Moreau Integration III
March 4, 2022
	“Most of you knew  as a coworker, friend, distant relative, or interplanetary icon, but I knew him as my dad. I’m his sixth kid, and he had three more after me, and so one would think that he either never got a moment alone or that we didn’t get much time with him. One would be wrong to think so. Ask any one of his children and they’ll tell you that somehow my dad seemed to find thirty-six hours in the day. He was always deeply interested in our lives and always active in them, going to school plays and football games while all the while keeping prayer and reflection central to his life[footnoteRef:1] so that he could always be calm and collected. He would unplug himself from email after business hours, refusing to, as he was fond of putting it, act as a router made of meat. He didn’t want to waste his limited time on earth forwarding emails. [1:  Why We Need to Slow Down our Lives, Pico Iyer – Moreau Week One ] 

	“My dad was always aware of his mortality. He kept it on the forefront of his mind at all times. Far from being morbid, this was freeing: he learned to let go of the little things and live his life to the fullest.[footnoteRef:2] This also made my job as eulogist and funeral organizer far easier – he laid out fairly specific instructions for what to do after his death. As per his request, the funeral is in the Notre Dame Basilica with extra seating for the thousands of attendees and livestreamed to his fans. I believe he hoped to replicate Fr. Hesburgh’s funeral that took place here 70 years ago. He always looked up to Fr. Hesburgh’s legacy, despite never having met him, but he always told me that when he had gone to Notre Dame you could still feel the echoes of that great figure in the school administration. People sought to imitate a man who had stood up against injustice while never compromising his faith.[footnoteRef:3] [2:  Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die, Ruth Graham, Moreau Week Three ]  [3:  "Hesburgh", Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley, Moreau Week Two ] 

	“Also per his request, at the funeral reception there will be a gameshow called “Who Said It?  or Ron Swanson?” Contestants will have to identify phrases such as “I have my gold buried in various deposits around Notre Dame” as being an original quote from my father or an altered quote from Ron Swanson, who I understand was a character on a popular show from my father’s childhood. The winner gets my dad’s vintage 2025 Ford F-150 Lightning, valued at   a13,000,000. 
	“As should be clear from the game if it wasn’t before, my father loved mirth and he loved people. To quote one of the popes from his childhood, Pope Francis, “we all need each other, none of us is an island, an autonomous and independent ‘I,’ separated from the other, and we can only build the future by standing together, including everyone.[footnoteRef:4]” I think my dad really took that to heart despite the source. He would never in a million years dream of a life without other people. My mom always said that my father was planning his future family and what he wanted his life to look like long before she met him in college. He didn’t know what career he would have yet or that he would become the first person to have their net worth break over Ƀ20,000,000, and at the time he planned on being either a math professor or a Wall Street quantitative analyst. He had three key questions in mind when deciding what he would do[footnoteRef:5]. For him, these questions were “What are you good at,” “What do you like doing,” and “What does the world need more of?” These questions guided him in his eventual decision to become grand emperor of Mars. [4:  Why the Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone, Pope Francis, Moreau Week Seven ]  [5:  Navigating Your Career Journey, Meruelo Center, Moreau Week Four ] 

	“Even more than what career he would have, my father cared about what friends he would have. His close friend of 80 years, J.A. Hatch, is in the audience with his wife, whom my father introduced to J.A against his will. My father was godparent to all seven of his children as well as being both his best man and all three groomsmen. J.A. was one of the key figures in helping my dad realize his vocation to be a benevolent despot. They had a conversation once in Freshman year[footnoteRef:6] in which J.A. and my dad commented on my dad’s exuberance, extraversion, and eagerness to change the world. The answer then became obvious – rule people for their own good, and maybe make some money along the way. [6:  Week FIve Discernment Activity, J.A. Hatch and , Moreau Week Five ] 

	“My father was never a very introspective person. While others espoused introspection as a method for arriving at enlightenment,[footnoteRef:7] he found constant navel-gazing to be a distraction from work and often a way to shift blame. It was, in his opinion, far more useful to simply say “I messed up, won’t happen again” than to spend countless hours finding out why he had failed. He always said that personal faults boil down to a lack of willpower. [7:  The Right Way to Be Introspective, Tasha Eurich, Moreau Week Six ] 

	“I’m sure if my father were here he would thank each of you for coming. I know that most of you had to commute via rocket and that’s never particularly fun. Please join us in celebrating his life in two hours as we eat, play games, drink, and most importantly fire his corpse into space. It’s what he would have wanted.”
	He descended the steps, opened up the casket, and placed inside ita six pack containing five full beers and one empty, just to mess with future archaeologists.