Integration 3 March 4, 2022 What will my life well-lived look like? Nobody knows! I have remarkably few concrete goals for my life. Whenever I think about myself in the distant future, I cannot picture exactly what I will be doing, where I will be living, or who I will be living with. The one thing I do know is that I want my life to be fulfilling, or, in Moreau-speak, I want to have a life well-lived. My personal definition of a life well-lived, like my goals, is vague. However, I think this can be beneficial. Looking at one’s life from a wider perspective can be helpful to assess what is really important. “It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and crowded and changing with every microsecond. It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger picture.” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). Getting caught up in the small, inconsequential details of life is distracting and prevents someone from living a life well because they cannot prioritize the things that really matter. The things that are most important vary from person to person. For me, the things I value the most are the relationships I have with the people I love, my education and career development, and caring for my own health and wellness. It is also important not to overthink where you are going in life. “We can spend endless amounts of time in self-reflection but emerge with no more self-insight than when we started.” (“The Right Way to be Introspective” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week 6). Spending too much time analyzing oneself and meticulously planning can take away some of the beauty that comes with what is unknown in life. I will never have all the answers about my life, and that’s ok. In my opinion, it is nearly impossible to have a life well-lived without deep, meaningful interpersonal relationships. Until I got to Notre Dame, most of my meaningful relationships were with family members. My parents, brothers, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are relentlessly supportive of everything I do. I have so much love for them. I had friendships in high school, but most of them were fleeting. I thought that I wouldn’t have as deep and close of a relationship with a non-family member until I found the person I would marry. That’s where I was mistaken. I have formed beautiful friendships here that I am certain will last a lifetime. Coming to Notre Dame has helped me realize that I can form a deep connection with a total stranger and have them become one of the most important people in my life in just a few short months. They know me incredibly well already, evidenced in our week 5 conversation in which they pinpointed lifelong internal struggles I have had. (Moreau FYE Week 5). Showing love to others opens up your life to a host of beautiful experiences. “But the future is, most of all, in the hands of those people who recognize the other as a "you" and themselves as part of an "us." We all need each other.” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). Love is not reserved for family members and romantic partners. A life well-lived includes showing love to all. Educational and career pursuits are also critical to living a fulfilling life for me. There are people out there who may not be educated or have careers they particularly enjoy who live wonderful lives, but that’s just not me. So far, I am really enjoying my course of study at Notre Dame. “We also view studying what you love as highly practical. If you are in a major you enjoy, you will be more motivated to go to class, get better grades, and overall be happier - all of that leads to better post-graduate outcomes.” (Navigating your career journey - Moreau FYE Week 6). I don’t know what I want to do with my career after my Navy career commitment is over, but having an educational background in a subject I enjoy will give me numerous options for a fulfilling career. For example, one of the Domer Dozen was a political science student who used her degree as part of her journey to reforming the education system to be more equitable. (Notre Dame Alumni Association’s Domer Dozen - Moreau FYE Week 2). The final aspect I think is important to having a life well-lived is caring for yourself. It is impossible to give your entire life to the people you care about and your career and ignore your own needs without burning out quickly. School is stressful, so I have had to find ways to integrate self care for my own sanity. I work out multiple times a week, listen to music I enjoy frequently, and try to make sure I get enough sleep each night. Simple acts of self-preservation help me to stay well enough to work hard for the things I am passionate about pursuing. I am unsure of what my acts of self care will look like in the distant future, but I imagine I will find a workout routine that fits well with whatever my life looks like, cook good food, and find other new activities that bring me joy and peace. Part of the reason I chose to use the alternate prompt for this integration is that I don’t think I should get to write an idealized version of my own eulogy. I want my eulogy to be an honest reflection of my life from someone who loves and knows me well. I want whoever speaks at my funeral to be genuine and speak about their real experience knowing me, flaws and all. I hope I will have lived my life well and will try my best to leave a good impact on the world, even if it’s small. I don’t fear death. I don’t want to die now, that’s for sure, but I think that knowing I will die makes the living more precious. “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness,” she said. “But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them.” (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). Knowing my life is going to end at some point and I will leave a legacy in some form motivates me to pursue a life well-lived with positive relationships, a fulfilling career, and good health. There is still so much unknown ahead of me in my life, and I hope the best parts of my eulogy are things I cannot yet even imagine for myself.