfortable experiences and made some decisions I probably wouldn’t make again if I could do it over again. Nevertheless, venturing outside of my comfort zone has allowed me to make lasting friendships and join myself to numerous groups even though it’s one of my weaknesses. (“Should you live for your resume… or your eulogy?” - David Brooks, Moreau FYE Week 2)
	In building this foundation with the groups and friends I’ve found so far, I also see a connection to the idea of healthy and unhealthy relationships we talked about in week 4. I’ve gone through a lot of trial and error in terms of meeting people and testing out our relationships, and I really feel that I’ve been able to prioritize the friendships that feel like both of us are equally invested and respectful of each other. In Olivia Taylor’s article on toxic relationships, I can see my relationship with one of the first people I got to know at Notre Dame as a toxic relationship. She never really listened to what I had to say, and when I made a plan to go on a walk with her one weekend, she bailed at the last minute. While the high school Grant might have continued to pursue that relationship, I think it’s for the best that the college Grant knows it’s time to find friends that care about him and will be there for him. I’ve been so lucky to find my roommate to be a perfect example of this; I trust him to be there for me, we eat meals together, and I came home from classes today to see he had folded my laundry for me (and I didn’t even ask him to!) He really cares about me and I’m glad that I recognize that and am working on building an even stronger relationship with him (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship" - Olivia T. Taylor, Moreau FYE Week 4). 
	One final connection that I see between the content we’ve covered and the foundation I’m trying to build comes from our week 7 discussion about stereotypes. As I’ve gotten to know people around campus, I’ve realized that there’s more to everyone than what meets the eye or what I might think of them based on my initial stereotype of them. I’ve never been a huge party guy or someone who drinks much alcohol, and from my high school days I had a pretty solid stereotype formed of those kinds of people as not generally my kind of people. When I met one of the guys right next door to me, I kind of dismissed him after hearing from others that he was a big partier. I usually don’t identify myself with those people, and even looking back on it I don’t even usually give them a chance. But this is the importance of not letting the idea of a “single story” from Adichie’s TED Talk restrict our relationships with others. Once I got to know this guy, I found him to be a really genuine, caring person even though I had previously dismissed him as someone I didn’t want to be friends with. This illustrates how the “single stories” we formulate and utilize are oftentimes inaccurate and prevent us from having relationships like mine with the guy next door. I’m still working on getting over these kinds of stereotypes, but I feel that I’m in a better place than where I came in with regards to them (“Danger of a Single Story” - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Moreau FYE Week 7). All in all, while I feel like I’m on the way to the foundation I desire, I still have a ways to go. 

I believe that I will grow by living out my ideals in my future.
	I’m not really sure what I want to do with my life. Plain and simple, I came into Notre Dame undecided and just chose Mendoza because it seemed like it had a lot of possibilities for me to find something I enjoy. While it remains to be seen whether I will end up doing something in business, I know one thing for certain about my future; I hope to grow while keeping in mind where I came from. The “Where I’m From” poem we looked at in week 6, written by George Ella Lyon, gave me a glimpse into Lyon’s background and what shaped him into the person he is now. As I wrote my own poem, reflecting on the ups and downs of my life brought me to tears. I see this as a sign of how important my life so far has been to me; all the little things I’ve experienced throughout my life have shaped me into the person I am now. I know whatever I do in life, I won’t forget where I came from (“Where I’m From” - George Ella Lyon, Moreau FYE Week 6). 
	As I discern what I want to do with my life, I also know that it’s more than just a job I’m looking for when I come out of college; it’s a life that I’m looking for. After bad tests or bad projects in high school, my parents would never fail to remind me that grades and schoolwork aren’t everything; it’s about finding a work-life balance, and the life part is what you’ll remember, not the work part. I see a connection between this and the week 5 video from Father Kevin Grove. One quote in particular stuck out to me; “our lives are more than our resumes.” This is extremely important as I progress as a Mendoza student because I’ve seen the resume pressures already; in SIBC, applications for travel-team programs are coming out and many of my friends have been writing their resumes as a part of these applications. Condensing your life and your experiences into a sheet or two of paper is not what it’s all about; life is about the little conversations you have, the little moments you share with others, and the daily shenanigans. I need to keep my parents’ advice with me as I continue my academic journey, and more importantly, my life journey, here in these next four years at Notre Dame, and I hope to find a path where I can live my life to the fullest without losing where I came from (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” - Fr. Kevin Grove, Moreau FYE Week 5).

I believe that I have plenty of room for improvement.
	As I grow into the person I want to become, I recognize that there are plenty of areas for improvement. One key aspect that I’d like to improve upon is my relationship with God. My faith has been on a bit of an up and down recently, and although I feel okay with where I am now, I’d really like to improve. Oftentimes I find myself feeling like the faith cycle is a little bit repetitive, and this has made me frustrated in the past. But taking a quote from the Student Reflections on Faith we covered in week 3 gives me some reassurance; as Ryan, a student from the class of 2021 put it, “But what we might miss is that even as we walk over the same ground again and again, we are rising.” Even as I’m going through this same cycle, I’m continuing to develop; the challenge for me is recognizing that and not losing my motivation to continue on this cycle as I develop my relationship with God (“Student Reflections on Faith” - Campus Ministry, Moreau FYE Week 3). As I improve, I also think I need to do a better job of focusing on the things I do well than always focusing on my shortcomings. I’m often hard on myself and don’t give myself much slack when things go wrong. This connects to Brené Brown’s TED Talk from week one; in talking about her desire for perfection and her focus on mistakes rather than her strengths, Brown notes how talking with her boss would bring her “37 things [she did] really awesome and one thing that’s an opportunity for growth,” and her principal focus was the opportunity for growth. As I continue to improve, I need to recognize the places where I succeed instead of the places where I fail; this would bring more positivity to the process and I think I could really benefit from it (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). I know there’s a lot of room for improvement, but I feel like I’m well equipped to work towards improvement.