Moreau Integration
3 December 2021
Feeling at Home

Many people, including myself have encountered imposter syndrome. In fact, one moment when I was hit hardest by this feeling was during my literature university seminar class. Most students in that class are stem majors like me; however, many of them seemed very well-versed on the topic of our discussions: Latin American poetry. I thought I didn’t belong in that class and felt a bit behind the program. Elizabeth Cox said that “the most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it” (“What is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). She explains that for the most part, imposter syndrome is a result of our own misconceptions and thoughts. She suggests that the best way to overcome this issue is to converse with others about such feelings. Doing so can assuage the nervosity and pressure associated with imposter syndrome. Openly discussing such problems creates an environment that gets rid of feelings associated with the syndrome such as isolation and unworthiness. One simply shouldn’t let their thoughts be bottled up within them and should turn to their peers and friends for support. Regardless of the situation I’m in, I feel it’s best for me to turn to my friends and especially my roommate to talk it out. I also have been working on building confidence in my own ability, so in the future I’ll be surer of exactly what I’m capable of which will help me if I ever encounter more situations dealing with imposter syndrome.  

In fact, discussing such issues with fellow classmates and friends has helped me realize that I’ve become integrated within the Notre Dame family and community. Parker Palmer explains that “whether we know it or not, like it or not, honour it or not, we are embedded in community” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker Palmer- Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Parker Palmer teaches that we are all inevitably tied to our community. It’s useful to remember that at college, we deal with several members who are part of the same Notre Dame community. Therefore, we must make sure to maintain a level of mutual respect when we experience conflict or dissimilarity with those who are within our community. Mutual respect not only ensures that we don’t discourage others within our community, but also builds them up and can create stronger bonds between people. There was one instance on my floor in Dunne when a fellow sentinel attempted to provoke me. He harped on the fact I was from Guam and made derogatory comments about my island. The out of pocket insults he threw didn’t fail to annoy me; however, I knew it best to ignore rather than react to him. I revisited the event while showering and questioned why he decided to target me. In the end I figured treating him like a friend would normalize the situation. Ignoring that outlier event though, I’ve managed to find a nice and welcoming community here at Notre Dame. However, when rifts occur within that family, I always make sure to treat others with respect which invariably strengthens our bonds of interconnection.

Father Jenkins says “If we’re going to do battle with hatred, we have to accept for practical purposes that hatred is not out there. It is in here — ready to rise in disguise inside of us, posing as virtue, sowing destruction” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Rev. John I. Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Many people often wonder why so much hatred exists in the world today and aim to fix it within others; however, they fail to notice that their own hatred often still exists and permeates into their actions and thoughts as well. There is only one form of hatred people can eliminate: their own. For the world to become a less hateful place, people must realize that hatred is within and often is masked as “self-righteous conviction” of others. I am often very self-critical of myself which occasionally leads me to develop hatred. I think it’s important for me to remember that I need to trust myself and need to learn to be patient while aware of how I can grow which will help me discard the hatred I possess. There was an instance in Dunne where someone claimed there was free Chick-Fil-A in the lobby and many people including me stampeded down the stairs to grab a free late-night meal. Unfortunately, we were all pranked, and I felt stupid for getting duped. I was even angry at the person who lied to us. My roommate begged to differ though. He argued that one would be stupid not to run for free food. He felt betrayed. I realized that I needed to be less hard on myself and needed to delete the hatred I felt to help rid hatred in general. 
One connection I’ve been strengthening over my time here at Notre Dame is my relationship with God. C.S. Lewis wrote Screwtape saying, “He relies on the troughs even more than the on the peaks; some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else” (“The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Screwtape is explaining that God depends on people that are going through difficult swings in their life for their faithfulness. Although it’s true that most often turn to God for help, God isn’t dependent on us but rather the opposite is true. Disregarding Screwtape’s message to his nephew, there is still truth to be gleaned from his message. Humans rarely speak with God during peaks of our lives. One way to sustain hope for future growth is to more frequently communicate with God when we don’t need help. I find it very peaceful to go into the Dunne Chapel whenever I’m struggling with my problems in life. I’ve also been trying to incorporate a form of daily prayer before sleeping every night. This prayer helps me become more familiar with God and reminds me to stay thankful for the life I have. People often become blind to their problems when starved of hope that events turn out better. I struggle many times in identifying issues that set me back, but daily prayer with God helps calm my mind and clarify my thoughts because prayer then becomes more of a conversation than a plea.