Week 13 - Integration 2 Jessica Geriane Week 13 - Integration 2 This new chapter of my life has just begun, but it has been an incredible journey full of highs and lows that have brought me much personal development and insight about my life and purpose. In just this first semester, I have undergone many life-changing experiences and created endless lifelong memories and friendships that I will cherish forever. The atmosphere at Notre Dame facilitates self-improvement and the potential to do something greater than yourself, and the campus unity is unlike any other. As a member of the swim team, I have the amazing opportunity to join other athletes under common goals and have created bonds that unite us not only as teammates, but also as a family. This year, the swim team had a rocky start, and it has been a continuous struggle due to many unforeseen circumstances ever since. Despite these situations, we continue to support each other and lift each other up in the darkest of times, and from this I have learned that in order to grow personally, I must embrace not only the good times but also the moments where rock bottom seems to be inescapable. From the moment I first stepped on campus, I felt so many emotions. Of course, I was extremely thrilled to be able to attend a school this prestigious, but at the same time, I was very anxious and nervous for what was to come. I felt as if I did not belong or was worthy to go to school here because I entered the university not as a regular student, but as a student-athlete. I questioned myself constantly, not knowing that there was a term for these feelings of self doubt: impostor syndrome. I was so caught up in my own feelings that I did not realize that impostor syndrome “is something that most people can find themselves to be not alone in” (“What is Impostor Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). From learning more about https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/27120/modules/items/102798 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/27120/modules/items/102798 impostor syndrome, I was able to understand that everyone holds themselves to standards that, much of the time, are quite unattainable, and I believe that it would be very beneficial for everyone to know that they are not alone. The swim team is one of the greatest support systems I have ever encountered, and to know that everyone feels the same way as an athlete guarantees that these feelings are normal. Having friends that I share a common interest with makes me feel less alone and doubtful about the future and helps me feel more comfortable in this new atmosphere. Another special thing about the swim team here at Notre Dame is that everyone comes from different backgrounds, locations, and social situations. At times, we let these and other differences alienate us from each other, however, I have discovered that “it is through our differences and fighting conflict that unites us together or as a community” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). To get rid of these disconnections, one must remember that resourcefulness and unity bring hope and trust that leads to group determination for success. These differences make us who we are and what makes the entire team so unique. Seeing that each of my teammates’ have different personalities and characters made me feel comfortable in my own skin on and off the pool deck. Practicing everyday with this special group of people made me realize that we are not so different after all. We are all working to the best of our abilities and training to reach the same goals: achieving success in the pool and in the classroom, and I have come to the conclusion that every person on this team is imperative to those successes. As I previously mentioned, this season for the swimming and diving team has been full of struggles and challenges. There have been many conflicts between classes, training groups, and teammates in general. As a freshman, this all is quite nerve racking for me, as I am generally https://couragerenewal.org/wpccr/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://couragerenewal.org/wpccr/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ afraid of the upperclassmen and feel as if I do not have much of a voice as someone who has only been on campus for less than four months. As Father Jenkins’ stated in his 2012 Commencement Address to the Wesley Theological Seminary, “Hatred poisons everything” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Jenkins notes that hatred is the thing that can destroy the greatest of bonds and relationships; he calls it the “great divider.” Hatred is persistent and not only affects yourself, but the people around you. It is something that should not be common, but unfortunately it is something that has always been around and is impossible to completely get rid of. It is clear to see that we must recognize that hate comes from within, and we must engage with one another in ways that we can better understand each other and learn others’ positions and why they are taking them. Despite some conflict within the team and the nerves and uneasiness I sometimes feel throughout the school week, it is difficult to forget that the team culture, the school’s emphasis on Catholicism, and the impeccable traditions of this university are what I came to Notre Dame for. I have begun to see that this sport unites my teammates and me, and that gives me hope. Hope, as defined by Notre Dame’s campus ministry, is “trusting in the cross and God’s promise of the kingdom” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). This exemplifies the thought that all individuals should place their trust in God in order to hope for a greater future. By trusting in the cross, we place all our worries in Him, allowing us to focus on the betterment of ourselves and the following of Christ in the ways that he wishes us to. In a similar way, as a member of the swim team and other sports teams in the past, seeing my teammates work hard during strenuous workouts and then watching them achieve their goals not only makes me extremely happy for them, but it also gives me hope in https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/ what I strive to achieve. The energy that my teammates express everyday at practice or at meets helps me feel more motivated and gives me the ability to hope that my goals will be achieved and that I will be able to feel that satisfaction of all the hard work that has been put in towards reaching the best end. Even though I have not been at Notre Dame for a very long time, I am eternally grateful for what the team and the school has done for me so far.