Mike Comuniello
Moreau First Year Experience
12.3.2021
Seeking Growth in Discomfort
The months I’ve spent at Notre Dame have, in some ways, been some of the most challenging that I have faced in years. Moving away from home to a new environment where I know nobody, faced with challenging classes on top of trying to be independent for the first time feels overwhelming at times. I’ve done poorly on tests and made a fool of myself in front of friends and strangers. I’ve faced loss and had arguments that have put a strain on my emotional state. Through these challenges, I feel like I’ve undergone more growth in the last few months than I have in the last year or longer. By reflecting on these experiences and being equipped to think more critically through my Moreau assignments, I’ve prepared myself to reach new goals. 
From these assignments, I’ve realized that I have encountered social and academic challenges that have forced me to reevaluate the way that I learn.
Moving away from my comfortable life at home into a diverse place like Notre Dame was challenging. For one, it felt like a complete reset of parts of my social life that I had previously solidified. For example, when I was a hormonal freshman in high school, I was especially susceptible to FOMO (fear of missing out). I hadn’t planted my roots and gained the confidence that for one, I’m probably not missing out on as much fun as it would appear on social media and two, the fact that I wasn’t invited was not out of malice or any ill will, and was more likely just circumstantial. As I grew as a person and found my people, these feelings dissipated to the point where I was unbothered by not being invited to something and was content to stay in sometimes as opposed to dragging myself out when I didn’t feel like it. Since I’ve arrived at Notre Dame, where I’ve been uprooted from the comfortable social environment that I built for myself, the feeling of FOMO has returned. As I reflected in Week 9, “I can't help but feel like some of my friends at other schools have more fun when I see them out on a weeknight or at huge parties.” 
Beyond feeling like my social life had reset in some ways, I also entered completely uncharted territory. In Week 10, I discussed the lack of diversity of my hometown and how “we should educate our youth for when they step out into more diverse communities unlike our own, just as I’ve had the opportunity to do by coming to a community like Notre Dame.” In my first few weeks as a Notre Dame student, I encountered an experience that has helped educate me and allow me to grow more accustomed to a more diverse community. I met an Indian girl with a name I had never heard of before and, without even thinking, asked something along the lines of, “where does your name come from,” though I believe I worded it more oddly. The question drew the attention of a few people in the room because it sounded insensitive or oblivious, which made me feel like an idiot. She laughed and explained that it was her grandmother’s name and took no offense to my question and lack of proper wording, and from the encounter I became more aware of other cultures and more comfortable with dialogue. 
I’ve had academic challenges as well, though. An experience that captivates both my challenges and solutions came after my first Calculus midterm. Math always came easy to me in high school, so when I received a C- on a major test, I was shocked; never had I done so poorly on an exam before. I was sad and confused and felt like I couldn’t keep up here if I was already doing poorly, but when I learned that a friend did equally poorly, my nerves were settled a bit. Since then we’ve helped each other and studied for the subsequent exams with improving results. By allowing myself to be supported by others, I’ve learned that I cannot face every situation by myself. I believe that Parker J. Palmer’s words in Week 11 perfectly summarize my perspective when he said, “when I flourish, it is easy to maintain the illusion of separateness, easy to imagine that I alone am responsible for my good fortune. But when I fall, I see a secret hidden in plain sight: I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11). Admitting failure was difficult for me, but the comfort in knowing that I was not alone and the fact that I had to seek help from my peers was valuable. 
From the challenges that I have experienced during my first semester at Notre Dame, I have better learned how to learn. The discomfort and entering uncharted waters from these experiences has not only been a catalyst for personal growth, but I’ve better prepared myself to grow from future experiences. As Reverend James B. King writes in Week 12’s “Holy Cross and Christian Education,” personal growth and the ability to learn require commitment:
The educational process itself requires a particular type of dying to self. Whenever we have to shed old ways of thinking, viewing, or perceiving the world around us and ourselves, a conversion of both heart and mind must take place. The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know. (Holy Cross and Christian Education By Reverend James B. King - Moreau FYE Week 12)
Being at Notre Dame has given me the opportunity to shake up the foundations of what I know and present opportunities to learn from unique experiences. From what I’ve learned in class, I have realized the importance of making a concerted effort to benefit from these experiences through contemplation and discomfort. I will work to be more comfortable with discomfort and try to better understand what makes me uncomfortable in said situations to uncover what drives my growth.