moreau integration paper midterm October 14, 2021 Uncovering My Power I believe that the power of vulnerability with others is built through honesty and open-mindedness with the self. During my time here at Notre Dame, I’ve encountered a variety of obstacles: far less communication with my friends and family back home, a frequently busy schedule, and finding times to look after my physical and mental health, to name a few. As a result, self-reflection–while it is a priority for me–often gets put on the back-burner. As the weeks progressed, I found it increasingly difficult to manage my day-to-day activities as they remained; simply put, my lifestyle was unsustainable. Recognizing this truth allowed me to begin making change, first by communicating my difficulties. Upon discussing my situation with one of my closest friends here at Notre Dame, I realized that I was not alone in handling the college transition. My friend had experienced the exact same difficulties as I had. Opening up to my friends about my struggles–having the courage to be vulnerable–showed me that not only was I not alone, but that being honest with myself and others about difficult circumstances allowed me to cultivate more emotionally intimate, deeper friendships. Since this particular experience, I’ve not only learned how to better transition to college life, but I’ve felt an increased sense of belonging. As Brene Brown described, “The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe that they are worthy of love and belonging.” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown, FYE Week 1) The heightened sense of comfort and balance I’ve since established is truly a testament to how actively choosing vulnerability has increased my own self-respect and appreciation. I believe that one’s journey of personal growth begins with seeking to learn more about oneself. As David Brooks stated in his TEDTalk in regards to combating personal demons, “[...] you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin, and out of that wrestling–that suffering–then a depth of character is constructed.” (David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy? by David Brooks, FYE Week 2). Only through confronting our inner struggles can we hope to grow as individuals. Through patient self-reflection and with the courage to acknowledge that we as humans are fallible, we can determine which areas of our life we hope to improve upon. I came to recognize this after having a falling out with my best friend during high school. At the time, I had blamed myself for many of the difficulties I had within that relationship. But as months passed after our friendship came to an end, I realized that I had fallen victim to repeated manipulation, deception, and lies–choices my friend made that were simply beyond my control. This was a difficult truth to confront; I had to learn to be gentle and patient with myself going forward, as I realized I couldn’t be responsible for the decisions and actions of others–particularly when such actions bear nothing but malicious intent. I’ve integrated this knowledge into my current friendships here at Notre Dame by prioritizing trust and honesty in my relationships after recognizing just how dangerous it can be when those elements are 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=emb_imp_woyt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM missing. By cultivating safe, comfortable spaces on campus, whether it be in dorm lounges or library study rooms, my friends and I have found spaces where we can be fully comfortable with each other and our environment. I believe that support, trust, and mutual respect are essential to establishing life-giving relationships. To me, life-giving relationships are those in which both individuals involved are encouraged by one another to challenge themselves but recognize their own personal boundaries. Hearing “You deserve to know what it feels like to be disrespected” in the One Love Foundation video was particularly striking; it resonated with me because while I’ve never been told the words, the meaning of them has been expressed to me time and time again in a previous friendship (#ThatsNotLove campaign | Because I Love You - Whiskey by One Love Foundation, FYE Week 4). That toxic relationship has since come to an end, but the mental scars I bear from it still remain. While I had to learn the consequences of a lack of healthy boundaries in a difficult way, the lessons I learned from that particular experience still hold true. The most rewarding relationships I’ve formed over the course of my life have been marked by common factors: open communication, trust, and above all, compassion. Cultivating spaces in which I feel comfortable to be my most authentic self has proven vital to my own personal health and wellbeing. In regards to forming life-giving relationships, I’ve become much more aware of the role I want those relationships to play in my life, particularly with Carla Harris’s message in mind, as she said, “We can never get more time. We should therefore be extremely intentional with our time and spend it in a way that we get the largest return on our time.” (Notre Dame Commencement 2021: Laetare Medalist Address by Carla Harris, FYE Week 5) Taking this message outside the religious context of her speech, this idea is something that I find myself thinking about frequently. I don’t consider the time I spent in a toxic friendship to be time wasted, as I learned just how resilient and strong-willed I can be in the face of adversity. However, I actively choose to spend my energy only on relationships that bring me joy, simply put. Recognizing my limited time in this world has allowed me to become far more mindful of my everyday choices. Here on campus, I’ve prioritized spending time with my closest friends. Even if it’s just studying together at the library or planning a meal at the dining hall, being intentional with my time and spending it with my closest friends here has only made Notre Dame feel more like home. I believe that faith in my mind, heart, and drive define my place within the world in the absence of any belief in any deity or higher powers. Confronting my lack of religion at a Catholic university has been a difficult journey. Watching my classmates (particularly those who are Catholic) flourish on their journey of faith has made me feel rather isolated, particularly as we are constantly surrounded by Catholic icons, imagery, and prayer in all forms. However, I’ve followed Father Pete’s advice to “resist the temptation to compare [myself] against what others profess to know and believe.” (The Role of Faith in Our Story by Fr. Pete, McCormick, FYE Week 3). As I’ve learned more about Catholicism and theology as a whole here at Notre Dame, I’ve become more comfortable with my agnostic standing. I don’t attribute any of my capabilities to a higher order; and yet despite still feeling isolated, I’ve found comfort knowing that I am a 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs product of triumphs over adversity, past mistakes, and lessons learned. I do appreciate that Notre Dame offers a comfortable environment for discussions on personal and religious beliefs. I believe I still have plenty of room left to grow in terms of my beliefs surrounding faith, so I want to explore this topic more in the classroom in theology next semester so that I have both an academic and a social context to my understanding of the subject. I believe that I am a mosaic of the stories of my past and present. I think that this belief is transparent within my Where I’m From poem, as the vast majority of my writing was rooted in the stories of my past: places I’ve been, people I’ve loved, and moments of joy, regardless of how mundane they may seem. I carry memories of the “midnight drives into the country” and chasing after the “fireflies in the night” with me wherever I go, as moments like these have taught me to value smaller joys in life ("Where I'm From" Poem by , FYE Week 6). As my time here is in fact limited, finding contentment in the journey rather than the destination has given me more than sufficient fulfillment. I feel incredibly lucky to have discovered an appreciation for such moments early in my childhood. It makes me think to David Brooks’s comment in “How to Destroy Truth”, in which he describes a “great reservoir of knowledge” as “the knowledge of who we are as a people, how we got here, what long conflicts bind us together, what we find admirable and dishonorable, what kind of world we hope to build together” (How to Destroy Truth by David Brooks, FYE Week 7). While I feel secure with my self-knowledge and identity, I am still on the journey of finding how my story fits into the world around me. Finding my place in the global community is something I hope to learn more about along my college journey. On my path of uncovering my personal powers and abilities, I hope to apply my knowledge to a cause that is greater than myself. Whether this be through involvement in local community service or participating in global research initiatives, I intend to utilize Notre Dame’s many resources to further my personal journey while simultaneously contributing to a larger cause. 3 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zy7h8QjHppt1vUPXD38zfOcITwGmht6waQ2lOI3doEg/edit?usp=sharing https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/01/opinion/patriotism-misinformation.html?referringSource=articleShare