Moreau Capstone

	Jackson Hole Wyoming, Jay’s Lounge in South Bend, the University of Illinois quad, the 99th floor of the Willis Tower, North quad playing spikeball, Notre Dame. This semester has been filled to the brim with different activities, different places, and most importantly different people. 
My life here can be very accurately described by how I put it in Week 13, it’s been very similar to an upward trek up a mountain. There have been so many peaks, and when I look around at everything in my life I realize how far I’ve come along and how truly spectacular the view from that moment in my life is. Of course with peaks, comes valleys. This semester has had its fair share of valleys as well. At those points in my life, and looking at the path it takes to get out of it, I get discouraged on the trek. Sometimes it feels like the effort to get out of it is too much, but without fail, motivation in the form of a friend, or sudden spark of inspiration comes, and I get the energy to keep moving forward. After surmounting the valleys I gain a better understanding of myself and gain an appreciation of the path when I’m not in a valley. I feel that on this journey, I have taken heed of Eurich’s Article “the write way to be Introspective” and have begun to think about myself (Eurich). 
I am a very  emotional person, but I try to never let my emotions show, and I always put others before myself, almost to a fault. This has never really been a hindrance in the past, but recently if I’m going through a valley, it makes it that much harder. I realized I needed to take a good long look inwards, and figure myself out and how I could change myself to live a healthier life for myself. I did not want to change the fact that I lived for others. That said I realized that I may have been putting others above myself to the detriment of myself. Part of my growth here was finding a way to say “no” whether directly or in my actions, if taking on that task brought more burdens on me than it did benefits to the other person. In week 5 I discussed all of the roles I had in others lives, including a friend, mentor, person to rely on, and someone to discuss their hardships with. I love listening to others' problems, as I have never been the best at talking about myself, but have always been a fairly good listener. This led to myself, again, internalizing a lot of my problems while helping others first. I was able to realize this at some point during this semester and have been working on my communication skills. I am still not the greatest at talking about myself, but I believe I can use that as a strength to help people around me. I know there are a plethora of people like me who have difficulty talking about themselves. I understand how they feel so I believe I am more adept at helping these people.
 The week 10 article ``Accompaniment” and the story of the doctor who was cared for by those in a community whom he was supposed to be helping really struck a chord with me (Reifenberg). I wish to be known as a person who will help anyone in need no matter what. That is part of  my drive for reflective leadership: I want to be a leader through service. I don’t need to be the person who takes charge of a situation, or someone who is at the front of the group telling people what to do and where to go. I want to be the person who people choose to follow because they look up and admire the actions I do. 
This semester, I have also thought about how I can contribute to social change. One of the articles that helped me reflect on a criteria on whether my actions are worth doing is from Week 3 with Fr. Michael Himes “Three Key Questions” including: “Is this a source of Joy?”, does it use my talents to the fullest?, and “Is this a general service to the people around you?” (Himes). I want my actions to bring joy to the people around me, but thinking about doing something because I was simply good at it never had really occurred to me. Thinking about it, if I am good at something, and that something brings joy to others, I’ll be able to bring more joy than if I do something I am not good at. These questions however are only a starting block. Just because it follows all three of these criteria does not mean I should be content. Thinking back to Week 11 and building an anti racist vocabulary, I realized something. I cannot be content with staying stagnant on doing the same things that I deem “good” all the time, because there are many faults in myself, and with society as a whole, that I don’t even realize. What I need to do is be more aware of these wrongs that I and society commit around me, and actively work to correct them. It’s easy to stay in the box in which life puts you in from when you were born. However, as we discussed in Week 12, to live a fulfilling life for me, wisdom is a necessity, not intelligence but wisdom. Wisdom is not something gained by doing the same thing every day over and over again. Wisdom is gained through breaking out of the comfort zone which you live in and doing something that will bring about a change, even if you step on some toes while doing so. 
I’ve always thought of myself as a good person. After this semester, Moreau, and everything life has thrown at me, I realized how much I need to change in order to be a reflective leader who has a drive for social change. I’m in the process of finding the balance between living for others, while not hurting myself because I place so much of myself in them and end up hurting myself because of it. I’m continually trying to be a service oriented leader, becoming someone people aspire to be because of the light they exude through their life. Lastly I need to figure out how to break free from the chains society has placed on me. I’m going to throw off the implicit biases that I have, and become an unbiased force for change in a society in need of changing.