Midterm Integration


Throwing Punches and Caution to the Wind

Going into college, especially a school like Notre Dame, I was intimidated by the caliber

of students I knew I would find myself amongst, being far from home, and the nerves of finding

out how I would fit in. Through my classes and the people I’ve met here, I can definitively say

that I am not the person I was when I got here over 7 weeks ago. In many ways I am still the

same, I hope that the person that people perceive me as is the good qualities that I brought from

back home, but I also hope the experiences that I learn are shaping me into a deeper person.

I believe that I grow by opening myself up to new experiences. There is no doubt that I

have experienced many new things here at Notre Dame. I've developed (good) habits, made new

friends, taken classes that I’ve never had before, and tried new hobbies. One of the more notable

things that I’ve devoted a lot of my time to is fostering relationships and participating in Baraka

Bouts. When I think about it, many friendships have been made through the time I’ve spent in

Baraka Bouts. Coming into college, I knew I wanted to do something outside of my comfort

zone which led me to join the boxing team. I've had so much fun so far, pushing myself both

mentally and physically. It’s funny when I look back just a few months ago. I was a shy person

who would not have done something as violent as this, especially considering myself a pacifist.

However, my fear of the dreaded “freshman 15” convinced me that I needed something that

would keep me active. It’s very easy to fall into things that bring us comfort, from food, people,

and bad habits. Early in the semester, I was hit with the reality that “we are the most in debt,

obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in US history” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by

Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1). I knew that I didn’t want to keep falling back into the

same things and people that held me back in the past. Thankfully, the people that I’ve met here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be


are ambitious, care about mental and physical well-being, and push me to be better. Even in my

dorm, I can tell that I’ve found my own community and a place where I can belong, not just fit

in. A big group of us ladies go to boxing together and encourage each other to push through a

tough workout. It’s so refreshing to finally find people who simply want the best for you as much

as you want for them. “A good, healthy friendship is one where two people are mutually growing

and on a path toward becoming better people” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship” by

Olivia T. Taylor- Moreau FYE Week 4). I’ve found many people who I can mutally grow with

and I hope that as my time at Notre Dame continues, the progress I make and the things I learn

will be shared with others.

While a big part of my time here is spent making friends, I believe that I am also

searching for where I can best be myself and use my skills. I spent a lot of time discerning my

major and sometimes I still feel like I am still figuring out what I want to do. Through my

classes, I’m learning how to balance time, interests, and really seeing what classes I enjoy.

Unfortuantely, most of my glasses are general ones that I have to take as a freshman. I like to

think that I have a lot to offer as an individual. Here, however, I’ve felt a bit of imposter

syndrome. I know that I am capable of so much, but seeing others who have all the chances I

have succeed sometimes makes me feel like I am lacking something. I’ve always been raised in a

competitive culture, growing up playing sports, competing with my older sister, and mostly

competing against myself. In week 2 of Moreau, we watched a Ted Talk on the two inner

workings of ourselves that are always at odds with each other. In our second week of Moreau, we

talked about how “we live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the

internal value” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” David Brooks- Moreau

FYE Week 2).  My issue has always been finding a way to quantify my internal value. When can

https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/
https://www.ted.com/talks/david_brooks_should_you_live_for_your_resume_or_your_eulogy/transcript?language=en#t-83396


I be satisfied with the things that I have done? Something that someone told me is that I am

always unsatisfied because I keep raising the bar. Reflecting on my time here, I see myself

raising my standards when I do well on a test, since I always believe I can do better. Or when I

am exhausted after a physical workout I always feel like I can push myself harder. That

realization actually inspired me to sometimes take a step back and see how far I’ve come, to

enjoy the places that my brain and my talents have brought me, and to appreciate the progress

that I’ve made thanks to the help of others. My time here definitely hasn’t been all smooth

sailing though. I’ve experienced stress, worry, and disbelief. When I start worrying about my

grades, I think back to the reading we did in Week 3, how I can’t “just settle for ‘getting the most

out of this life’ (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” Professor David Fagerberg,

Grotto-Moreau FYE Week 3). Keeping this in mind, I’ve been able to push through rough exams

and midterms knowing that I can still be my best self without letting grades define my

self-worth.

It’s no secret that Notre Dame’s campus offers us a bubble with an influx of cultures and

stories. Knowing this, I believe that I pursue truth by being an open listener. In Week 7, we

listened to a Ted Talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie on how “the single story creates

stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are

incomplete. They make one story become the only story.“ (“The Danger of a Single Story”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie- Moreau FYE Week 7). In order for others to know my truth, they

need to know my story: my likes, dislikes, my history, and all the different experiences that make

me who I am. I specifically chose Notre Dame, an 11 hour drive from my home state,

specifically because I wanted to escape the incomplete stories that haunted me. I wanted to turn

over a new leaf here, building my own story and letting people decide how they like me here. So

https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau
https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story?language=en


far, I’d say it’s going well. I’ve developed many extrovert qualities that I didn’t have back in

high school, but I am still the same girl I was back home, holding on to my roots. I referenced

this in my poem from Week 6: The place that I’m from/Cannot be found on a map alone/It is the

people and /the memories that make me/And tell the story of/ Where I’m from” (“Where I’m

From,” - Moreau FYE Week 6). Being far away from home, whenever I get to call

my parents and friends from back home keeps me grounded and makes me a little less home

sick. I think in this poem, I really stress how I am a culmination of the memories and the people

that make me who I am. Knowing this, everyone I meet, I try to learn their truth and let them tell

their own story. I’m not perfect, sometimes I’m not the greatest listener or I still let my

assumptions cloud my judgement. By being more inclusive and open to other people, I can create

more opportunities for friendship and learning here at Notre Dame. I think this campus is a lot

smaller than I thought it would be. I hope that here, I can “use who [I am], what [I] know, and

who [I] know to help others. For that will take [my] life from success to significance” (“2021

Laetare Medalist Address” Carla Harris- Moreau FYE Week 5). I have endless resources here to

pursue truth and see the different layers that there is to truth. I know that the world is not black

and white, and I hope I can strengthen my knowledge to always pursue truth with a Notre Dame

education.

My time here at Notre Dame so far has been rewarding. I am excited for the future

classes I will take, and I am grateful for the people I’ve crossed paths with in my class, in my

dorm, and even friends I’ve made waiting for the stir-fry at North Dining Hall. I hope that I will

continue to stick to my high standards while still keeping my morals, and I hope that my faith

will strengthen as my knowledge grows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4&ab_channel=UniversityofNotreDame