Thomas Toole
Taylor Kelly
Moreau FYE
3 March 2022
The Kid who Wanted Everyone Around Him to Succeed
	Thomas Toole was a kind, loving, and compassionate man, who unfortunately passed away at the young age of 18 years old. He leaves behind his mother, father, stepmother, three siblings (Johnny, Maggie, and Jake), and three step-siblings (Jackson, Katherine, and Jonathan). His friends and family called him Tommy, and he was always looking to include everyone in everything he did. Tommy was always extremely concerned with the well being of others, but no one more than his mother, Jennifer. Tommy was so involved in the lives of others that he would often make his days worse so that yours could be better. A person’s life who resonated with Tommy was the life of Fr. Theodore Hesburgh, the former president of the University of Notre Dame, as he was always looking to influence others in a positive way whether it was at the university, within the Church, or around the world. He was a great man who would not stand for injustices anywhere, which is an idea that Tommy wanted to live by in his own life (Hesburgh Movie - Moreau FYE Week Two). Standing up for others was a crucial part of his identity, and he wanted to be remembered through his influence and treatment on those who had the chance to meet him during their lives. 
	As the first-born, Tommy developed a very close bond with his parents as a young child. He spent countless hours with his mother, learning the states and capitals, playing basketball in the driveway, and attending spring training games at Tucson Electric Park. He was introduced to sports at a young age, and immediately they became a passion of his. When he was young, Tommy excelled in sports, sometimes being the best player on the field in baseball, soccer, and basketball. However, as he got older he lost his distinction as one of the best players, but still made his impact in other ways. In a conversation with his father, he was told that when he was at his best was during his high school basketball team’s run to winning a state championship (Conversation with my dad - Moreau FYE Week Five).  He was extremely proud of his influence on the team, yet he only scored 1.3 points per game. He was always the loudest cheerleader on the bench, looking to support his teammates through every possible avenue. Hyping up the crowd, other bench players, and his teammates on the floor, he always had an influence on the game even though he rarely stepped onto the court.
	On the academic side of things in high school, Tommy was not always as aggressive in his pursuits like he was on the field or court. He was very gifted intellectually, yet he struggled to find a desire to push himself as hard as he could in school. If he was still here, he would tell you that he would get complacent with his schoolwork, partly because he was immature, and partly because he felt satisfied with his performance, even if it was not as good as he could have done. This quote is a quote that Tommy encountered in his Moreau class that reminded him that there is always something greater calling him, and to never be satisfied with his current state. ‘“The issue of my calling is settled.” Vocations lead to vocations! It may raise other questions, and there’s no point where you can say that, “I do not have to ask any more questions”’ (Three Key Questions by Fr. Michael Himes - Moreau FYE Week Three). In college, during his first-year as a Gateway student at Holy Cross College and the University of Notre Dame, Tommy was able to realize his full potential as a student. He pushed himself extremely hard and achieved a 4.0 GPA for the first time in his life during the first semester. 
	On the social side of things, Tommy wanted to include everyone as a part of his jurisdiction in life. When choosing friends and people to interact with, the color or skin or background of people didn’t matter to Tommy. His two closest friends from home, Diego and Nico, were both hispanic, and came from much different upbringings than Tommy did. With all of the differences that they had growing up, they were able to find so many commonalities to create an unbreakable bond for a lifetime between them. He wanted to be a part of everyone’s circle, as reflected in this quote. “Somewhere, in the jurisdictional locale where judgment used to claim us, a remarkable commonality rushes in, and the barriers that exclude are dismantled” (Jurisdiction by Fr. Greg Boyle - Moreau FYE Week Seven). The diversity of Tommy’s jurisdiction was something that he was extremely proud of, as his friends came from anywhere and everywhere. The connections he made in college were different from the ones from home, as his peers grew up in ways similar to himself. Still, he developed many relationships that would have lasted for his entire life. It didn’t matter what your life was like to Tommy, if he perceived you to be genuine he wanted to have you around, it was as simple as that.
	Although Tommy’s life was very positive from his high school years onward, he struggled after his parents’ separation when he was in the fourth grade. His middle school years were happy, but life at home caused much internal conflict for Tommy. He tried so hard to make everything right between his parents, and make life easier for his beloved mother, but there was only so much he could do as a kid. He often blamed himself for problems, and calculated his words to his parents, withholding from saying things to prevent a fight between them. As he got older, he came to a revelation that no matter how hard he tried, there was nothing he could do about the situation.  “In other words, we can spend endless amounts of time in self-reflection but emerge with no more self-insight than when we started” (The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There is a Wrong Way) by Tasha Eurich, Moreau FYE Week Six). This truth came easier to him as he saw his mom succeed, and helped her along every step of the way, from her first day of community college to her first day on the job as a nurse. As much as Tommy overanalyzed every move that he made, it never amounted to anything in the end. If there was something he wished he could do over again it would be to worry less about things he couldn’t control and let everything play out. He found peace and stillness in his mind in his later years. Tommy realized that self-reflection was positive, but there was a point that it negatively impacted his mental health.  His experiences allowed him to realize that no matter how much effort you give, not everything will go your way. 
	Tommy had plans to study international economics in college, and go into the labor force with a variety of options. He was not exactly sure what he wanted to do after college, but he knew that studying economics would give him many opportunities. Something that he found crucial to his future endeavors was the opportunity to be a leader, which is something that he learned through the career examinations in his Moreau First-Year Experience course (Career Surveys - Moreau FYE Week 4).  Being a leader had always been a staple of Tommy’s personality, which made it so important to him in choosing his future career. One thing that Tommy was developing in his college life was the ability to slow down. A quote from Pico Lyer especially resonated with Tommy in letting things come to you and relaxing. “To me, the point of sitting still is that it helps you see through the very idea of pushing forward; indeed, it strips you of yourself, as of a coat of armor, by leading you into a place where you’re defined by something larger” (Why we need to slow down our lives by Pico Lyer - Moreau FYE Week One). Sitting still for a little while, putting down his phone and just relaxing was something that helped Tommy manage his way through his first year of college with minimal stress. The importance of letting things come to you and not being overly eager was something that Tommy learned as he got older. No matter how bad he wanted something, he reminded himself that he would eventually get there. There was no magic shortcut for Tommy to reach his goals in life. 
While he is gone, Tommy’s legacy lives on through all six of his siblings, real and step. He loved his siblings dearly, and all he wants for them is success in all of their endeavors. They know that they can always reach him through prayer, as he would do with his family members who were not with us while he was here. He also hopes that his mother will continue the recent success in her career, and his father continues to be a great dad for all seven of his kids. Tommy lived a fulfilling and influential life, albeit he was only here for a very short time. He will be missed dearly as he rests with the Lord above.