Intagration II Week 14- Encountering Long Lines at Modern Market As the semester is coming to a close, I now have a firm mental grasp on my life here at Notre Dame. I have dealt with success and failure both academically and through the sport of swimming. I believe our team has found their footing after the shake-up with our coaching staff. I have learned how to buckle down and actually study for my classes. I think Moreau has given me a great opportunity to reflect and organize the thoughts I’ve had throughout the semester. At the beginning of the year, I created my goal sheet with what I wanted to accomplish both physically and academically. I wrote down some very hefty goals but I had to understand that they couldn’t happen overnight. “Instead of letting your life be ruled by the expectations of others or your own expectation that you have to be perfect, what if you just did your best?” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit" By Julia Hogan, Moreau FYE week 9). It is hard for me to relax sometimes and let go of expectations. I set a lot of goals for myself as a student athlete and I try not to back away from those that are challenging. My highschool coach would always tell me to shoot for twice as high as you originally were aiming in order to maximise your true potential. We recently had our first big tapered meet the weekend before Thanksgiving break and I wasn’t satisfied with my performance. I don’t believe I went into the meet with unreasonable expectations, but I had to let go of the poor races and focus on what is ahead of me. I know I went to the meet and tried my best and that is all I can currently ask for. I always thought I was particularly good at putting those I'm talking to at ease. I try to be very welcoming in my conversations and make an effort to make the person feel valued and understood. I believe there is still an imbalance in everyone's ability to express their opinion and I do my best to give the quiet or shy people a chance to feel comfortable and represented. I am also aware of the racial injustices that are still prevalent in today’s society. “Pope Francis and Catholic social teaching enjoin on us a responsibility to actively reverse systemic injustices that we have sadly inherited”(“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” By Christopher J. Devron, Moreau FYE week 10). Here at Notre Dame, I believe people are treated fairly and with respect no matter their race, religon, or sexual orientation. Most importantly it is not just about what I think, as I fall into the huge majority of students who attend here. I have made close friendships with people from very diverse backgrounds who share the same love for this place as I do. They see this University as a home and they feel safe enough here to report a problem if one ever arises. I feel like I'm now an active and important part of many communities around campus. I’ve participated in many dorm activities and I'm happy to say that our quad’s common room now hosts people almost every night. We just had our Sorin Christmas decorating night and, surprisingly, it was one of my favorite events so far. “Leadership for community consists in creating, holding, and guarding a trustworthy space in which human resourcefulness may be evoked” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” By Parker J. Palmer Moreau FYE week 11). I’ve learned who my close friends are in my dorm and I understand the friend groups that have formed. I do not believe that cliques are a negative thing, I think they are just a given product of human interaction. I have tried to be someone who doesn't care about these cliques, mostly because I am outside of a lot of the interactions as I don’t get to go to too many parties. I think I’ve created a welcoming place within my dorm for anyone to come by. We had our whole https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/modules/items/105279 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/modules/items/105279 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/modules/items/105304 hallway wrap doors in christmas wrapping paper and seeing everyone work together on the project strengthened our sense of community. I knew coming to college would be a fresh start for me but for some reason it just felt like I could go back home and resume high school. The team had to stay on campus for fall break so I had been counting down the days until I got to go home for Thanksgiving. When I got to see all my friends, it was definitely enjoyable, but they had all seemed to change just a little bit. I guess I could’ve expected this to happen but it was especially odd because they all stayed in-state and a lot of them were at the same college. I’ve had a few low times since I’ve been here. Nothing overly serious, mainly just homesickness and missing my friends. I believe the quote from “The Screwtape Letters” summarizes how I’ve dealt with these experiences. “He leaves the creature to stand up on it’s own legs-to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants to be” (“The Screwtape Letters” By C.S. Lewis, Moreau FYE week 12). Without fully realizing it, I had overcome my homesickness by simply moving on. I still have great relationships with my old friends but when I saw them over break it felt like I was trying to relive highschool moments with them. In my low times here at college I found new people who lift me up and have really found a new friend group. I still am dating the same girl long distance and it was such an incredible feeling to see her again. She is someone I haven’t moved on from and I hope we can continue to grow our relationship and carry it through college. I have hope that things will go well between us and we can still find ways to connect with each other when we are in our “trough” periods of life. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/modules/items/105321 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/modules/items/105321