Professor Chan
Moreau First Year Experience – Integration 3
4 March 2022
The Guideline of Death
	Eulogies are some of the most interesting things in our lives; a mixture of words and sentiments for a person’s life, not given but until the end. You have no say in your own eulogy, at least not while it is being written. It is a meaningless piece of writing, really, coming into existence after its most impacted person is already gone. So why do we care so much about our own eulogies? Because, in some ways, each of our eulogies are constantly being written throughout our entire lives. Every word spoken, every action taken, and even every relationship formed affects this short speech. A eulogy showcases the highs of a person’s life, while acknowledging the lows as well. It is the full measure of everything a person has accomplished in their lives, and when done well, it is a marker of a life well-lived. 
	Although a eulogy cannot be written until after death, through self-reflection and mindfulness we can seek to use its concept as a guideline for our lives. This reflection is not easy, especially in a world where “It’s easy to feel as if we’re standing two inches away from a huge canvas that’s noisy and 
crowded changing with every microsecond” ("Why we need to slow down our lives" (Pico Iyer, TED) – Moreau FYE Week 1). Still, if we can find a way to slow down, calm ourselves, and look at the true state of our lives, this practice of self-reflection can provide a path for the eventual eulogy. In addition to this reflection, a path can be drawn by role models, inspirations for our lives. As Father Hesburgh said, “it is easier to exemplify values than teach them” (“Hesburgh” Produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley – Moreau FYE Week 2). This quote from Notre Dame’s former President perfectly exemplifies the necessity for role models, people who can provide the example of values which are most important to a life well-lived. The greatest role model in my life comes in the form of my grandfather, a man who has persevered through so much, all while continuing to work hard and maintain a positive view of life. Through both self-reflection and exemplification from role models, a guideline to life well-lived, and therefore to the words of a eulogy, can be discerned.
	In my own life, my eulogy will be focused on the impact I made in the world, in the relationships I created and the people whose lives I improved. As such, the field of study to which I subscribe cannot be judged by the salary or the benefits I receive. “There is no “best major” out there - but there is a “best major for you” ("Navigating Your Career Journey” (Meruelo Family Center for Career Development) – Moreau FYE Week 4). Throughout the semester, this quote seemed to speak to me, especially when I worried about whether my path was truly the best. It helped to realize, though, that the major I choose will not be the focal point of my eulogy; rather, the values I hold and those that people see in my life will hold the most weight. This principle came up heavily within my discussion with my parents as both of them noted how important fairness and justice were to me (Discernment Conversation Activity – Moreau FYE Week 5). These two ideals are critical aspects of what I want to be written in my eulogy; that I was a fair and compassionate person who sought justice at each and every turn. I also want to be known as an introspective person, one who can admit when they are wrong and can be self-aware enough to change it. This introspection certainly has drawbacks, as “Introspection can cloud and confuse our self-perceptions, unleashing a host of unintended consequences” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” (Tasha Eurich, TED Conferences) – Moreau FYE Week 6). However, when done correctly, I believe that introspection is one of the most powerful traits a person can have in order to create a life well-lived and couldn’t imagine many better aspects of life to be included in a eulogy. Yet, none of these traits are more important than the relationships I will form with others throughout my life. Just as Thomas Merton said, “we discover our true selves in love,” I believe the true importance of my life will be found in the love of others ("Chapter 8: Jurisdiction" (Fr. Greg Boyle, S.J., Tattoos on the Heart) – Moreau FYE Week 7). Therefore, as it relates to my eulogy, I want nothing more than to be remembered for the lasting impact I had on others, through my relationships with them. This love will be the core part of my eulogy, showing my true self, but also improving people’s lives around me.
	At some point my life will end. I won’t have a perfect life, either, as “Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the “bright and shiny” is superficial and inauthentic” ("Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die" (Ruth Graham, NY Times) – Moreau FYE Week 3). However, when these days of suffering come, I find contentment in knowing that my eulogy is being written through my actions. I cannot truly write it when I die, but I am able to determine how it is written. As a result, my eulogy will display the fairness that is so important to me, along with showcasing the introspection which has become such a critical aspect of my life. More importantly, it will emphasize the relationships I had, the bonds I forged with others, and the impacts I was able to make on their lives as a direct result of those relationships. In truth, the concept of a eulogy is a guideline, much like the role models and the self-reflection that create the path to the eulogy. This eulogy may change, as may the values I currently hold, but as I grow and become the person I want to be, it will guide me toward living a life well-lived.