Week 8 Moreau Integration Learning to Write My Own Story Throughout my time in this course, it has been my goal to focus on developing not just a unique identity, but one that truly reflects the person that I want to be. It has been somewhat difficult to maintain autonomy in a college setting, where everyone is very concerned about how they are perceived by others. It can be very easy to allow your identity to become corrupted and to change your persona to fit better with others around you. However, it is far more fulfilling to remain patient, be yourself, and surround yourself with similar people who value your company for the right reasons. Focusing on what I believe has been helpful because it reminds me who I am, and makes sure I stay on course with being the right kind of person. It keeps me anchored to my true self, and gives me more emotional stability in a very tumultuous setting. As time goes on, I will continue to make sure that the story I write at college is my own, and that I do not make sacrifices to seem more appealing to those who may not value me for the right reasons. I believe that every person should embrace their uniqueness In a college setting, it is easy to fall into the trap of pretending to be somebody you are not. When we are put into a new setting, we feel the need to fit in. As such, many people are willing to sacrifice core parts of their identity to create a persona that they feel is more appealing to the people around them. Though this may grant some short term satisfaction, it is unhealthy. The friendships you may form by pretending to be someone else are not built to last- at some point, you will want to be yourself again, and this may or may not align with the person you’ve been pretending to be. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said in her famous TedTalk, “when we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise” (“Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie- Moreau https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story?language=en FYE Week 7). It is far easier to find fulfillment if you understand that you are unique, and that what makes you different is where your value lies. In a letter back to France, Father Sorin wrote “But as each one understands his mission, all are happy and contented. See what grace can do!” (Fr. Sorin Letter to Bl. Basil Moreau- Moreau FYE Week 5). When we understand that our differences make us special, and begin to chart our own course, we can truly flourish as individuals. I believe that our community should embrace diversity One of the most enriching experiences at college so far has been conversing with students from different backgrounds, especially foreign students who have had very different experiences in their lives. I learned about how the challenges faced in my life differed from theirs, and how my understanding of the world could be enhanced through the stories they told. This strongly relates to the “Where I’m From” poems from Week 6. In my own poem, I wrote: “I am from trials and tribulations, from the emotional journey that we all take from the days of our youth until we become adults, and from the puzzles that we solve along the way” (“Where I’m From” Poem by - Moreau FYE Week 6). The experience of being in a diverse community allows us to understand the things that unite us and the things which distinguish us along our journeys. Conversing with those from different backgrounds allows us to learn about the trials and tribulations that others have, and in turn helps us to learn about the world and better solve the problems we face in our own lives. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o56woQDq3QrRkziT8eYrvYly5CQaP2Vb/view https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NBkZv00uVuXFJ3YSI-OI5qrk7ME4J1f2rf60c78WfCQ/edit https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NBkZv00uVuXFJ3YSI-OI5qrk7ME4J1f2rf60c78WfCQ/edit I believe that I need to be more vulnerable I don’t always find it to be particularly easy to open up to people. As human beings, it is natural to feel somewhat insecure about our flaws, our abilities, or other core parts of our identity. This fear makes it extremely difficult to open up to other people at times. When we are vulnerable, we feel that other people can see our flaws, which can make us uncomfortable: “What underpinned this shame… was this excruciating vulnerability” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). It is important to understand that this discomfort allows us to grow as people. Being vulnerable with others helps us collectively understand each others flaws, and helps to start a process of growth. We can only begin to have meaningful conversations and learning experiences once we truly open up to people, and to do so, we need to overcome our fear of vulnerability. I believe in maintaining a positive outlook At times, we all face difficulties in our lives. Sometimes it can be enough to discourage us or force us to have a pessimistic view of the world. However, it is in these times that we need to maintain our hope, and continue to have an optimistic mindset. David Fagerberg writes: “Hope anchors the soul. Hope directs our desire toward its true end, which is the kingdom of heaven” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg- Moreau FYE Week 3). Hope is one of the most valuable things we can have in our lives, but it is also one of the easiest to quickly lose. But if we learn to maintain our hope and faith even in times of crisis, we can be strong even through strife. As Marcus Aurelius once wrote in his Meditations, “stand firm like a promontory, upon which the waves are always breaking” (“The Meditations of the Emperor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/ http://files.libertyfund.org/files/2133/Aurelius_1464_LFeBk.pdf Marcus Aurelius”). A mindset of hope, strength, and faith allows us to remain strong through times of struggle. I believe in acknowledging my weaknesses This is something that myself, and most people, struggle with. It is not a natural human tendency to want to discuss one’s weaknesses. It makes us feel vulnerable and fragile, which is naturally uncomfortable. However, in his TedTalk, David Brooks discusses the difference between Adam 1, who is your external self, and your internal Adam 2. Brooks says: “Adam 1 is built by building on your strengths. Adam 2 is built by fighting your weaknesses” (“Should you live for your resume or your eulogy?” by David Brooks- Moreau FYE Week 2). It is important to understand the balance between embracing your strengths, but also adjusting your internal weaknesses to become a stronger person overall. Generally, we like to shy away from our weaknesses and ignore them. However, if we don’t acknowledge our weaknesses, they only grow worse. It is better to take a deep look at our internal selves, understand our flaws, and strive to improve them in a manner free from shame. I believe in keeping a close circle I am somewhat of a picky person when it comes to friendships. Though this is a somewhat flawed mindset, I enjoy it because it allows me to avoid entering relationships that are not positive. Olivia Taylor writes “Great, fruitful conversation comes from two people engaging in one another’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. A healthy, balanced, mutual friendship involves peers who ask questions and bounce ideas back and forth” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor- Moreau FYE Week 4). I firmly agree with this concept, and I try http://files.libertyfund.org/files/2133/Aurelius_1464_LFeBk.pdf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ to make sure that all of my friendships happen for the right reasons. It is easy to enter relationships which may seem positive, but ultimately become toxic. However, if you are careful with who you spend time with, and only surround yourself with people who value your presence as much as you value theirs, then you will have a much more positive life experience. The Moreau First Year Experience has helped me to keep close to my true self during a time of extreme change. In a new setting, it is easy to lose track of what your goals should be, and your journey can be thrown off course quite quickly. However, when this begins to happen, the best thing to do is revisit your core beliefs and make sure you have a deep understanding of the person you want to be. A return to your core ideals is the best way to maintain your autonomy, especially in a situation where it is easy to get roped into a group and lose your individuality. It is important that learn from others, but also that we make sure we are writing our own story. I know that over the next few years I will make sure that I stay on the right course, and write the story that fits me best.